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Newsflash!! The latest Scientific discovery...


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Showing 1-14 of 14 posts in this discussion
Initial post: 13 Jan 2012 18:37:46 GMT
Last edited by the author on 13 Jan 2012 18:42:46 GMT
Spin says:
Nicotine aids memory and reduces the risk of dementia.
Processed meat, like bacon and sausages, causes cancer.
Conclusion: Forget breakfast, light a cigarette instead...

(edit) "Mommy, whats for breakfast?
"Marlboro lites. And I put a nicotine patch in with your
lunch."

In reply to an earlier post on 13 Jan 2012 18:54:15 GMT
Withnail says:
Bad Science

In reply to an earlier post on 13 Jan 2012 19:00:59 GMT
Spin says:
Withnail: no. Science as reported by science. Nicotine aids memory and processed meat raises the chances of pancreatic cancer by 20%. Who are we to question science, eh?

Posted on 14 Jan 2012 00:49:00 GMT
Mondo Ray says:
8% of motoring accidents involve alcohol. Therefore those of us who are drinkers are far safer than those eejits who don't drink but cause 92% of accidents.

Dodgy stats, eh? Here's a fact - No-one in my (extended) family as far back as records go, which is quite a few generations and includes hundreds of people, have ever had any kind of cancer. Many of them (including myself) have been smokers and drinkers, and, excluding death from war and accidents, we have an average lifespan of 98.4 years. Skewing that figure for the last century gives us a lifespan average of 102. When my Grandfather died at the age of 96, his three older brothers put it down to the fact that he'd given up smoking a year earlier.

I'm 66 and have two older siblings, both of whom still work and are of sound mind and enjoy their tipple and smoke of choice.

Genetics, I believe, is what that's all about.

In reply to an earlier post on 14 Jan 2012 04:26:37 GMT
light says:
Spin,

That's great news! People who smoke can now remember that nicotine has raised their blood pressure which may lead to stroke, was a contributing factor in their stinky breath, yellow teeth and fingers, irritablilty and a sticky film on walls, curtains and windows....:D

In reply to an earlier post on 14 Jan 2012 16:16:09 GMT
I've noticed yellow ceilings where people smoke, but not the other things you mention. Also, cigars are as bad as cigarettes for high blood pressure I believe, not so bad for lung cancer. However I don't know if in either case it is the nicotine that causes the rise in blood pressure or another of the substances in tobacco.

In reply to an earlier post on 14 Jan 2012 19:31:51 GMT
Spin says:
Light: If one eats a double pepperonni pizza and has a cigarette afterwards, one will die but at least one will remember why one is dying.

Posted on 15 Jan 2012 19:51:57 GMT
R. Kroell says:
I smoke, I drink beer and wine, have no physical activity at all, and I am gay. Hell, I am dead already!

Posted on 15 Jan 2012 21:00:56 GMT
kraka says:
R. Kroell hi

Greetings, your consolation must be that none of us are perfect, your worst failing could be not to live life as fully as possible, don't be negative, enjoy all that you have.

good luck..............kraka

Posted on 15 Jan 2012 21:03:16 GMT
R. Kroell says:
I am enjoying,thank you!

Posted on 15 Jan 2012 22:07:14 GMT
Last edited by the author on 17 Jan 2012 17:27:30 GMT
kraka says:
..................... NEWS FLASH..... NEWS FLASH.... NEWS FLASH......NEWS FLASH...............................

Breaking news on Sky News and BBC.

Get to your TV....ASAP.

Reports are just coming in, scientist in Scotland have discovered an inexplicable gap forming between the horizon and the sky it seems to be made of something invisible but as yet unknown. Measurements being recorded from a safe distance indicate that the gap is deepening and widening at a steady rate. Speculation is rampant from, an unknown natural phenomena, to possible exterrestrial interference of some kind. The latest information from the scientists is that whatever it is it is preventing the rain from reaching the Earth, this they say is as worrying as it is startling to witness. Concerns seem to be growing by the minute.

GET TO A TV QUICK.

EDIT.
News update. It was announced today that the gap between the horison and the sky had now become a serious issue for the scientists as nearly half of Scotland had no access to the sky obove. An eroplane that tried take-off had to abort unable to reach the sky also aircraft in flight found they could not land. Scottish farmers are marching to Edinbourgh concerned that the rain unable to reach the ground will jeopardise the crops. Scientists confirmed that the gap was invisibe and consisted of nothing out of the ordinary, the head scratching continues.

In reply to an earlier post on 15 Jan 2012 22:16:33 GMT
Last edited by the author on 16 Jan 2012 16:40:16 GMT
Spin says:
Kraka: Two "gaps" were discovered some time ago First,due to sattelites losing communication every so often, which was found to be a break in atmosphere allowing particles from the sun to interfere with transmission. (when a satellite passes over a point in the pascific ocean, all communication is briefly, intentionally cut, to avoid damage. Thats why your GPS acts up sometimes) Further, every body in the universe has "gaps". (Eg: The Cassini Division, atmospheres of the gas giants etc)" etc) Atmospheres, as a phenomenon, and like weather, cannot be predicted. Don't worry. The end of the world is NOT nigh! =)

Posted on 17 Jan 2012 17:42:48 GMT
kraka says:
Thank the lord spin, thats really put my mind to rest.

Posted on 19 Jan 2012 01:39:30 GMT
Last edited by the author on 21 Jan 2012 02:41:49 GMT
kraka says:
FURTHER NEWS FROM SCOTLAND.

It was discoverd to day that birds in Scotland are unable to fly upwards into the sky no matter how furiously they flap their wings and can be witnessed all over the land leaving their nests and walking about aimlessly much to the delight of the local cats, which in turn is a delight for the eagles that prefer a nice bit of pussy when they can get it. Without any prospect of rain reaching the ground the sale of wellies, umbrellas, souwesters, and raincoats has plummeted to zero with the knock on effects that is starting to affect the Scottish economy. Stay tuned for further reports, ...or not.

Have fun.................................kraka
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Discussion in:  religion discussion forum
Participants:  7
Total posts:  14
Initial post:  13 Jan 2012
Latest post:  19 Jan 2012

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