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Hall of Shame - the most ludicrous acts in rock history


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Initial post: 31 Oct 2008 11:10:42 GMT
Last edited by the author on 31 Oct 2008 11:11:53 GMT
Nugent_Dirt says:
Let's face it , there are many rock bands - particularly in the metal, punk and prog scenes - who are lost way up their own jacksies thanks to delusions of self importance. Their lyrics are often clumsy, pretentious and portentous and the arrangments plodding and over-elaborate. Worst of all humour is notable by its absence. So, here are some initial nominations for the Hall of Shame, which no doubt many of you will object to/disagree with.

Dream Theater - they have a concept album called 'Scenes from a Memory' split into Acts 1 and 2 which are further split into scenes including Overture 1928.

ELP - hard to argue against including them esp when they came up with Works 1 which had Emerson doing a piano concerto!

The Alarm - IMO The Clash are one of the most overrated rock bands ever but The Alarm took them as a template and came up with plodding fists in the air anthems like 68 Guns. And they had ridiculous barnets.

Manowar - laughable wannabee macho types who used to bleat on about being real metal and had this 'death to false metal' pose. And they werent being ironic.

Creed - if you think the original Grunge bands were introspective and intense this second wave grunge-lite combo took seriousness to a new level. Lightheartedness wasnt in their vocabulary

Spandau Ballet and Duran Duran - so self consciously stylised and Simon Le Bon's lyrics in particular are generally risible

Stryper - US christian hairmetal band although you could include pretty much any of their contemporaries
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In reply to an earlier post on 31 Oct 2008 18:44:46 GMT
spiderboris says:
Weren't Manowar the ones who wore loincloths on stage and though they were vikings? I suppose this illustrates the failings of most metal bands to be fair. Especially the black metal sorts who are usually comprised of slightly tubby blokes in black tee shirts with long hairt and too many silly tattoos, endlessly going 'OOOOOOAAAAARRRGGHHHH!! guuuUUUUURRRGH! SATAN IS MY LORD!!!!!'

We might enjoy the music, but most of the bands are trying so hard to look sinister and dangerous they usually look like dim teenagers thrown out of a Halloween party for just being to stupid-looking. Marlilyn Manson, we're looking at you! You're not terrifying! You're name is Brian! Wearing a corset and funny contact lenses is not frightening me!

I'm more scared of Cher! Now there's a ludicrous act! What's worse, in real life, when she speaks it comes out all robot and vocodery. There was no technology involved in that Believe single, she's really a cyborg! No wonder she's been alive for so long!

In reply to an earlier post on 12 Dec 2008 12:11:49 GMT
Martin says:
I frankly find Coldplay take some beating - and of course I'd like to volunteer to personally administer it.

In reply to an earlier post on 12 Dec 2008 12:55:11 GMT
Jesus1672 says:
I've got a stick you can borrow, as long as I get a shot at them too...

In reply to an earlier post on 12 Dec 2008 12:59:14 GMT
[Deleted by the author on 12 Dec 2008 12:59:34 GMT]

In reply to an earlier post on 12 Dec 2008 13:39:17 GMT
Sleepytime Gorilla Museum, are a weird looking act that play an outlandish style of music. Not the friendliest looking band to play at a five year olds birthday party...scary stuff!

In reply to an earlier post on 12 Dec 2008 13:48:11 GMT
BOF says:
KISS..................................................................................

In reply to an earlier post on 12 Dec 2008 14:32:30 GMT
Nugent_Dirt says:
I'm never quite sure whether Kiss are/were (?) being tongue in cheek, which is why I didnt include them.

In reply to an earlier post on 12 Dec 2008 16:05:20 GMT
Martin says:
Yeah, their tongues are firmly in their mascaraed cheeks all the way to their very accommodating bank.

In reply to an earlier post on 13 Dec 2008 14:27:06 GMT
Nugey, i pretty much agree with your list, apart from The Alarm.
I have always kinda liked The Alarm, its a pity they emerged during the days when bands seemed compelled to make "hair statements". Looking back now, they look like a bunch of toppers, but at the time, alongside poodle rock, it seemed almost normal.
I suppose some saw their anthem style songs as irritating, but they were a superb live act. Nothing flashy, just good jobbing musicians who performed well as a group. Extra credits for writing a song about a Stephen King book.

As for The Clash being over-rated: well in the eyes of Butler, The Clash are rock gods. My fave band. I could probably write 1000 articulate words to argue why they are NOT over-rated, but i'll save that for a rainy day.

My nominations for your list would be Metallica and Bon Jovi.
Although I absolutely love the black album, Metallica seem to have forged the remainder of their career on its merits. The documentary Some Kind of Monster, exposes them as a bunch of pampered pretentious whingers, who take themselves far too seriously. They have that "bikers with attitudes" image. Really they should all wear pin stripe suits on stage, and admit to the world that its all about the money.

Bon Jovi. Laughable. What more is there to say.

In reply to an earlier post on 13 Dec 2008 14:30:12 GMT
Martin says:
Bang on Buts! Bon Jovi are indeed as absurd as they come - how did we manage to overlook them previously? Also add Bums'n'Posers to the list, please.

In reply to an earlier post on 13 Dec 2008 21:35:25 GMT
U2 take the proverbial piss.

In reply to an earlier post on 13 Dec 2008 22:06:58 GMT
CJ Loades says:
Lieutenant Pigeon-did they do anything other than "Mouldy old Dough"? Surely THE most ludicrous group in history!!

In reply to an earlier post on 13 Dec 2008 22:29:39 GMT
BOF says:
I originally said Kiss but on reflection Token socialist has hit the nail bang on the head U2 - yup that a definate U2

In reply to an earlier post on 13 Dec 2008 22:29:41 GMT
[Deleted by the author on 15 Dec 2008 09:47:51 GMT]

In reply to an earlier post on 13 Dec 2008 23:41:06 GMT
Martin says:
It really is fantastic to learn that it's not just me who loathes U2 - for so long I thought I was alone in this!

Anyone else out there hate Sting as well?

In reply to an earlier post on 15 Dec 2008 09:23:46 GMT
Nugent_Dirt says:
And you can add me. Cant think why I left this bunch of po faced proselytising christians off the list. They are a good argument for bringing back the Roman circuses. Is it just me or does the thought of arch tool Bono being savaged by a lion bring a wry smile to the lips. While we're on the subject of manes I'd also throw Bon Jovi into the arena for their music makes me want to bludgeon my DAB to death when I hear the fecking dire 'Livin on a prayer' polluting the airwaves, a 'song' I loathe intensely.

In reply to an earlier post on 15 Dec 2008 12:49:39 GMT
Martin says:
This could be a new club!

In reply to an earlier post on 15 Dec 2008 13:22:41 GMT
SP Crowley says:
We're getting into the realms of who we hate instead of who is ludicrous. I hate Coldplay but they are not ludicrous. Sting falls into both categories as indeed do Manowar. The Alarm transcended my ability to articulate coherently so they must be doing something right.
I'd add bands with 'comedy' names like Ned's Atomic Dustbin although they would claim that they never wanted to be taken seriously is the first place (and achieved this lack of credibility with nobs on. Carter the unstoppable Sex Machine, you are in this club too).
It is possible to like a ludicrous band - I'm quite partial to a bit of Kiss, and Laibach - who take pomposity to a level Sting and U2 couldn't concoct if you left them in a room full of test tubes and typing monkeys - are easily the greatest band to come out of Slovenia.
However, if you want a winner, step forward Kirk Brandon and the mighty Spear of Destiny. Beat that.

In reply to an earlier post on 15 Dec 2008 13:34:22 GMT
BOF says:
No I think you are standing up for a band you obviously like
U2 are ludicrous because
The guitarist calls himself edge, they write pompous songs, the lead singer thinks he's a god the drummer dyed his hair blonde and who can remenber the bass player.
Finally just because we hate somebody it does not mean they are not ludicrous

In reply to an earlier post on 15 Dec 2008 13:35:43 GMT
I love this idea... For bad hair Flock of Seagulls have it nailed!! Phil Oaky has a few questions to answer on this too!
Ridiculous - Sigue Suiue Sputnick took some beating. I did like the music though. I once ordered their single F1 11 from WHS. When I went to collect it the assistant handed over the VHS box which was covered in pictures of vibrators!!! Not the punk band, the type that use Duracells!! Oh dear!
As for the best `it was so bad, it was good' category I nominate Kelly Marie - Feels like I'm in Love with a fantastic(!) video filmed in central London where she `danced' with two black guys in white sailors outfits. You have to see the expressions on the faces of the public as they wandered by...

More later....

In reply to an earlier post on 15 Dec 2008 15:39:31 GMT
M. R. Witney says:
Dr Hook
or
Brotherhood of Man
I know, not exactly in the rock catagory, but as the world's most ludicrous they do take some beating !
Anyway, that's a burden I've been trying to express for years and years & now I'm free..............FREE I TELL YOU !!!!!
The only other one that comes close is Freddie And The Dreamers (or is that carrying hatefulness too far ??).

In reply to an earlier post on 15 Dec 2008 15:58:26 GMT
SP Crowley says:
Hang on!!!! I loathe U2 for all the reasons you detail - I was just making the point that I like Laibach and they are so absurd that it's untrue.
It is true that 'just because we hate somebody it does not mean they are not ludicrous' but that doesn't mean that they are necessarily ludicrous because we hate them.

In reply to an earlier post on 15 Dec 2008 16:07:24 GMT
M R, please forgive them a little, Dr Hook did write The Ballad of Lucy Jordan, a classic for Marianne Faithful! No one has touched on Glam yet!!! WIzard were ludicrous BUT great songs.....

In reply to an earlier post on 15 Dec 2008 16:09:18 GMT
M. R. Witney says:
I hope you're not saying that Brotherhood of Man weren't Ludicrous.
In fact they fulfill both catagories.............ludicrous AND hated !!!
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Discussion in:  rock discussion forum
Participants:  45
Total posts:  132
Initial post:  31 Oct 2008
Latest post:  13 Feb 2009

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