Promo - Woud anyone like to reed are books?

I know, it's a dangerous game inviting you into this thread to slam my bad spelling and seemingly poor grasp of the English language only to tell you I'm joking. I don't even know why I did it. I'm just in that kind of mood today: slightly euphoric with a touch of instability.

There's so much on the forum at the moment about poorly produced self-published books I thought I'd do something on that. I'm not going to argue for or against as we could be here forever, I just thought I'd let a passage of my book speak for itself:

"The static from are radio that lost it's setting again opens my eyes at six thirty already. Its nearly dawn and I was awake all night and I need a cigaret and I can hear a train go past and my name is Kevin and I need to work out what is happeningin my life that makes me wander were my life ie going perhaps."

Ok, I'm still joking. Your patience is probably wearing thin, so here we go:

"Don and Katy watched hypnotically Gino place more coffees out..."

Stop it, stop it, stop it. Here's the real text:

"I'm woken by a sharp snarl of static. The alarm clock has lost its radio setting again. I open my eyes into a dim half-light and a crackling storm. It's six thirty already. I still have my clothes on from my erratic nightly prowls around the house and the rivet in my jeans has scored a shallow hole into my right hip. I hang my head out the bathroom window and light a cigarette, an old habit from the baby's first few months. At precisely the same moment the mail train thunders by in the cold morning."

This is the opening to my story 'The Anarchist' which is, I guess, about the persecution of a family because of their race. It's from Oblivious which is a collection of twenty one short stories set in or around Liverpool. And believe me when I say I've read over the serious bits of this post to check for typos so many times my eyes are starting to bleed... :o)

Forgetting my shameless self-promotion for a minute, I know there are bad self-published books out there. I've also read some fantastic ones this year which you can check out in my reviews if you click on my username. If you're looking for something to restore your faith in the independent market, I can recommend any and all of these guys. You don't have to buy mine, buy one of theirs instead..

Neil

Wow, voted down 3 times in 5 minutes, that's got to be a new record :o)

My hat is off to you for an original and daring approach towards self-promotion, Cuban. :)

Thanks Cornelius. I just thought it might be funny. But maybe not. Ah well, not the first time I've tried to crack a joke and the response has been tumbleweed and the distant sound of howling dogs on the wind... It's probably a good job I don't write comedy :o)

The last time I felt like this was the day I tried to read The Da Vinci Code....I need more wine......

Hmmm... looks interesting, and the thread title gave me a laugh. You forgot to mention that it's FREAKING CHEAP!!!

Wishlisted.

Works for me - I've bought your book. I love a good short story.

I think it's amusing :o)

I've just finished reading it and its EXCELLENT.

I think it's amusing that people can vote that an original post does not "add" to the discussion. Surely it IS the discussion?

I think they're saying that they think the discussion doesn't add to the forum, but there is no button to say that. Its the attack of the promo-haters!

I guess so. I don't see a problem with the post. At least it is clearly marked that it is a promo and if people don't like that, they shouldn't read it at all.

Neil - I will give your book a try. It might even become the second "paid for" book on my Kindle!

"All your base are belong to us"

James

Ah! I see my alternate personalities are showing up....

No, you're MY alternatve personality...!

Neil, couldn't read the opening chapter from The Anarchist without wanting more. Have just bought your book. I love it when the author actually takes you into the story rather than just having you sit and read it. Thanks for the self-promo because, without it, I wouldn't have known that you write - just that you were/are Cuban Heel. And, from the way you have written your OP, there will be no need to constantly bump your stuff - your writing will speak for itself. Thank you.

Good god, 14 'no' votes on the OP and 13 on his follow up! Has the 'no' idiot opened up multiple accounts or are 'they' growing. (in numbers obviously, not mental age)

Sod it, I'm downloading (no promises on when I'll get around to actually reading it mind) just to annoy the 'no' voters. (sudden thought :- it's not you is it Cuban Heel? Just to get me to buy it?) ;)

And for the record it was NOT me and my 11 alternate personalities! I would have voted yes rather than no...

It's prob. the same troll entering the discussion ....over and over ...and over again and voting multiple times, which is obviously more fun than ....say ...playing golf?
These forums are like a huge Big Brother house...

Well done Cuban Heel, I enjoyed reading your promo - I did get a bit worried when I read your first "extract", was relieved to find that it wasn't your usual reading style! :0)

Shows how much attention I pay to them. I thought once you'd cast your vote you couldn't do it again.

Edit :- that makes the person doing it even more strange doesn't it?

I've just tested that theory, by going and voting yes for a second time, but the votes haven't registered. So there are a few people who are hiding behind their computers without the courage to express their conviction personally. The best way to deal with it is to ignore them altogether (but voting the post up if you agree with it so that it doesn't get hidden), because to keep making comment about it must boost their puny egos.

Kew, yes, it did occur to me that some people may start reading that and stop right there in disgust which would obviously not be a good thing :o$

Colin, no, it wasn't me voting it down. I'd say "but that's not a bad idea..." except I'm not a glutton for punishment, I think maybe my sense of humour should go back in its hole now. I seriously don't think I've ever upset so many people in one go in my life before. I don't think you can vote more than once either by the way, so it must be 14 distinct people I'll never get a christmas card from now...

It's a pity really...because having a show down would be more fun..........and think of all the time they waste voting...instead of just writing a remark.
I admit that with two posters on here I have to actively tell my fingers not to write what I really want to say to them...I try to be polite instead......and low and behold that method seems to have paid off...they hardly post anymore...then again they are prob. to busy voting to post..

@Cuban...Xmas cards are overrated.. ;0)