Fantasy does not need to be serious

My car has a wooden steering wheel... mind you, it has wooden wheels too, and a wooden engine that runs on coal... 1 use only engine, cos it burns out easily, then you make a new one and put it in... marvelous technology we have in Scotland !

What shape are the wheels, Nightwing?

Well, you know, errr, the usual shape, square, like everyone elses... surely you have seen wheels before

I was worried that they might be those newfangled triangular monstrosities.
Hate those.There's even talk that they might bring in round ones. But, even if they do, they'll never catch on.

I have heard of these rumours. There is also one that says they are trying to put rubber around them. That would be just stupid, though, they would be all bouncy and uncomfortable. No, it's square ones for me all the way. and i will stick to my bucket seat too, even though i need to use it for the coal sometimes

Gaspar The Thief

This is a new humorous fantasy adventure by British author, David A. Lindsay.

Follow the adventures of Gaspar, a freelance thief who stubbornly refuses to join the Thieves' Guild. Finding himself entangled in a series of mishaps and misfortunes mostly of his own making, and facing looming retribution from every quarter, he finally departs his native city.

Aided by Hubris, a seller of spells who similarly declines to pay his dues to Wizards' Hall, and Marna, a feisty thiefess with a quick tongue and a quicker temper, Gaspar hopes to lie low for a while, but events continue to go awry, leading from one catastrophe to the next in quick succession.

Brigands, sells-swords, goblin warlords, mages and even a tricksy wight all seem to have it in for him as he travels across the world of Lindor, stumbling from one calamity to the next, and yet somehow always surviving to tell the tale.

Told with humour, this is an exciting romp based in a fantasy world where anything can, and does, happen!

Havn't we seen this exact thing on here a little while ago David? Please don't just cut and paste the same old thing all the time, give us some input... new stuff... thank you muchly

perhaps it's a subtle existentially jest, with a deep hidden message and a strong anarchistic undertow that points,inevitably, to the futility of life, the meaningless of all things and the fact, that actually, he hadn't read the thread ;-)

Nightwing,

Rubber?!
I've never seen rubber because I know that kids of people who look at rubber are born with rickets.
I drive blindfolded anyhow, of course, but lots of people can't for various reasons and that means that the world will overrun by rickety children.
What are they thinking of, I ask myself.

Ah, Mira, sadly it is the same with this stuff they call "plastic". In the far North, from whence i come, we hjave heard strange telling's about this "plastic". For example: it is said that the rich, who preside in the efluent South, have many of these "plastics" fitted to their bodies through the means of surgery. Now, please correct me if i am wrong, but surely that would mean they could no longer sit by the fire on a cold winters' evening, for fear that they would melt. I have also seen pictures of rich women who have had enormous plastic lips stuck to their faces, this urge to look like a duck as all rather strange to me

And blindfolded is the only way to drive... i recomend it to everyone... after all taxi drivers and bus drivers have been doing it for years

Nightwing,

That body plastic - I've always thought that was some sort of a plot between the census office and HMRC. Once people reach certain age and income level all men have to look like Barry Manilow and all women like bathtub ducks.

Yeh, I mean, round wheels? How would you stop it.

Look, I don't mean to be rude but barging in and dumping a promo without so much as a hello is a bit steep. Nobody minds a promo but if you read any of it you'd notice that the way this thread tends to work is that people talk to one another, or about their books. So the reason we ignored your last three ads about Gaspar The Thief, is because you never so much as said hello. Some of us even have you on ignore.

Shouting the same thing at us louder and louder each time is just going to annoy us. Can I suggest you join in or assume that we have read your numerous drive by's and stop posting them.

It's people behaving like you that are making it impossible for people like me to sell books.

Thank you.

MTM

[Deleted by the author on 19 May 2012 11:39:48 BDT]

Well, exactly, MTM

Unthinkable.

Unless it's a part of a job creation scheme. They may be planning to line up so many individuals per mile to throw spanners into the works.

Phnark! Actually, he has started a conversation somewhere on dot com and I assume he reads that so I'm afraid I've done this.

http://www.amazon.com/forum/meet%20our%20authors/ref=cm_cd_et_up_redir?_encoding=UTF8&cdForum=Fx2UYC1FC06SU8S&cdPage=1&cdSort=oldest&cdThread=Tx3U2JF7CKANQ6W&newContentID=Mx2NU0186ZA7XRB#Mx2NU0186ZA7XRB

I probably shouldn't have but I'm beginning to think that if I read the words Gaspar The Thief one more time I may have to blind myself.

Cheers

MTM

@ everybody...
Following MTM's little excursion into another thread to have a little rant... i had one of my own... same thread as MTM went to, so follow her link to go see what i said.
MTM please don't blind yourself, you need your eyes to write your next book. Try dissembowling yourself instead, and just don't look at the "Gasper" word if it appears

You did it much better than me Nightwing. I'm getting very irritated with this kind of thing because I'm self published and I'm getting tarred with the same shiatey brush as these people.

Cheers

MTM

You did it much better than me Nightwing. I'm getting very irritated with this kind of thing because I'm self published, I like to think I'm reasonably well behaved and I'm getting tarred with the same bollocksy brush as these people. I think we could say the worm has turned. I shall be having a little rantette about it on my blog this week and by the way Will, I can't get a wordpress blog to look nice so I've mirrored it. I should probably try to get it fed into my site somewhow and then do it all from the blog but it will show on Hamgee.co.uk I'll have to work on that one.

Cheers

MTM

Cheers

MTM

MTM, thanks for telling me i did it much better than you "TWICE". I rather like to think my rants can be of the "inventive" kind, and being Scottish helps... we are good at it! And even if you are self-published, it doesn't show, so you must hide it very well indeed... well done that woman ! ! !

I totally agree with what you both said but I'm afraid it will be ignored... and more and more authors are going on my ignore list for the same behaviour. I wish there was some way of sending these people a private message to let them know how annoying they are. It just makes me more grateful for the ones who do stop and chat.

We shall deal with them as they appear. They will soon get the idea that what they are doing is seriously distasteful.
And now on a light note.... lamps, torches, bulbs

Amazon told me it had not posted my first post because it contained obscene content so I did it again... Re the spamming, that is where the fact that Amazon's forum is different to just about every single other one out there acts to the detriment of all.

There ought to be a sticky at the top of every section just explaining that endless spamming is not a very sensible thing to do.

Ginger, I haven't put him on ignore in case he replies... you never know, he might come and say hello. I'm sure he's just naieve and new to this but while I would never say never, as things stand, I can't see myself ever buying his book.

Cheers

MTM

I won't put him on ignore, because i am nosey, and want to see if he keeps turning up. Then we can all laugh ( as long as we don't say rudies )

|To my amazement, i have writen the first chapter of my third book.... whoopee *^&$^%&*£&^R%$^*%*)()*&*

Cool! I think mine's back on track now, too. That's why I've been around today, on the computer (but with frequent interruptions) writing.

Cheers

MTM