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Help me before I smash up my blender


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Showing 1-23 of 23 posts in this discussion
Initial post: 21 Aug 2012 23:19:25 BDT
A customer says:
My Travels around Europe have now taken me to Portugal.

I'm staying in a georgous villa, has wireless, a pool a massive kitchen, it's close to a local market that sells lots of meats and spices, a nice strip joint and a football team who are playing a home game the night before I move on to Algeria.

The problem is this: Right outside the window is a bloody cricket. chirrpchirppchirppchirppchirpp! IT'S DRIVING ME BONKERS
I CAN'T SLEEP SO I'M TOO TIRED TO COOK THE NEXT MORNING.

It starts at about 10pm and goes on NON STOP till 4/5 in the morning.
I've been out and shook the small tree its in. I've sprayed water all over it and nothing makes the little b'stard fall out or go away. He shuts up for 10 seconds and he's off again.

Anyone know how to make the poxy thing fly away...I can't set fire to the bush or I'll be in trouble

Posted on 22 Aug 2012 00:35:31 BDT
C. Smith says:
That's Portugal... I suppose there must be a trick, but failing the magic cure, try ear defenders or headphones and light music..

In reply to an earlier post on 22 Aug 2012 02:52:04 BDT
Cricket Bat ?

In reply to an earlier post on 22 Aug 2012 07:04:45 BDT
Crickets? I'm stumped.

Posted on 22 Aug 2012 11:39:30 BDT
Completely bowled out, Sam?

Posted on 22 Aug 2012 11:58:42 BDT
No don't set fire too your bush just tell the Algerian Cricket team that you are Colin Crompton and turn the wireless up to full volume.

Posted on 22 Aug 2012 12:54:31 BDT
wobberoo says:
Oh, aren't you all such wags! I'm creased up!!

Posted on 22 Aug 2012 13:06:26 BDT
Reflective says:
Try spraying the bush with sun tan oil!

In reply to an earlier post on 22 Aug 2012 14:19:05 BDT
Or hairspray? - firm hold? - that'll bring the little pest to a quick standstill!!!

Posted on 22 Aug 2012 14:52:36 BDT
A customer says:
I followed instructions for a humane trap from the internet: It didn't work, sadly
Another sleepless night tonight, I bet

In reply to an earlier post on 22 Aug 2012 14:56:35 BDT
Pour some alcohol over the bush?
Perhaps if it gets really drunk, it may forget the words to the song!

Posted on 22 Aug 2012 15:00:07 BDT
A customer says:
yeah, but if this drunk little chripper finaly pulls, he'll have brewers droop and I'll be back to square 1 the next night

In reply to an earlier post on 22 Aug 2012 15:49:05 BDT
HA HA HA!!!
You'll have to keep him permanently piddled then! Happy Hour for crickets all day long!!! ;o>

Posted on 22 Aug 2012 16:45:22 BDT
Last edited by the author on 22 Aug 2012 20:34:19 BDT
Yep, it's a cricket. You need an extra large tin of 'bug' spray. One for creepy crawlies (rastejantes) Lidl do one that's cheap. Then make sure you know exactly where the noise is coming from, and blast the area until the whole tin is gone. Crickets are usually hiding in a a pipe or tube or hole in the ground, so it's unlikely to be up a tree. Happy Hunting.
Look to see if there are any drainage tubes to take excess rain water away. They are often only half inch in diameter, ideal for a cricket to hide in. They may be on the edge of a balcony, or edge of a terrace.

In reply to an earlier post on 22 Aug 2012 16:47:27 BDT
Perhaps your little friend and kitchen helper could be hired out to find it, happy?

In reply to an earlier post on 22 Aug 2012 16:49:01 BDT
I expect he'd eat it. He's eating everything else he can get his teeth into. Mind you he's fussy, completely ignores the rat bait!

In reply to an earlier post on 22 Aug 2012 16:51:11 BDT
Well Lord wants it gone! and you'll get a new home for your furry friend too!
Have you tried some cat food laced with bait? x

In reply to an earlier post on 22 Aug 2012 16:59:46 BDT
So far I've only served it up straight. Perhaps it doesn't like ready meals. I'll try it with cat food. I always keep a couple of tins in to feed the visiting hedgehogs in the garden. I think I might try buying a humane trap. The spring loaded ones don't work. I tied the bait on with cotton, maanged to catch my fingers a couple of times, but the mouse is so small it can eat the bait without springing the trap. I'm beginning to get opposition from the family, they think it's 'cute'. I'm beginning to think there's more than one, either that or I'm getting double vision. Course that could be the wine !

In reply to an earlier post on 22 Aug 2012 17:51:08 BDT
Last edited by the author on 9 Sep 2012 00:59:56 BDT
I must admit, happy, I am definitely a live and let live kind of person myself! I even rescue half drowned flies out of coffee cups! - sad yet true! - and I wasn't very keen on the idea of you using Rat Bait!

But how do you catch it? Well, have you tried having a bowl of something yummy on the floor for it to eat and waiting with a box or a colander?!! - staying stood still for about 5 hours should probably do it?!?!?!?!

I catch ours with catfood, then take them to the farm fields across the road from us and release them. If you just put it out in the garden, it'll be straight back in, you know!.....with the door locked shut and it's feet up in front of the TV, and with a lovely biscuit and a brew - whilst you bang helplessly on the windows demanding to be let back in yourself!!! HA HA HA!!! - LOL!!! :o>

In reply to an earlier post on 22 Aug 2012 19:50:10 BDT
Last edited by the author on 22 Aug 2012 22:40:51 BDT
I'm like you. I don't like having to kill them. Last winter we had a mouse for several weeks. It lived behind the wood stack in the sitting room. Every evening this tiny mouse would appear and stretch out on top of the logs, leaning against the fire place soaking up the warmth. I finally caught him in a cereal packet in late March and took it to the far end of the road and let it go. The whole family compained. What if it was cold, what about if it rained? Not to mention the entertainment they'd had watching it every evening.

Posted on 22 Aug 2012 21:05:32 BDT
wobberoo says:
I'm so generous towards the bugs, and insects, I have become quite the host.

In reply to an earlier post on 22 Aug 2012 23:03:18 BDT
A customer says:
Hi happy..it's most definately a bush...I didn't want to kill him tho'

In reply to an earlier post on 23 Aug 2012 00:05:12 BDT
Last edited by the author on 23 Aug 2012 00:07:04 BDT
Book Addict says:
For Happy:
Small roddenty friends (or fiends) love anything sticky! Things like chocolate spread are good and they will go nuts for peanut butter but be careful as peanuts will counter-act any poisons or killer you put down. Homebase, B+Q, Tescos and the like all do humane traps but it won't keep them away for long.... Good luck!!
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Discussion in:  cooking discussion forum
Participants:  9
Total posts:  23
Initial post:  21 Aug 2012
Latest post:  23 Aug 2012

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