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I know its morbid


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Showing 26-50 of 65 posts in this discussion
In reply to an earlier post on 26 Feb 2012 15:04:06 GMT
Spin says:
MJ: Medicine and health-care cannot adhere to the beliefs of society. Real life and death occurs in hospitals. Real suffering. Not some fantastical view outlined in religion or politics. Of all the institutions in society which you can rely on to tell you the truth, the doctors and nurses concerned with public health can be relied upon. The reality of life and death are in their hands everyday. Who are we to question their experience? death is the most serious issue you will ever encounter; only the doctors and nurses will tell you the truth, not preists, rabbis or mullahs. They are only concerned with what happens AFTER you die. =) To the believers in the "afterlife" I say; I would rather spend a few more days on this earth being me, than give up to an eternity of being someone I am not...=)

Posted on 26 Feb 2012 15:08:44 GMT
Withnail says:
At least you would get to be involved in plenty of bunga bunga.

In reply to an earlier post on 26 Feb 2012 15:16:01 GMT
Spin says:
Withnail: Sorry, but what? (Excuse my ignorance)

In reply to an earlier post on 26 Feb 2012 15:19:59 GMT
Spin says:
Withnail: Apologies. I thought you were replying to my latter post, not my former. Let tht be a lesson to you: Reply to specific posts or I will look like an A**hole. =) (no, don't. I know what you are going to say...=)

In reply to an earlier post on 26 Feb 2012 15:20:06 GMT
Withnail says:
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bunga_bunga

Sometimes Wikipedia is helpful.

In reply to an earlier post on 26 Feb 2012 15:26:24 GMT
Spin says:
Withnail: Really? And where does Wiki get its info from? Its not Wiki that is useful, but those people contributing to it.. And some of those are guilty of posting misinformation...How does a novice know that what he/she reads on Wiki, or any web-net site is accurate? Indeed, how do you know that what you read from me is a truthful, accurate and succinct expression of my beliefs, knowledge and speculations?

Posted on 26 Feb 2012 15:32:14 GMT
Withnail says:
" how do you know that what you read from me is a truthful, accurate and succinct expression of my beliefs, knowledge and speculations?"

That rather presumes that I view your contris to be truthful accurate and succinct.

In reply to an earlier post on 26 Feb 2012 15:40:21 GMT
Spin says:
Withnail: My views are ALWAYS accurate and succinct. You may not agree with them, and I do not expect anyone to, but you cannot deny that they are argued and succinct...

In reply to an earlier post on 26 Feb 2012 15:44:05 GMT
Withnail says:
What happened to truthful!!!

In reply to an earlier post on 26 Feb 2012 15:55:03 GMT
Spin Wrote - "Of all the institutions in society which you can rely on to tell you the truth, the doctors and nurses concerned with public health can be relied upon"

I am afraid direct experience has prove the falsehood of that proposition. My mother always had a total and absolute fear of hospitals. So much so that when she developed breast cancer, she refused, point blank, to have any treatment as that would mean visiting a hospital. As the end approached she was told that a palliative treatment would ease the trouble she was having breathing. The doctor told her this would mean one night in hospital and would improve the quality of her last few weeks. When I left the room, the doctor also suggested that I needed a rest as, being an only child, I had been caring for her alone.

Once in hospital and the tubes were actually fitted in her chest we were told that, in fact, it required a minimum of five nights in hospital. Sadly, shortly after she was admitted, the cancer had spread to her brain and in the last conversation I was able to have with her, she believed I had dumped her in an old peoples home because I couldn't cope. She slipped into a coma later that day and died the following morning, despite my promise I would look after her and she could die at home.

The lies the doctor told only added to both of our distress and added no extra life or quality of life. I can understand why the doctor thought it was "the best thing to do", but I had a hard job convincing the nursing staff that mum had not given her informed consent to be there and that I would be suing them if they gave her any additional treatment without my written consent. I'm sure you can imagine the effect her last few days, which included an overworked doctor accidentally giving her an overdose of pethidine, in hospital had on me in the weeks and months that followed? I felt I had let her down and was so angry with the doctor concerned I briefly considered taking matters into "my own hands".

Sadly, the statement that "doctors tell the truth" is not always the case in practice.

Regards
Mark

In reply to an earlier post on 26 Feb 2012 16:00:23 GMT
Pipkin says:
Gross!!!!

In reply to an earlier post on 26 Feb 2012 16:43:05 GMT
Spin says:
ME: not if you are a bacteria...=)

In reply to an earlier post on 26 Feb 2012 17:06:04 GMT
Pipkin says:
Dear Mark,
I cried when I read your post, becasue it practically replicated my own experience with my beloved Mum. I cannot believe how ''professionals'' can take advantage of our situation and maniplulate us so. I am an extrmely strong minded woman, and so was my Mum, who said that she must never go into Hospital for any reason, She suffered from COPD and when she developed pneumonia and collapsed, my only concern was to save her. She spent twelve weeks in ICU and then was transferred to palliative care, We were told she would never walk again and that she hadn't long to live... But being her, and being me... I encouraged her to stand every day and got her walking again. The physiotherapist and Doctors were absolutely amazed... becasue she appeared to be getting better.... So the Social Worker and Doctors said she should be transfered to a ''home''.... I fought hard against this and bought her an electric bed and arranged for my Daughter and I to work 'shifts' to look after her in her own flat. But they all ganged up on me and convinced me I was going to do her extreme harm, which was the last thing I would ever do. How they ever convinced me I will never know...
I just can't go into the rest becasue it is so painful...My daughter complained assertively to the Matron and asked to see Mum's records, then the Manager of the home said that they would ban her from seeing Mum, and that she would have to take Mum out to visit with her, if she ever complained again in that manner....They neglected her so much, that I practically moved into that 'home' with her, but they still managed to kill her.
I have never forgiven myself for this Mark. I feel that I let her down really badly, and I can't ever get it out of my head, and I'm sure you feel the same.
I'd like to say it gets better, but in my case it doesn't. The only way I can deal with it is to write to all the agencies who deal with old/infirm people and demand rights. Like the one at the moment where the people with strokes who are in hospital have been left without food or adequate toilet breaks.
I really feel your abguish over this, and hope and pray you will find peace. You couldn't have done anything else.... and your dear Mum is at peace now.
The fact is that 'they' have it well and truly stitched up, for the moment.........
Take care Mark.
Margaret.

In reply to an earlier post on 26 Feb 2012 17:49:23 GMT
Dear Ms M.E. Phelan,

I'm sorry to hear that my post has awoken painful memories for you. I was especially sad to read "I have never forgiven myself for this...". I would say that, if you are to ever heal from the wounds this experience has left you with, you HAVE to find a way to forgive yourself. I think that, as Spins post at the top of this page suggests, most of us work from the assumption that health professionals will give us the best advice. We follow that advice until we discover that it was, in fact, not the best in our own individual case.

From what you write about "practically moved into that 'home'" you obviously cared deeply about your late mother and wanted to do the best for her. If you had been made to believe that taking her back home was to do her harm, of course you would allow yourself to be persuaded to do something else. Like me, all you could then do, is to try and make the best of the terrible situation you both found yourself in.

I don't know how recently you lost your mum, for me it has been over 10 years, but I hope you find a way to realise that you tried to do the best by her - and from what you said about getting her walking again, succeeded.

Best wishes
Mark

In reply to an earlier post on 26 Feb 2012 17:59:55 GMT
Pipkin says:
Hi Mark
Call me Margaret... and it's Mrs.
My Mum died six years ago..
As you say, I know I did my best, but it wasn't enough against the professionals....and I let her down..
Regards
Margaret.

Posted on 26 Feb 2012 18:19:35 GMT
Hi Margaret,

Have you ever had any sort of bereavement counselling? For a long time I felt that I had let my Mum down too. But I eventually came to realise that it was the doctor who took it upon herself to lie to Mum who was really to blame. We have to make our decisions based on the facts that are given to us. If we are not given accurate facts, we can not make the best decision. We also have to remember that the "right" course of action is usually only apparent with hindsight.

As you said yourself "you couldn't have done anything else.... and your dear Mum is at peace now. )

Best wishes
Mark

Posted on 26 Feb 2012 18:39:15 GMT
Last edited by the author on 26 Feb 2012 18:45:14 GMT
Would the three negative voters care to explain why mentioning a U2 song is unhelpful to the discussion?

I was going to make a bad pun about how they still haven't found what they're looking for, but I resisted the urge.

In reply to an earlier post on 26 Feb 2012 18:52:00 GMT
M. Jolliff says:
Being as someone else pointed out funerals are for those left behind close with something to bring a smile. Best I heard was 'Oh Lord, Its Hard To Be Humble' at my wife's uncle's funeral which suited him perfectly.

In reply to an earlier post on 26 Feb 2012 18:53:27 GMT
Withnail says:
Well done on trying to avoid that pun. Especially on Sunday Bloody Sunday!

Posted on 26 Feb 2012 18:59:41 GMT
Last edited by the author on 26 Feb 2012 19:00:00 GMT
Well, making just One more would have been Bad. So Cruel, in fact - to be so Out of Control, showing such a total lack of Pride (In the Name of Love).

I'm done now. Promise.

Posted on 26 Feb 2012 19:27:49 GMT
Ryan Williams Wrote - "Well, making just One more would have been Bad. So Cruel, in fact - to be so Out of Control, showing such a total lack of Pride (In the Name of Love)."

If that isn't worth a negative vote or two..... :-))

In reply to an earlier post on 26 Feb 2012 20:29:05 GMT
Last edited by the author on 26 Feb 2012 20:30:57 GMT
Pipkin says:
Hi Mark,
As you say hindsight is a wwnderful thing. Had I known the end result, I would definitely have died myself fighting to get Mum home. I did have bereavement counselling 40 years ago when my first daughter died, and believe it or not I do remember a lot of it. I think the biggest problem for me, is when things are taken out of my control, becasue as I said I have always been very strong, and have had to be 'in control' with the job I did. So in relying on others and things going wrong - it's not good for me. I beat myself up badly and feel that if I had just been my normal self it would not have happened. But who knows? Luckily, my Daughter in Law trained as a bereavement counsellor just after Mum died, so we have long chats.
You see, I can give out very good advice, as can we all, but it is quite difficult to take at times :)
Thanks for your help.
Regards
Margaret.

In reply to an earlier post on 27 Feb 2012 12:44:16 GMT
What would you have for yours?

A procession around the village preceded by the best New Orleans or Dixieland jazz band available playing Muskrat Ramble (and others, of course), and following the coffin, a donkey carrying my self-handcarved piece of local marble inscribed with: Now he knows!
...arriving back at my/our house where I shall be laid to rest under my favourite almond tree, or interred if you prefer, and the biggest barbecue ever held in the village, with lashings of very cold Xinisteri (white) or Maratheftiko (red) depending on the season, and everyone but everyone in the village invited.

In reply to an earlier post on 27 Feb 2012 12:49:39 GMT
Be sure to get a relative to inform us here of your demise - sounds like a right good knees up !! =)

Posted on 27 Feb 2012 14:13:47 GMT
Spin says:
"Live fast, die young and leave a good-looking corpse" (I forget who coined that phrase...sorry)
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Discussion in:  religion discussion forum
Participants:  14
Total posts:  65
Initial post:  23 Feb 2012
Latest post:  28 Feb 2012

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