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Mr. R. Coleman (Marlow, UK)

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The Rage [DVD]
The Rage [DVD]
Dvd ~ Andrew Divoff
Offered by Direct-Offers-UK-FBA
Price: 2.70

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars 28 Turkeys Later, 19 Oct 2010
This review is from: The Rage [DVD] (DVD)
OK, so you see somewhere that this is by the makers of 'Hostel' and you settle in one night to see some blood splattered mayhem and gore, knowing that it probably is going to contain little known actors with hammy dialogue and even less plot depth ! Yeah, we all do it now and again, but now and then you also find a movie that surprises you - I had that with 'Pulse'.

So, when I read the plot about a 'mad' scientist' creating a virus that gets out and changes people into insane bloodthirsty maniacs, I immediately thought of '28 Day Later' - and the not so memorable '28 weeks later' - and thought I'd give the film a chance. And to give myself credit I stuck it out to the end, even though the Diazepam was beginning to take hold !

The film is a blood-thirsty gore-fest from start to finish, but as predicted the actors and plot did not disappoint in their total lack of performance and story-line. Though I have to say the main performance of the mad scientist probably stole the show - especially with the amount of prosthetics he had to wear. What also let this movie down is the sheer rubbish that the CGi team managed to get super-imposed onto the reels of film. I wanted to call the infectious birds Vultures but that would be doing Vultures an injustice. Better that I call them 'silly flying Turkeys' than anything else. Imagine 'cannibalistic' turkeys in a Xena or Hercules show and you'll picture it in your head.

Highlights for me from the film was hanging a mutie midget on a hook and then beating him with a stick, watching a huge man have a screwdriver and hammer rammed in his head and only dying when he had a pipe-shaft shoved up his behind with the usual results, and the daft teens smashing the sole surviving window of a caravan to escape the 'turkeys' that had smashed the rest of the windows (why not just run out the flaming door !).

Also the virus seems to be so unstable (in plot) that one minute it infects animals (vultures, and leeches I guess), brings the dead to life to whack small kiddies on the head with sticks, and then at the end has a total 'Re-animator' moment with a decapitated head telling the body to come back !

Lastly I would say that to me the makers of the film seemed at times to be making a bit of a tribute or homage to the early black and white Frankenstein movies or 70's Hammer movies. Plodding mutants, square heads, brains in jars and high power transformers that our villainous adversaries seem to fall into at regular intervals !

This movie is a 'right Turkey' - 2 out of 5 ! Anyone thinking it deserves more obviously needs their head tested, or watched it with more valium than I did !

Annihilation Squad (Last Chancers)
Annihilation Squad (Last Chancers)
by Gavin Thorpe
Edition: Mass Market Paperback

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Kage finally Daemonically loses it !!, 12 May 2010
Annihilation Squad is Gav Thorpes third and final book in his `Last Chancers' series of novels, concerning the exploits of psychopathic soldier Kage and Lt Schaefer and their rag-tag bunch of Warhammer 40K Dirty-Dozen-esque heroes (or villains if you like!) on their suicidal missions that no-one else in the Imperium will attempt.

Book three sees our bad-boy collective trying to rescue or assassinate a self appointed Emperor on the Planet Armageddon, who has teamed up with the Orks and is threatening the stability of the entire sector by his actions. However, as the mission gets deeper and deeper into enemy territory, Kage begins to get blackouts as he descends into an inner Daemon led assault on both the enemy, his friends and his own sanity.

Personally I have to say that I feel that the books have got better as the series has gone on, probably in my own opinion that the reader by book three is getting used to the weird 1st person way of writing that Thorpe has written the series in. Book one had far too many characters for me and book two's limited amount of characters was better - something which is continued in this book to great success.

My only real issue with this book is the ending, which as others have stated does end far too fast and leaves the reader thinking about whatever happened to the rest of the Last Chancers. Certainly I would imagine there can be no more of Kage and the Last Chancers with this ending - but who knows in the Black library universe !

My own personal ending for this series - if you wanted to kill everyone off - would have been that the servo carried by Erasmus (and which Kage hated so much) had turned out to be a targeting locator (re-configured by Oriel) for the Imperium ships above the planet. The group escape the destruction of the hive and all die in getting revenge on Oriel.

I would have given this book a 5, but due to the almost seemingly pressurised deadline ending, I will only give it a 4.

Prophecy (Deathlands)
Prophecy (Deathlands)
by James Axler
Edition: Mass Market Paperback

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Did I read this bad book - or dream it in a gassed state !, 25 Mar 2010
OK, so I will readily admit that the Deathlands books are my favourite novels - I have kind of grown up with them I guess since the 80's - so it really grieves me to have to give a story a bad review but this book stinks - literally (if you've read about the nerve gas you'll understand).

One of the worst things for me in a DL novel are the weird and wonderful matt-trans induced dreams that our beloved heroes undergo during the matt-trans process, which for me should be scrapped in favour of adding something more to the plot of the book. Now take that thought and think about a book that is about a 60% weird induced state of reality with talking bears, and funny chattering meercat type creatures, all the gang turning into dogs and panthers and mice and in love with half women / half horse creatures, storms of frogs and locusts, and bunches of red Indians fighting the ghosts of their forefathers ! Not exactly something to give a potential reader much enthusiasm ! Was the author in a state of cannabis induced delirium ?

Though it is not as bad as the worst book 'Separation' it comes a close second. A sad and disastrous 2.

Case 39 [DVD]
Case 39 [DVD]
Dvd ~ Renee Zellweger
Price: 3.98

23 of 29 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Dear Diary - met a devil of a little girl named Lilith today !, 25 Feb 2010
This review is from: Case 39 [DVD] (DVD)
Firstly I think I have to say that I am not a huge Renee Zellweger fan, so really approached this movie with some trepidation - I was also worried that I would not be able to stop seeing her as Bridget Jones and would be waiting for her to run off with some British hunk and that that would ruin the film for me. However, that said she did not write in her diary and her hunk ? Well, let's just say there's a sting in the tail as far as he is concerned !

Basic plot ? Social worker Zellweger is given the case of a young girl who appears to be potentially experiencing some trouble at home, and after meeting the `weird' parents and a quite `disturbing' oven event, Zellweger takes day-to-day customer of the child after the parents are thrown in the local nuthouse. Shortly after though, the sweet little girl Lilith begins to turn into every parent's worst nightmare and as the small girl starts to be linked to the deaths of Zellweger's most closest friends, she starts to realise that maybe the girl's parents were not quite as mad as she thought at first.

To me the film really feels like an `Exorcist' hybrid, but my big issue with the movie is that the reason for Lilith's behaviour is not really gone into in any real depth like others of this genre, and once again - like so many other movies today - it felt at times like there was probably an awful lot of plot cut out to get it to a length that the makers thought an audience could comfortably slurp their coke and crunch their popcorn through. Mistake people ! I'd rather have got a second helping and sat another 20 minutes or so to expand the depth. The few brief visual seconds of a demon inside the child are clearly not given enough precedence, explained or used to maximise the story. There are a few visually disturbing scenes but cut those out and your left with a PG movie !

The movie certainly has me appreciating Zellweger a little more, but not enough to have me searching out BJ Diary in the shops ! So a reasonable movie for a night in, but it is not going to set the drama and horror world afire ! 3 out of 5.

Lastly - Dear English actors stop putting on the fake American voices, it sounds so ......fake !
Comment Comments (2) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Oct 27, 2011 8:46 PM BST

Evilution [DVD] [2008] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]
Evilution [DVD] [2008] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]
Dvd ~ Nathan Bexton
Price: 8.65

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Re-animator for the Iraqi Gangster Generation, 4 Feb 2010
In my own opinion this movie is basically an alien hybrid movie of the old Re-animator movies from years ago - scientist bringing the dead back to life for the best reasons but with the usual disastrous and bloody results.

Basic story : American scientists working in Iraq, find a way of re-animating the dead using an Alien life-form/virus. When the base is blown up to destroy the research which has got out of control, one scientist escapes and takes up residence in the basement of an apartment block, where after a few run ins with the pathetic local young gangsters, he tries to bring one of them back from the dead while continuing his research. Meanwhile his stock of the virus is stolen by a drug addict who injects it thinking it will give him a high, turning him into a blood thirsty zombie-esqe creature who begins to run amok in the complex.

I do not remember seeing any of these actors before and I do not think that the budget was particularly high, though I think most of the $'s were probably spent on fake blood and outfits for our scientists extremely erotic and sexy neighbour.

This movie also contains probably the worst `Hip hoppy' Gangster acting of any movie that I have ever seen in the past - you'll not be sure if you should laugh or cry it's so bad ! You get the feeling at times that these guys would run back to mummy if you slapped them in the face !

I was also not happy with the ending of this movie either. Hero dies stupidly ! I'd have just kicked her off the roof ! And then burnt the building - including the slightly deranged hotel manager who seems to have had an agenda of his own which is not fully explained in the film - edited out on the cutting room floor I feel.

I cannot say I would by this movie and seriously would not recommend anyone else to buy it - but it is still worth a watch. Zombie `completists' I think will buy it though ! So 3 out of 5, nothing above average for me.

Dead Like Me: Life After Death The Movie [DVD] [2009] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]
Dead Like Me: Life After Death The Movie [DVD] [2009] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]
Dvd ~ Ellen Muth

0 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Enjoyable , but too many questions for grand finale !, 3 Feb 2010
OK, so let's face it. The majority of the people intending to either buy or rent this movie are going to be people - like me - that enjoyed the first two TV series and are eager to learn what has happened to our reluctant Dead Reaper George in the intervening years since series two - when the makers of the series seem to have given up on a really enthralling and unique piece of TV.

However, though I - unlike a lot of the people doing the reviewing - found this film very enjoyable and the 87 minutes flew by so fast that I thought that I had been reaped myself. However, the problem with this movie is that it seems to throw up more questions than actual answers ! For instance, why was the new head Reaper bad and trying to cause so much havoc ? (personally I'd like to have seen that he was working `for the other side' in a good against evil reaping rivalry, whose influence caused our Reaping group to go against the grain and act out of character). Why instigate a `Pet' Reaper from out of nowhere ? What happened to the poor dead delivery man that got Reaped and then wandered around aimlessly looking for the light ? And I would have been more than willing to accept a new Reaper rather than replace one actress with another !

I cannot recommend this movie for those people that have not seen the TV series, though I have to say that I feel the introduction should be more than enough for `newbies' to follow and maybe get an insight and a desire to see past episodes. It's no Hollywood blockbuster that's for sure.

When all is said and done, I enjoyed it, was left wanting more, but felt that the makers had tried to cram a 4 hour movie into 87 minutes and left most of the plot on the editing floor ! So 4 out of 5 for me.

Inglourious Basterds [DVD] (2009)
Inglourious Basterds [DVD] (2009)
Dvd ~ Brad Pitt
Offered by DVD Overstocks
Price: 3.99

3 of 6 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Jewish Dirty Dozen do Allo Allo Spaghetti Western version of WW2 !, 1 Feb 2010
I know it is only a movie and a piece of pure fiction but I did have the following issues with the movie. 1st Once again Hollywood is re-writing the history of the universe - this time by killing off the entire German high-command and Hitler himself and ending World War II an entire year earlier than in the history books dictate ! Oddly though, I think it was a good plot for the movie, BUT, a far, far better ending for the film would have been that when the evil `Jew Hunter' Landa reached the axis lines Raine actually finds out that all the main Nazi characters assassinated were all doubles, which would then have meant Landa did it all for nothing and could have been killed on the spot. This would have worked better for me anyhow ! 2nd It appeared to me that on a number of occasions that in this movie that if were not either Jewish or American you were either going to die, or be made to look an idiot - The British commander gives the Americans away, all the French die and though the film sets out to scalp as many Nazi's as possible it fails to show that there were actually some people fighting for Germany that were good people - if a little confused by their own idealism (I know I worked with some many years ago who were forced to join or be shot !!). 3rd The movie seems to spend a great deal of time setting up situations that go nowhere - for instance, Shosanna escapes from Landa at the beginning of the movie and though she meets him later, nothing is made of her hatred of him or her true identity revealed to him, which kind of begs the point why show it in the first place !

Anyhow, when all is said and done I have to say that I enjoy a Tarantino movie now and again, but whereas many reviewers seem to be saying that Inglourious Basterds is a Tarantino masterpiece, I `personally' have to say that the watching of this movie did not match my anticipation of actually watching it ! Certainly many of the fans of Tarantino who are going to expect that the movie is going to live up to the action sequences that appear on the trailers are going to be sadly disappointed, for it is much more of a `talkie' film than an action film. I would describe it more as a WW2 movie that is filmed in the way that the talking sequences were done on old Spaghetti western movies, with a bit of barbarism thrown in, with Pitt seemingly trying his best to steal a terrible accent from old 70's dirty dozen movies !

I have many Tarantino movies on DVD, etc, but I am not going to buy this one. I'll watch it again sometime to see if I missed anything, but to me I feel that about an hour was cut from the movie and is being stored for a later longer release on some new format in about 10 years or so - a movie that will show alternative endings and relationships that were actually filmed but not edited in - or edited out should I say.

Highlights for me were Christolph Waltz's portrayal of Landa, and Schweiger as Stiglitz who I really would have like to have seen utilised in the movie far more than he was - his life before the Basterds rescued him seemed far more interesting before he joined them !!!

So, for me it is worth a watch, but nothing more - Please note this is my own opinion only. So, 3 out of 5. (would give it 7 of 10 but can't !!)

Whip It [Blu-ray] [2009] [US Import]
Whip It [Blu-ray] [2009] [US Import]
Dvd ~ Ellen Page
Offered by passionFlix UK
Price: 5.54

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Teen Girly Movie Goes To The Rollerderby !, 28 Jan 2010
OK, so look, I cannot say that this is my usual genre of movies, but it is quite nice to take a break from all the Aliens, Monsters and general Bad Maniacal Slashers causing havoc in the universe and I have to say that I quite enjoyed it for what it was - a story of a young girl growing in a dead-beat town, with all the usual teen urges that come with the blossoming of true adolescence. We've all been there - must be more to the world, first sexual experience and betrayal, and parents that want us to live our lives exactly the way that they had planned it for us.

My only real issue with this movie is that although Ellen Page plays our young hero superbly, I cannot say that I was overly impressed with her skating ability ! Yeah, it's a silly issue - but with a movie about a girl joining a skating team it may have helped to have a better skater, for at times she did not look as confident on her wheels as the rest of the cast and she was a little bit to `strained' going around the track.

Anyhow, Ellen Page is by far the star of this movie, plays it well and is going to go much further than just a few teenie movies. So - for me - a thoroughly enjoyable break from my norm, the sort of movie you would watch on a plane and not tell anyone after that you enjoyed it !!So, 4 out of 5 - would give it more but I am sure my heavy action / sci-fi friends would laugh at me !

Aliens: DNA War (Aliens (Dark Horse))
Aliens: DNA War (Aliens (Dark Horse))
by Diane Carey
Edition: Paperback

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Ahhhhhh, flying swarms of face-huggers !! Yeah, right !, 20 Jan 2010
Firstly I have to say that I invested my money in this book after reading Carey's quite enjoyable Aliens novel Cauldron, so therefore set about reading this with some relish to get my Aliens fixation sated. And I can honestly say that for the first 100 or 120 pages of this story I felt that once again Carey was beginning to set up quite a good tale with a few interesting characters, even if it was written in the horrible first person narration - which I hate as 99.9% of the time our hero will probably live and save the day at the end of the book ! Missing personnel, strange deaths and strained family relationships moving it along quite nicely.

HOWEVER, then the author starts to completely change what we all feel we know - and love - about our cute little Alien adversaries and many people reading the book may well feel that Carey is tarnishing the Alien name with the liberties she is taking - especially with the evolvement of the Alien species - and this in my own humble opinion starts to reduce the enjoyment of the story.

Please don't get me wrong, the novel is still quite enjoyable, but I feel for anything an author creates or does should really have some kind of explanation. I am not sure that I could take the idea of roving masses of face huggers, that evolve into flying beast and then swarm into the sky - surely the beautiful vista mentioned in this book would have been swarmed with Aliens if that were the case. The whole idea of the Aliens changing their pattern of behaviour and stop attacking humans and defend them against face-huggers, whilst simultaneously allowing themselves to be smacked in the head ! There is also a huge battle at the climax of this book concerning rival Alien swarms, but the researchers watching the Aliens do not have a clue as to the differences and it is left up to the visiting medic to point it out - not very observant considering the length of time they had been on the planet. The book needed a queen or two !

Lastly, with regards to the PP robots sent to kill the planet foreign visitors - I may be wrong here, but in the movies that Aliens tend to take on some of the properties and characteristics of the host - thinking Alien 3 and AVP2 here. So surely that would mean that they take on some of the DNA of the host organism., which would therefore make them invulnerable to the PP's. Or am I missing the point.

At the end of the day, if you're like me you'll buy this book to fill the gap that is missing in your Aliens collection, but it certainly is not the best in the series, and credit to the author for trying something new - even if in my own opinion it did not work. So 3 out of 5 - actually wanted to give it 3.5 as it's not as bad as a 3 but not quite as good as a 4 !!

Saw VI [DVD]
Saw VI [DVD]
Dvd ~ Tobin Bell
Offered by DVDBayFBA
Price: 5.09

9 of 14 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Excellent way to reduce body fat !, 16 Jan 2010
This review is from: Saw VI [DVD] (DVD)
Saw Fans will love it.

Saw Virgins maybe will enjoy it, but probably confused by it.

Blood / cringe factor - Extremely high !

Guys will go 'Yeah'

Girls will go 'Yuck' (Joke - your all probably more blood thirsty than us guys).

Target market hit - 99%

Potential for follow on movie Saw 7 due to ending - 100%

Personal cringe favourite - guy cutting his own fat off !

Percentage of people who would wish Saw would do the things in this movie to ex-partners - off the scale !

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