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Much younger/older partners - Friendship/Romance: Beyond cut off yrs.


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In reply to an earlier post on 20 Jan 2012 17:25:39 GMT
Last edited by the author on 25 Mar 2012 12:12:14 BDT
The only somebody you`ve made any reference to is Napoleon, and the only somebody which I`ve ever claimed to be is myself.

To the extent that one accepts that to love is to care, in one direction at least, wide disparity might actually be considered an advantage. However, all that should matter in friendship is empistry, that`s empathy plus chemistry, and beyond this even the having of too much in common can be a positive disadvantage S deals with it this way, that`s to say when confronted with the jealous advances of guys her own years. "He may be thirty odd years my senior, but until such time as you like him are in shape enough (young enough) to contend for physical world records, and have the energy to compete for my friendship as he does, wishing for nothing more than this in return, I consider you to be old and he to be my own age." They are very wrong to think that she must be easier than other girls, for actually the truth is that she is infinitely more demanding, something which some have already discovered for themselves.
Should a girl be looking for romance with a guy of her own years then there is nothing better than being seen with a guy of older years, however, those that she will attract will obviously be very conceited, and therefore incapable of any genuine love - They will care for the girl to the extent that they consider there might realistically be a net benefit for them. This should never be considered enough to form the basis for any kind of relationship, but in reality, it is often found to be the basis for marriage. If you want to be popular, of any years, and with any years of disparity, you are required only to genuinely love their company.

In reply to an earlier post on 22 Jan 2012 09:05:51 GMT
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In reply to an earlier post on 22 Jan 2012 10:26:44 GMT
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Posted on 23 Jan 2012 11:50:10 GMT
Withnail says:
nothing to say, but just want to keep it top of the philosophy list?

or message for your kgb handler?

In reply to an earlier post on 23 Jan 2012 17:23:24 GMT
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In reply to an earlier post on 24 Jan 2012 19:01:33 GMT
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Posted on 26 Jan 2012 23:21:24 GMT
phoenix says:
a book which deals with mind-body, ethics, metaphysics, concept of self and other, reality, existentialist void and existance is psychotic memoirs by david forest.

In reply to an earlier post on 28 Jan 2012 11:47:55 GMT
Last edited by the author on 28 Jan 2012 12:09:11 GMT
At the end of it though what progress, if any, do you honestly think could be said to have been made beyond merely the intellectual exercise and in every day relationships? - Have you never considered that the more obscure the read the greater the respect shown. If this is the measure then for the best reads then it must also be the case that the best reads leave the most unanswered. When social philosophy is conducted in this manner it doesn`t generally answer specific every day questions, and social philosophy to mean anything that can be trusted to is far better done feet firmly planted on the ground. However, it`s probably a great read, such texts generally are.

Beyond the world of the flesh all that`s likely to survive is pure love and pure hate. Such conscious energy that by construct is privy to contamination, despite that by the laws of physics alone energy cannot simply disappear, will enter a cycle of continual change/uncertainty. All consciousness/humanity shall become lost from it, and souls shall from this point on be forever lost. God`s Love/Genuine Unconditional Love is the only nature of love capable to survive the flesh. I don`t however actually believe in God.

Posted on 31 Jan 2012 18:55:25 GMT
athanasius says:
cdd stay away from my daughters and stop tryimg to intellectualise your fetishes

In reply to an earlier post on 2 Feb 2012 12:14:38 GMT
Last edited by the author on 30 Mar 2012 09:15:24 BDT
Fortunately for you there`s more chance of my joining in a friendship with your daughters than for a camel passing through the eye of a needle - Daughters are very much a product of their fathering - Only animals, human animals in this instance, operate in black and white, and "intellectualised fetishes" are of animal origin - I do not myself however number among the animals, my cause being merely a perfect one - There is no genuine popularity with younger women ever to be had from such a depraved place as a fetish - Those that think in black and white miss virtually everything - Socioageopaths never see any other shades than these, nor can even distantly imagine to dream of colour - There is only the greatest of honours where considerable time is bridged in genuine friendship, as hard I do concede as this may be to bare for the occassional father. I have a "fetish" for all ages but this debate is one which is concerned with disparity of age, and hence I discuss it here.

In reply to an earlier post on 2 Feb 2012 18:33:34 GMT
Last edited by the author on 13 Apr 2012 09:19:16 BDT
If you acitively try and avoid friendships with people simply on account of they having been alive a different period of time than yourself you may very easily at the same time be avoiding what could otherwise have turned out to be some of the very best friendships available to you in your brief life, period. But how you may well ask is this sentiment in any way shape or form an issue for social philosophy, well, it is tending so each and every time age disparity is treated as a measure for compatability: Very controversal you may be thinking? If not so then by definition it`s surely not to be considered social philosophy.

THE AGE OF CONSENT should be gradually raised, to perhaps twenty or so years, optimally, if both better quality and longer enduring relationships are the objective, and with the bonus of far fewer being born out of wedlock. This would require to be implemented over decades rather than merely years and could only have the desired outcome alongside tight media controls.
There is generally a little less age prejudice by the age of twenty/twenty five, and if sex were to be successfully discouraged until then a far greater probability of both friendships and more serious relationships being formed for substantial reason.

The burden of proof should be shifted in the direction of the accused in all rape trials! THIS IS MOST ESSENTIAL. The current legal system here is a breeding ground for forcing girls that extra mile, and boyfriends often feel actually encouraged to exploit this situation.

Also applicable to the general population: Spiritual forces that wish to harm often attempt to exert influence through our weaknesses, making the cracks in our character wider, and our bad experiences from others more painful. Eventually our friendships become only superficial, we love in essence in an essentially selfish way, and find it near impossible to forgive. If indeed possible at all. The misguided and at its source in essence evil disease state of social age prejudice over broad disparity of years in (genuine) friendship/love, for this is most surely what friendship should ultimately be considered to be, which begins with young men and fathers, and is then through no natural propensity to it put on the shoulders of young women, becomes heightened in one. We may even become "socioageopaths" themselves, but generally, only a shadow of that genuine person which God truly meant us to be.

Spiritual forces can also masquerade as assisting us to find what we desire, but that may not be what is in our best interest, our love may become projected and turned into a self serving obsession. Projected love, based on nothing more than a vacuos desire whereby, if I love him then he must also be in love with me in return, can become the only form of love available. It`s sham love, not real, and requires of it emotion, but in the absence of any genuine affection. "He is my God and I own him". The eventual result of all of this is that we are even more damaged, and in that very area of mind where we most required healing. Best friends become worst enemies, and conversely, our worst enemies become our best friends. The silent voice of a genuine friend, disparity of years irrelevant. Such truly genuine and unconditional friendship which supports you now is to be found by only a small few, and then only once in an entire life time, where-as, with the expectation of regular sex, and in the wake of your stretched body, and with it the family which he always wanted to own, you have only the illusion of that which is truly genuine.

The creator cannot help love his creation, and help them to become what they were created to be. Love of self is essential however, for it has the power within it for the greatest healing, and will assist in turning the tables on those dark forces. In the background, the unseen realm,, an army on both sides, assisting us or deceiving us. We may first require considerable help and support, and should seek this, but eventually it must be solely down to us in which direction we face. This whether we deal in person or prejudice and are privy to genuine affection or perceived need.

Disparity requires more and not less quality time. Several hours each week when you sit down together and do nothing except simply talk about yourselves is probably about the optimal in early stage relationships, more especially where there`s considerable disparity of years. This may feel a little over the top whilst getting use to it, but at what price sorting out one`s emotional life, and creating the ideal environment for one`s ultimate well being. You talk in order to care more meaningfully. In one direction you have the ultimate carer, and in the other, the ultimate sociopath. They are precise opposites. This is very significant because it is the case that very ofen under those circumstances of wide disparity that the party responsible for the most caring ultimately receives the most blame. Social psychological thinking is very muddle brained in many areas.

Of all natures of friendship one way active friendship is not just the most demanding, the capacity for it, or not, is also the greatest test for any relationship. One way active could be managed, for instance, through communications with their friends in conjunction with texting them themselves. It`s obviously only applicable under circumstances of an already established relationship where there`s become a temporary source of distractive indiffernce, such as should your younger friend be going through any form of "associative projective" episode. When delivered honestly it can go a considerable distance in promoting the healthiest outcome to a prolonged period of thinking withdrawal. One way active friendship happens for a reason, but the outcome can be most positive in future terms for the underlying relationship. It can demonstrate very well an ability to sustain genuine interest, genuine because interest is demonstrated to be only in the one direction. It is all too easily manageable to apparently show considerable interest in another when there is a clearly definable benefit to be had for oneself. In this regard there should be considered to be two distinct natures of self love, one wholesome and the other entirely not.

Most important to disparity of years is an ability for adaption, even if need be an ability for remodelling one`s notion of right from wrong. You can only be wronged by them under those circumstances that their wrong of you has been experienced by them, and none other. In which regard neither the breaking of your personal code of conduct, nor your hurt feelings can on its own be considered as your having been wronged, or for that matter used. Their conduct may well have been less than ideal, and it is healthy practise to discuss each other`s ethics at regular intervals, such that actions and inactions may be understood more closely for what they actually represent. Disparity of person with disparity of years is generally assumed, but in reality I believe that disparity, of years is often required such that there may be greater autonomy. All said and done what matters most is that whilst pointing in the right direction, the direction towards the light, you are able to function as a team effort.

Where prejudice and disparity of years exist side by side every good act may equally be taken as being bad, and this is the very area where the angels of darkness have the most power. It works like this. What we most expect to hear in terms of another`s social circumstance to our own is what we`ve been nurtured to more readily accept as true. What in reality we are therefore most privy to believing then is in fact that everybody of given years is critically the same person. Common sense alone should indicate to this not being so, for nothing is known for certain on merely account of one`s years, whether younger, or indeed older.

To a younger friend. I promised you both genuine and unconditional friendship from the start. I`ve managed this as best I`m able thus far, I`m human after all. However, friendship cannot survive in a vacuum, it can only be unconditional save itself, friendship, and at some point there must be experienced an attempt for some kind of equilibrium. Equilibrium exists here both in the sense of ordinary giving and at the same time in the sense of a realignment of thinking - Under those specific circumstances where our personal notion for what is right and wrong, and contained within this our emotions, can be shifted to a compromise position with our younger friend, and without a negative wider implication, this must always be the endeavour. During this process it is likely that a better feel for what may be a more absolute position in terms of that which is right and that which is wrong will be experienced by us both. There is no lasting and active friendship to be had anywhere in this world without this constant striving for equilibrium on both of these levels. The alternative circumstance can only be one of my having imagined that you were my close fried, and by implication therefore that I were yours.

Taking it that you agree this is the parallel, this is what I`d be expecting of you either enacted or by way your endeavour over attempting enactment in order that I might by definition be described as your friend, for this is what you have expected of me. Your telling me that I`m your friend is neither of iteslf a jest of friendship nor an act of the same. The only measure is to be realised through the endeavour for equilibrium, and is realised only in what we are made to feel. The following then. I want two meals out on account of you`ll be paying for the petrol on our trip, a trip which I`ll allow you to believe involves us. When we eventually arrive, we`re travelling some three hundred miles, it shall be revealed for the first time that the trip is actually only about my trying to get off with a footballer, and that I`ve brought you along for support. I shall expect you to stand outside a tunnel with me on the off chance that he should appear and to thoroughly support me throughout. Some of the p[etrol shall be paid for by you. Should you not I`ll trade you in for another next time.

Taking it then that you can cope with all of this, or at the very least would wish to try to I`m prepared to shift my goal posts for what I consider to be just from injust to comply, and I shall consider myself to be a close friend. Otherwise it is the case that I`m not your friend, that I was deliberately used, and it is wrong headed of you to think otherwise. Should however you have been in a projective, schizo pointing, or otherwise for this moment at all compromised state of mind, even perhaps just a little possessed, then from what I already know of you there is no way of knowing by this methodology that I`m in fact not your good friend, and it would be most likely in my opinion that I indeeed still am. Most likely because it was me that you selected to go with you.

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In reply to an earlier post on 5 Feb 2012 10:55:41 GMT
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In reply to an earlier post on 6 Apr 2012 15:17:12 BDT
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In reply to an earlier post on 10 Apr 2012 08:35:41 BDT
Last edited by the author on 18 Apr 2012 08:42:00 BDT
Because she is my close friend and out of our togetherness of mind I have been working with her/I have been trying to bring her to a point of realisation that something may be wrong whilst going places of mind which I know to be acceptable to her. The passage of time during which I`ve been concerned is around three weeks now. Because I have some reservation now that this language which we`ve been sharing is a sufficiently powerful medium, I have more recently been instructing her directly. She is to see her doctor and reveal to him everything that has been her experience of mind. My fear for her is schizophrenia, but adult onset is less serious, and I`m hoping, if correct, that it may have been caught reasonably early. It should be noted that there are other symptomatic traits to be concerned about than those mentioned in this text.

Schizophrenia and associated conditions, such as paranoid schizophrenia and delusional disorder are collectively very common in young women. Ideally their best friends would have both sufficient knowledge about these and the social skills to help insure for them the best possible outcomes. Want of humility and ultimately rejection is often to be associated with a former friend`s suicide. This is just one other of numerous possible advantages in having older and more socially experienced friends. The facing in the direction of most happiness may also be at times the facing in the direction of significantly older men.

What have been your experiences in this regard. Have you for instance experienced a potential for greater or for less depth of friendship with an advancing disparity. In which respect, is it in your opinion possible for there to be too much disparity of years, or should this be a matter only to concern the actual disparity in individuals, whether much older, much younger, or indeed of the same years? One thing is very difficult to revoke though, that with each doubling of the years of acceptable disparity that there is also a doubling of the prospect of discovering that perfect empathetic match. Is it out of a genuine predisposition or prejudice, this is the question?

In reply to an earlier post on 22 Apr 2012 09:31:23 BDT
Last edited by the author on 22 Apr 2012 09:50:38 BDT
She loves my company for I am of all her friends the only one that she is comfortable to be with inside of her head, the only one besides her very family that puts her first always, and in everything. Then physically, she trains by my side even despite the constant showing, and in this same moment with always a new physical compliments for my ears, not to mention repeats of the old ones, she is most surely physically attracted. However age prejudice stretches its arm even further than this, it is absolute, making what is right thinking wrong and what is wrong thinking right. Fine, I agree with her that the package of romance and marriage might not be the most ideal for us, at least not when looking many years ahead, however, one doesn`t require any prejudice in order to work this one out, does one, surely common sense alone should suffice. In which regard just because a circumstance of respective ages is not ideal that doesn`t make it in any way shape or form debased. Had she in all of her twenty eight years of searching ever discovered somebody of her own years that would care for her as genuinely as I do now, and that she got on with as well, then she would in all probability be with him now, not me. Sometimes, and generally out of prejudice, when it comes to relationships, or indeed any other area of social philosophy, the answers are not found where they are expected/"known" to be.

THIS IS NOW ONCE AGAIN AN OPEN DEBATE
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