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lone father needs help with baby not sleeping in his cot.


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Posted on 23 Feb 2015 15:44:55 GMT
eryn says:
Have you tried forming a sausage shape out of a large towel or blanket and cocooning this around Baby? Make sure the enclosed end is around the feet not the head of Baby so they can kick against it but this will simply provide Baby with a sense of being held. Swaddling also works wonders until they settle into a routine.
All that said our boy was just the same before I learnt all the tricks he used to bed in with us almost every night. Everyone says 'You're being too soft' 'They'll never grow out of it' but he's almost 11yrs now and although he goes into our bed to watch TV he very rarely stays there once we go to bed!! Little boys are far more sensitive than little girls. It took minutes to settle our daughter and what felt like a lifetime to settle our son!

In reply to an earlier post on 2 Feb 2015 21:13:11 GMT
Alister says:
Well done chap. We've got one arriving next month. How anyone, male or female, manages to look after a child on their own I will never know.

Kudos to you brother :)

In reply to an earlier post on 3 Jan 2015 11:37:17 GMT
G. D. Buxton says:
Hi Sue, he is fine to settle down at the start of the night it is after he wakes up, he is a nightmare after that.
Since I started this discussion in 2013, he as gone from seeping for only 45 mins to 3 to 4 hours, so things are going in the right direction.

Posted on 25 Dec 2014 16:45:20 GMT
susan droger says:
try having a soft playing baby cd in the bedroom.have it playing for him to fall asleep to and leave it on.it will be security for him and familiar to wake up to.with love sue.

Posted on 6 Sep 2014 18:49:08 BDT
G. D. Buxton says:
He slept for five and a half hours last night, a new record. Most of the time it is around three hours with the odd four hours now and agian. At least it is a move in the right direction.

Posted on 24 Jul 2014 06:14:37 BDT
Sabrina M. says:
My daughter now 4 would only settle in bed next to me she was a great sleeper when in bed with me so i kept her in my bed that way everyone got a full nights sleep and i have a 14 month old son who is exactly the same both of them hated being in their cots so as long as your baby is safe in your bed and happy keep him in your bed by the time my daughter was 2 she was in her own bed in her own room and if she woke up i would cuddle her back to sleep and leave my cardigan next to her so as long as she could smell me on that she was fine do whats right for you and your family not what others say you have to do they don't need to be in a cot co sleeping is fine as long as your baby is safe in your bed hope you get some sleep soon I'm happier with a full nights sleep and so is my son xx

Posted on 23 Jul 2014 21:47:16 BDT
My sister is single parent of 2 adopted boys. The younger one is 8 years old and still sleeps with her. I'm not advocating this, but I believe a lot of babies/children need more physical contact than we think. Not so long ago whole families often slept in the same bed. I think we have become too sophisticated in some respects. I would say just sleep with him if it works.

Posted on 26 Jun 2014 17:51:59 BDT
My daughter did this, and it drove me to the point of tears with exhaustion. I did find I I put something like a t-shit of mine (worn but not dirty) over her mattress, so she had the smell of me it made easing her into her own cot (and not my bed!) easier, it smelt like me so felt safe!

Hope that helps!

In reply to an earlier post on 24 Jun 2014 08:15:33 BDT
Last edited by the author on 24 Jun 2014 08:15:49 BDT
G. D. Buxton says:
Sorry, but I am a dad who only earns £8.25 an hour, life is a struggle as it is. He as now started to sleep around two and a half hour, so it is starting to increase slowly, very slowly.

Posted on 24 Jun 2014 03:12:51 BDT
Rosie says:
Apologies if this has been suggested before, but have you tried, or would you consider, a night nanny for a week or so? They can crack the sleep issue while you get your much needed rest. We did it and it was a life saver.

Posted on 12 Jun 2014 19:59:09 BDT
HappyShopper says:
Try an strict routine try food/ snack , drink change of clothes to sleep wear, talk to him explain that he need to sleep in a big boys bed now. lay him in bed and sit beside him while he falls asleep over a period of months follow the same stricked routine and gradually move yourself away from his bed until you out of the room. Patience is key but the rewards are worth the wait.

In reply to an earlier post on 11 Jun 2014 13:11:26 BDT
D. Ciwende says:
Hee Hee same issues here. we've got an 11month old boy and i took time off work to look after him after maternity finished, so im able to catnap with him in the day. He is a very light sleeper and its not the putting him off to sleep, like you said its him staying asleep. Loss of sleep eventually got the better of me and he has been in my bed for months now. i think he wakes himself up by nocking his legs on the side of the cot because he moves around so much. My sis had the same problem with her youngest who is now 9. She bought a double mattress and put it on the floor. He loved the freedom and would sleep much longer. i wanted to try it but hubby doesn't think it will work :-)

Posted on 9 Jun 2014 07:45:58 BDT
G. D. Buxton says:
He is now two and is quit happy to go down in his cot on his own and sleeps for around two hours, it is after he wakes up the first time that my problems start. I settle him back down but still wakes up after half an hour to an hour. I read that is sleep cycle will get longer as he get older and his light sleep cycle will get shorter, I prey this is true.

Posted on 27 May 2014 00:47:13 BDT
Hi Haven't read the whole discussion but just wanted to say all children are different and some need to be closer to their parents than others at night. Some happily sleep in a cot while others like my 5month old sleeps through the night assuming he's in the bed with me. He wakes up within 15 min if i put him in his cot.

I know he wont still be sleeping in my bed when he is going to college and sometime between then and now he will make the natural progression to his own bed. We both sleep well and soundly and i really don't understand the reason for the strict general opinion that if the baby's not sleeping in the cot its a sign of weakness of the parent or something else similar and bad.

Co sleeping is safe if done carefully and id encourage you to have him in your bed permanently until he is ready to sleep on his own, especially as he needs more comfort after loosing his mummy.

Wishing you all the best and with admiration for your solo fatherhood.

In reply to an earlier post on 22 May 2014 08:19:51 BDT
G. D. Buxton says:
I just do not want my eldest being at school having his sleep disrupted. Even when the little one sleeps with me he wakes up every 2 hours or so and screams, I do not thing that is an option at the moment,maybe in a year or so when he is more like an infant than a baby I may try it.

In reply to an earlier post on 21 May 2014 17:45:09 BDT
have you tried putting both children in the same room? they would be company for each other so the little one wont feel alone

In reply to an earlier post on 6 May 2014 08:11:59 BDT
cathy says:
He did put up his kids ages.

Posted on 2 May 2014 13:40:36 BDT
Last edited by the author on 2 May 2014 13:43:21 BDT
DK says:
Hello, apologies if I'm repeating something someone else has said. One thing I read about and tried when my daughter was still not sleeping through (before around 18 months) was if the child tends to wake up at around the same time each night, gently wake them up a few minutes before then, and try to get them to go back to sleep. The idea was to break the pattern. From what I remember, this did have some success. (My daughter is almost 5 now). Also, I found repeated 'shusshing' sometimes for several minutes usually worked particularly when she woke up half way through a nap. I remember reading that having a regular nap routine in the daytime would help the nightime sleep which was true in my daughter's case. Take care, you sound like a top dad.

In reply to an earlier post on 24 Apr 2014 08:47:15 BDT
G. D. Buxton says:
He is now 22 months, he goes down fine and I can leave the room and he gets himself to sleep. It is after he wakes up he is then hard to settle, that is why he ends up with me as I need to work as well and it is the only way to get any sleep myself.

In reply to an earlier post on 24 Apr 2014 03:30:59 BDT
Emm says:
i know how hard it is i have started putting my 4 month old into her cot and its so hard.... try a routine... i bath my little girl with johnsons bedtime bath stuff and then i go into her room and keep the lights on dim and play sum melodies, whilst i change her and i use johnsons bedtime powder it has a lovely smell and it relaxes her... making everything calm. i carry on playing the melodies and then i put her in her cot still keeping the lights dim. stay with him and slowly move away so he knows ur there try not to give him eye contact... i really hope this works as a single parent myself i know how hard it can be but a calming bedtime routine might help.... if not send me a message... hope to hear how it goes emm

Posted on 17 Apr 2014 22:57:15 BDT
Charli says:
Omg SL much advice...
Seriously go with what your heart tells you, I co sleep with my daughters who's now ten months mainly because I like her close she's my first plus she's comfortable too! If your worried get the cot that connects to the side of your bed or look at a DIY cosleep cot ideas there's some neat safe ideas out there! Good luck its hard but we do what we have to do!

In reply to an earlier post on 23 Mar 2014 23:53:31 GMT
Z. M. Lewis says:
consistant the key

In reply to an earlier post on 23 Mar 2014 23:52:36 GMT
Z. M. Lewis says:
u got to decide something and keep doing it every night same time like bible my bab now goes to sleep at 10.30 up every 3 4 hours

In reply to an earlier post on 23 Mar 2014 23:51:03 GMT
Z. M. Lewis says:
hi I just started doing this my self cus babbalways in bed, make sure feed wunded, clean nappies, then give them some porridge weet abix which eva, once finshed turn lights liw, wrapd them up tight by swadlein them or wrap blnket after tey been bathed with Johnson lavender bath, bath bottle and bed, I bought a cot attaches to my bed now bab dosent realise he iiyin his bed attached to mine,

In reply to an earlier post on 23 Mar 2014 23:51:01 GMT
Z. M. Lewis says:
hi I just started doing this my self cus babbalways in bed, make sure feed wunded, clean nappies, then give them some porridge weet abix which eva, once finshed turn lights liw, wrapd them up tight by swadlein them or wrap blnket after tey been bathed with Johnson lavender bath, bath bottle and bed, I bought a cot attaches to my bed now bab dosent realise he iiyin his bed attached to mine,
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Discussion in:  baby discussion forum
Participants:  70
Total posts:  113
Initial post:  15 Aug 2013
Latest post:  5 days ago

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