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(Auto) biogs about sportsmen, pop stars, celebs etc WTF???

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Initial post: 1 Jul 2009 12:50:29 BDT
Last edited by the author on 1 Jul 2009 12:51:53 BDT
Nugent Dirt says:
I'm genuinly interested to know why people read biogs of people like spud faced nipper (aka Wayne Rooney), Lewis Hamilton, Ashely Cole, Michael Atherton, Jordan, Bozo etc. For one a lot of these people have just about started their careers so what have they achieved that can fill a book? Secondly a lot of their lives are pretty unexceptional even though they may be very good at their chosen careers. Thirdly a lot them seem to be a load of 'look at me arent I great' toot. I like to read a good biog but only about people who've really achieved something, often at great personal expense, or who've lived extraordinary lives. They dont have to be famous just not mundane.
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Posted on 9 Jul 2009 17:05:56 BDT
abso-F'ing-lutely. Some pre-pubescent git with a made-up sob story goes on Brits got XXXX talent...wins with a stomach-turning rendition of a song that was shi& in the first place, then with help from some jaded word-whore of a hack produces, just in time for f*$£ing christmas a book..about their f&*%ing life for godsakes.....while noone, not a single one gives a monkey's to££ about my day-to-day dramas and heroic battle against overwhelming odds every f&*%^ing day....
WTF indeed....noone without grey hair (or bald) should be allowed the honour of a book about 'em.

what about bloo%£y criminals and hard cases of various sorts....oh God I am out of here.

In reply to an earlier post on 11 Jul 2009 17:20:14 BDT
And I'm genuinely interested to know why we should care what you think.
Have you done anything with your life that anyone might want to read about?
The celebs you are griping about are not really mundane (fake or manufactured maybe, but certainly famous)...that's why people want to read about them.
Ever wondered why 'Hello' and the like sell by the van-load?

Posted on 11 Jul 2009 17:48:00 BDT
Last edited by the author on 11 Jul 2009 18:33:50 BDT
Thank you Mr Whitaker - I am, as you politely point out one of lifes little people: a backroom boy, one of those mentioned last or even left off the list when true celebs are generously sharing gratitude as they accept a prize for some more of their fine work. I can barely kick a ball let alone hold a tune...I faff about bringing up four kids as best I can, I trained as a doc for 10 or so years and have spent 15 years in fulltime nhs practice as a consultant psychiatrist in a deprived area - I have recieved death threats, been sprayed with petrol, listened to millions of heart-crushing stories....thanks for asking by the way.
Any book I could write would be of little significance compared with some fourteen year old who has squeaked out a lousy cover version of a song they barely understand, and with the help of a fine journalist produced an 'autobiography'.
If someone has managed to struggle by on a few hundred thousand a week kicking a ball about then of course they deserve, nay demand the honour of having a nameless ghost-writer turn their muttered or scratched lies about their lives into a work of high literary merit.
Yes you are right Mr Whitaker - may I join you groveling before the Idol Fame - because what higher purpose could any human being possibly aspire to but to be...ah...Famous.
Yes I have often paused to ponder why 'Hello' sells - thanks for explaining it - clearly if lots of people want to read about famous peoples diets, faked relationship problems and drug abuse - then this must be a good thing, that should be encouraged not mocked.
You know what - you Mr Whitaker - have changed me. I am off to the shop to buy Heat and a few other celeb gossip mags to keep me going until Big Brother comes on. I am sure by your tone of unquestioning devotion to the God Fame that you are glued to the screen, fascinated by every twist and turn in the relationships between those fine examples of the human species the BB House-mates.
I guess you have been weeping for the departed MJ, having only barely managed to come to terms with the loss of our People's Princess...and I dare say you lose sleep over the state of Kate and Pete's marriage, and wonder if Jen and Brad can somehow find a way to get back together. And while we are at it lets raise a glass and cheer the great Madonna for her selfless kindness and completely non-self-indulgent act of adopting children from the starving wastelands.
As to your 'genuine interest in why we (whos we?) should care what' I think - well of course not but isn't the idea of these forums that grubby bitter little non-entities like ourselves can exchange our meaningless pointless opinions about the Gods ?
Why have you joined in?
Why waste time communicating with non-famous when you could be feasting your beady little eyes on a gossip rag or BB TV ? Why are you genuinely interested enough to want to comment and ask your question - its a paradox ah actually do you know what ?
I have had enough of you - lets sort this one out i the car park right now..ok?

In reply to an earlier post on 11 Jul 2009 18:21:22 BDT
come come out wherever you are..............put down your copy of Hello,,,or Celeb Trash Weekly or whatever you are reading.....move away from the TV and try to take your mind off the housemates.....come out and fight Mr 'I love all the famous peole because they are all just so great' Whitaker.....come out and...if you don't I shall make up an even pithier and more hilarious nick-name for you....

In reply to an earlier post on 11 Jul 2009 19:53:18 BDT
Last edited by the author on 11 Jul 2009 20:22:51 BDT
Collette says:
well said k o '73.....apart from the last line maybe...

s m whittaker you're talking a lot of sh!!!t mate. i think you need to get a life...also i doubt very much that n d or k o '73'll lose any sleep over what you've just spouted.

actually i've only read 1 or 2 biographies, one of which was michael j fox's. i quite enjoyed it...humbling and rather sad in places (his fight against parkinsons disease etc) especially when you remember he's only still in his 40s.

i also have zero interest in people like jordan, wayne rooney, etc.... and i'd never dream of buying a cr*ppy magazine like Heat (page after page of plastic 'celebs' - waste of a bloody £1 if you ask me). i think that i've got more to be worrying about in the REAL world.

In reply to an earlier post on 11 Jul 2009 20:13:39 BDT
hypergod says:
KO73, do you really expect him to reply after the masterful assassination you just did on his 'thoughts'? I applaud you, and I for one would be interested to read your autobiography; with the talent you display in that post (and others) I imagine it would be caustic, irreverent and gripping. By the way, much as I abhor violence, in this case I'll hold your coat if you like!

In reply to an earlier post on 11 Jul 2009 21:40:47 BDT
I am moved - sorry it was a bit of a rant : I have to confess I (like Michael Macintyre) tend to sound a bit less than threatening when I say to blokes in pubs 'outside now' - in fact it leads to misunderstandings about what exactly is being suggested.
Oh God my pathetic rant was driven by jealousy......I want to be Peter Andre... (not really). Quick musical suggestion to cheer meself up - I urge a listen to Julian Cope fine song : 'all the blowin-themslves-up-motherf%$£ers (will realise when they are deads that they were suckers)' - its set to a catchy bouncy singalong tune...brilliant. Followed by the Austin Lounge Lizards 'Jesus loves me (but he can't stand you)' ah...thats much better the blood pressure is going back to normal...and to conclude a gentle country sermon from Neil Innes age of desperation.....'maybe he's wrong but he means what he says' sing the backing singers and with that I am cured.

In reply to an earlier post on 12 Jul 2009 20:23:52 BDT
DavyA says:
In response to the original post - I have read the Michael Atherton biography & to be fair, it's a retrospective of his cricket playing career & was written at the end of said career.. As captain of England & a seasoned pro, there was alot of interesting, intelligent & well written stuff in the pages of that particular book. I have to admit that I would only buy a sporting biog if that person had retired from the sport they had achieved in. Those sporting celebs that bring out a biog when they have been in the spotlight for a short period of time or before the end of their career (so we just know an updated version will be coming out at some stage) don't normally have alot to say.
As for those "celebrity" biogs - not my cup of tea. I have to agree some of the "celebs" who are subject to biogs etc are often famous just for being famous ,not for contributing anything or being in posession of genuine talent But hey, you pays your money you take your choice I suppose (although I do have a tendency to agree with Nugent Dirt's original point !!)

Posted on 18 Jul 2009 23:35:51 BDT
TheFoe says:
Nungent Dirt, first thanks for this thread, I think youv'e made knocked out '73 a star with his amusing ranting and raving. Secondly a thorougly interesting read is Billy MacKenzie's biography The Glamour chase. In some parts funny and others moving, this book highlights The Associates singer's life in an informative but laid back way. With the risk of sounding American, by the time you finish the book a sense of sadness touches you, as you wish this young man was still alive.

In reply to an earlier post on 23 Jul 2009 09:28:38 BDT
Nugent Dirt says:
This is a forum about sharing opinions etc. You totally miss the point dont you. It's not about sportsmen and rock stars who've had a full and interesting life whove. had autobiogs out at the END of their careers but those who arent even half way through theirs and professional celebs who havent achieved anything substantial. As if happens there's been quite a lot of things I've done and that have happened to me that do interest people not that I'd ever be bothered to write about it.

Posted on 26 Jul 2009 04:30:02 BDT
The best sports "auto" biography I've read is Brett Hart the WWE wrestler. At least it was his own work as he carried a tape recorder with him for many years.

However, the best I've read was by a WW1 veteran, Albert Facey. An amazing book. He kept hand written diaries in old school books all his life. His daughter (I think) arranged to have them edited and published. An ordinary bloke who led the most extra-ordinary life.

Most of these books are full of pap and ghost written and generally pretty bad. Wayne Rooney and the like should have waited until he had finished his career.

Bobby Charlton's and Denis Law's are good too.

I'd love to read Dave Brock's and Nik Turner's from Hawkwind. They'ed be too bizarre for credence.

I wish my Dad would write one. He has led an amazing life.

In reply to an earlier post on 26 Jul 2009 11:58:29 BDT
hypergod says:
Sam, talk to him, record him and YOU write it! Too many 'ordinary' people take extrordinary stories to their graves with them. It's up to you, do something about it!

In reply to an earlier post on 29 Jul 2009 02:41:42 BDT
[Deleted by Amazon on 30 Mar 2012 06:14:06 BDT]

In reply to an earlier post on 4 Aug 2009 17:58:11 BDT
Woofit says:
Read 'Falling And Laughing-The Restoration Of Edwyn Collins' by Grace Maxwell and this will answer all your questions and doubts. It and they, Grace and Edwyn, are exceptional as they battle back from a debilitating stroke.

Posted on 5 Aug 2009 19:46:22 BDT
N. Cawsey says:
The best 'set' of biography I have read has been Dirk Bogarde, from 'A Postillion Struck by Lightening' ( his childhood) to 'A Short Walk to Harrods' (old age and retirement). Liked all of the ones in between too but the first and the last, they were wonderful.

Posted on 7 Aug 2009 22:37:49 BDT
In my entire twenty nine years on this planet I have only found auto-biogs worth their salt - Charles Chaplin's bio and that of Jim Hutton, Freddie Mercury's final partner. Yeah, I know it sounds like a cheap cash in, but it is written in such an understated, genuinely loving and reverential way.

In reply to an earlier post on 21 Aug 2009 19:03:13 BDT
Last edited by the author on 21 Aug 2009 19:24:44 BDT
prana Dblake says:
I have appeared on BB TV and it was the most edited, farcical staged contrived piece of pot-boiling, meretricious drivel I have ever encountered in my forty years on the planet .

The producers are actually the people who decide not the public. The producers are like most of the people who do well on the show - egocentric and have an unhealthy love of power and money and this is message that is pushed.

The irony is if there was not so much interference and machinations on the programme it would be a good insight into human nature however it is a good money spinner for the tabloids and launches the careers of some of the most arrogant, ignorant and self-centred individuals to walk the face of the earth.

There have been five biographies written by the people who were on the programme with me and they are all under thirty and surprisingly they have spent all their entire lives involved in thinking about themselves, doing everything for themselves and have chosen ignorance and arrogance as a way of life.

Within two hours of meeting people on the BB programme including the production team I learnt every single detail of their lives ( enough to write biographies) and all following conversations were simply variations of the same accounts with added embellishments, faked emotions and worse still repeated verbatim accounts of the initial conversations - as if they had alzheimers or amnesia .

Their lives were only extraordinary by their misguided opinions that they are themselves unique and worthy of attention. I have met may ordinary people whose lives are ten times more interesting than their own. However these ordinary fork or media plebeians will never garner media attention as they are simply not sexy enough physically or metaphorically for a journalist to waste their time on - unless they break the law or upset a tabloid hack.

My mother is in her sixties yet was discussing who was worse Kerry Katona or Jordan because she had read some comparative article in the tabloids. I told her that she was brain washed as she does not know or care about women in 'real-life' of that age and her interest is solely catalysed by tabloid journalists and is extrinsic to her own desires, beliefs and psychology. She thought about and said "I suppose it is, but what else is there to read".

The problem with the age of 'celeb' is people consider you a success and having made something with your life if you are in the public eye.

I met a fellow BB contestant who is now a nurse and the media and star-obsessed public consider her a failure - using this logic renders the profession of nursing as a last resort option for no-mark failures. Yet the same people would consider that Jade Goody, Kerry and Jordan had made something of their lives because they are/were millionaires and appear in tabloids.

The logic is- if ordinary people need your help and you work with them on a daily basis; even if your career is altruistic - you are a no-mark, non-entity and a failure of the worst kind.

However if your career consists of you - talking about yourself as if you have a God complex and your life is a Bacchanalian orgy of hedonism and misplaced vanity - you are a credit to society and have done well.

In BB I observed the popular ones were obsessed with sex as if they had invented intercourse and the producers and press were equally obsessed with them too - the educated media having an unnatural desire for people to have sex on TV , or favouring those who revealed their genitalia or breasts.

I read loads of biographies and I am not jealous of anyone's success but I cannot understand why a twenty- three year old who has only been conscious of other people's existence on the planet for a year and a half would have the inclination to write a biography when their life is actually sub-ordinary.

Everyone has relationships or has good times or bad- press popularity does not make life exclusive to anyone.

I would also add that many people on BB including the production team and press were incapable of listening to any information that does not personally benefit them- like most narcissistic people. Hence when people like this write biographies their books are boring and not memorable - hence they end up writing another six before they are dead . As the fake celebs they create chaos out of the mundane or trivial incidences that most people deal with on a daily basis.

If you remove the hyperbole, melodrama and hysterics most of these 'new fake celeb autobiographies' are not presenting the public with novel, new or interesting material. Unless Jordan's head spun around and she spewed bile, grew horns and received another commandment from God after her split from Peter.

This woman has simply had a marriage break-up like millions on the planet ( it is not worthy of yet another 'ghost written' book).
I do not have an inferiority complex so I am no more interested in Ms Price than the woman across the street- who is going through a divorce under more difficult circumstances. Yet the woman across the street ironically spends more time reading about Katie Price's kids future than thinking about her own offspring.

In reply to an earlier post on 21 Aug 2009 19:22:55 BDT
Last edited by the author on 21 Aug 2009 19:23:57 BDT
prana Dblake says:
I have read Dirk Bogarde's biography and it is brilliant. My favourites are Diana Dors, Walt Disney's and the Kenneth Williams' diaries. I get many of them from Amazon and found this blog while looking for books on Benny Hill, Frankie Howerd, Terry Thomas and Brian Clough.

I am not saying Jordan will not write an interesting biography but it will be in another ten-twenty years if she is around.

.I had a lecturer at university who used to say when referring to journal articles " Publish something when it is special, different and worthy of reading- don't publish your shopping list".

While he was citing academic journal articles -the same can be said about biographies. I understand why the celebs do it - they get money, sympathy and press coverage. But these books are have no more facts and information than the average shopping list.

The best biography I have read in the last three months is Eddie Large's and if had been writing one every two years - I would never have picked it up.

Posted on 1 Sep 2009 01:25:22 BDT
G. Lyon says:
Does Robert Graves' autobiography 'Goodbye to All That' count as celebrity?

Posted on 1 Sep 2009 09:53:14 BDT
Whilst I hate the celebrity lifestyles magazines and everything that surrounds "we must worship you and consider your opinion vital" journalism; I pity the poor sods that actually believe that such tripe has value!

But, I do enjoy reading biographies about people that interest me - probably because (as I have said on another thread) I cannot remember the last time I read an "original" novel. Unfortunately literature appears to have gone the same way as television, find a theme and repeat it to death until the brainwashed public cannot live without it - almost creating an addiction! (Yes, I strongly dislike a minimum of 80% of television programmes).

To some extent we have all become the victims of mass consumerism, and I include myself in that (regrettably). I would say make up your own mind as to what (auto)biographies you wish to read - just be careful as there is a great deal of consumer dross out there waiting to trap your cash!

"Be careful how you speak of us
Take no man's name in vain
Someday we are bound to meet"

In reply to an earlier post on 4 Sep 2009 10:55:38 BDT
Frik Larssen says:
Strangeland by Tracey Emin. Astounding, brutal, brilliant prose. I can't rave enough about this book. Can be gruesome and was really not what I was expecting.. it's much better than i ever thought it would be. Never thought she was a genius before, but I'm now converted. A must read, even if you weren't really interested in her before. Funny too at times. tracey Emin is not just an artist. This woman can really write.Strangeland

Posted on 15 Sep 2009 23:06:35 BDT
If no one's suggested it, Slash's autobigoraphy- one of the best i've ever read. He's achieved so much but how he's alive is baffeling to me. Also very honest- generally a good read and not at a bad price currently.

Posted on 24 Sep 2009 14:29:59 BDT
dreamer says:
if any one is looking for a semi biografie try the taste of sorrow by jude morgan its based on the lives of the brontes and it is a cracking read has any one read it out there if so what was your take on it

Posted on 27 Sep 2009 20:12:57 BDT
Probably the worst - well, most annoying - biography I have ever read is that of the jockey AP McCoy. I won this, then I won that, then I won this again ad infinitum does not make for a decent biography. I should have thought this out myself of course, as it's basically exactly what his career has entailed, but be warned anyway.
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