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Really Bad Music Jokes


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Showing 1-25 of 109 posts in this discussion
Initial post: 16 Oct 2011 16:51:10 BDT
Martin says:
What do you call a rock'n'roller who likes herbs?

Elvis Parsley.

Next........

Posted on 16 Oct 2011 17:13:07 BDT
RAB says:
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers.

Posted on 16 Oct 2011 18:12:14 BDT
Mondo Ray says:
I've got a Bonnie Tyler car - every now and then it falls apart...

Posted on 16 Oct 2011 18:48:42 BDT
Leftin says:
What do you get if you cross Justin Hayward with Alf Garnett?

The Bloody Moos!

Posted on 16 Oct 2011 19:00:30 BDT
Johnny Bee says:
Q. What do you call a guy that hangs around with a group of musicians?
A. A drummer

Posted on 16 Oct 2011 19:08:29 BDT
Last edited by the author on 16 Oct 2011 19:12:29 BDT
K.J.S. says:
What's the difference between a rock guitarist and a jazz guitarist?

A rock guitarist plays three chords in front of thousands of people.

Posted on 16 Oct 2011 19:15:11 BDT
Lez Lee says:
Meatloaf has changed his name - he's now the artist formerly known as Mince

In reply to an earlier post on 16 Oct 2011 19:35:07 BDT
Gordon Dent says:
Nick Mason's joke...

Little boy - Mummy, I want to be a drummer when I grow up.

Mother - Darling, don't be silly: you can't do both.

Posted on 16 Oct 2011 20:57:18 BDT
Johnny Bee says:
a drummer, sick of always being the brunt of the band's jokes decides to take up guitar in secret - he's got the cash to buy the best of gear, and how hard can it be anyway? He goes into a shop and asks for a top of the range Gibson Les Paul; Flying Vee; Gretsch Gentleman; Martin acoustic and a 5hit load of practice amps, effects pedals, strings etc, etc. The guy behind the counter shakes his head and says, "sorry son I'd like to help, but this is a fish and chip shop".

In reply to an earlier post on 16 Oct 2011 21:01:29 BDT
Martin says:
Caller to Ronnie Scott's club: What time does the show start tonight?

Ronnie Scott: What time can you make it?

In reply to an earlier post on 16 Oct 2011 21:03:04 BDT
Leftin says:
Very cruel, but funny! :)

That whole Drummer Man single (Tonight) took the rise out of Paradiddlers in '78.

Posted on 16 Oct 2011 21:04:09 BDT
BOF © says:
Three bloke are walking down the street
1, Father Christmas
2, A drummer who keeps time
3, A drummer who doesn't keep time
There's a fifty pound note on the floor, who picks it up?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
The drummer who doesn't keep time, the other two don't exist

best bones
B.O.F.

Posted on 16 Oct 2011 21:25:08 BDT
Q: What was the unofficial anthem of the British Leyland nightshift worker during the 80s?

A: Wake Me Up Before We Go Slow.

Posted on 16 Oct 2011 21:26:36 BDT
Last edited by the author on 17 Oct 2011 09:46:00 BDT
BOF © says:
Indian Drums
Two cowboys were waiting behind their wagon for the Indians to attack. They listened to the distant pounding war drums.
One cowboy muttered to the other, "I don't like the sound of them drums."
Just then, an Indian voice came over the hill, "It's not our usual drummer!"
best bones
B.O.F.

Posted on 16 Oct 2011 21:27:42 BDT
BOF © says:
One Liners:
* If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum. - Ancient Proverb

* Oxymorons: Drum Music

* So many drummers, so little time.

* Overheard: "Will the musicians please come to the stage. Oh, and the drummer too.

best bones
B.O.F.

In reply to an earlier post on 16 Oct 2011 23:30:49 BDT
Martin says:
What did Michael Jackson say to his annoying drummer?

Get Lost.

Posted on 17 Oct 2011 08:40:11 BDT
S.R.J says:
One for Cornish-
What did the Deadhead say when he ran out of pot? - "God almighty , this music really sucks"
S.R.J

Posted on 17 Oct 2011 09:40:52 BDT
nocheese says:
Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I'm Tom Jones. Is that normal?

Doctor: Well, it's not unusual.

Posted on 17 Oct 2011 09:53:13 BDT
RAB says:
Studies have shown an increase in the variety of herbs used in cooking.

They say the Thymes They Are A-Changing.

Posted on 17 Oct 2011 10:06:15 BDT
Post Soviet says:
Bob Dylan was recently diagnosed as megalomaniac, after been caught up mumbling for hours: 'I am Chris de Burgh, I am Chris de Burgh, I...........'

Posted on 17 Oct 2011 10:17:39 BDT
Huck Flynn says:
What's the difference between a drummer and a chiropodist?

A chiropodist generally bucks up the feet.

In reply to an earlier post on 17 Oct 2011 12:00:10 BDT
Martin says:
What do you call an irritating overrated bleached blonde American female electro-pop singer who likes fruit?

Britney Pears.

In reply to an earlier post on 17 Oct 2011 12:05:17 BDT
Three of the biggest 80's bands are getting together to form a Super Group.
They are Bad Manners, Shakatak and Earth, Wind & Fire.
They'll be known as A Bad Attack of Wind.

In reply to an earlier post on 17 Oct 2011 12:11:11 BDT
Last edited by the author on 17 Oct 2011 12:12:15 BDT
Martin says:
And on a similar note, Chris Rea and Dire Straits get together to form...................Chris Straits.

In reply to an earlier post on 17 Oct 2011 22:39:35 BDT
Last edited by the author on 17 Oct 2011 22:39:59 BDT
Martin says:
Alan Titmarsh's musical guest today was Chris de Burgh - surely some producer's idea of a joke.
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This discussion

Discussion in:  music discussion forum
Participants:  36
Total posts:  109
Initial post:  16 Oct 2011
Latest post:  18 Apr 2014

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