Vanessa [1977] [DVD]

This is a German take on the classic Emmanuelle. An Austrian convent schoolgirl inherits her uncle's string of brothels in the Far East. She flies off to Hong Kong to experience the naughty Orient. She is introduced to sex (what else) in all its forms, straight, lesbian, and forced - She finds a particular attraction in the latter - probably all those bare-bottomed spankings at the convent. Sex scenes here are of the very softcore variety (The whipping scenes are limp, lame and some of the least convincing around - good for a laugh though). Olivia Pascal is absolutely lovely as are two of the other ladies but the rest of the cast far less so. The Chinese women in particular were sadly wholly unattractive. Hong Kong is full of pretty Chinese girls so it's a wonder how they ended up with this sorry lot. Director Hubert Frank himself admits that they were "ugly" - his reminiscence about how he found them at the local strip-club is funny - they looked good when he hired them in the dark, but he got the shock of his life when he saw them again in the clear light of day. Acting quality is par for course in a softcore flick - fairly mediocre. As mildly amusing erotica, it's a pleasant enough way to spend the evening. Just sample the corny scene featuring the opening notes of Strauss' "Also Sprach Zarathustra" (the famous music from 2001) as Jackie the blonde woman slowly opens her thighs to the entranced Prince Bandar. Couldn't stop laughing. Or witness Bandar's skills in psychic sex - and especially his ability to induce telepathic orgasms. Plus it's nice to see pretty women with natural body hair for a change - this film was made before the hairless barbie-doll revolution swept the world.

The transfer from Severin is rather disappointing. It's presented in 1.78:1 widescreen (anamorphic). It's acceptable but a full notch below Severin at its best. The print shows its age. Although it's been cleaned up, there are quite a few instances of print damage which are left uncorrected, some glaringly obvious. The print overall is dark and lacking in definition. It is soft, sometimes, blurry, although that is partly due to the photography. It is grainy. The colours are dull and quite lifeless - flat. Hong Kong never looked duller than here. But the picture in and of itself is quite watchable. What I did not like was the removal of the original German soundtrack. We are instead given a very badly dubbed English audio track with everybody sounding faintly American. I get very irritated by dubbing, especially when it's badly done. I would have loved to hear Olivia speaking in her own voice but alas no. The credits are all in German. The main Extra is a half-hour interview with Director and DP; all in German with obligatory English subtitles (burnt in). There is a 15-minute long wordless "Making of" featurette plus the original theatrical trailer. Worth a rental. Buy only if you're a die-hard fan of the lovely Olivia Pascal.

Yes, I did a mistake and had read rave reviews and spent money. Reality didn't support my hopes. Yes, all chicks not bad looking and show some skin often but key word here--some as you never see anything considered private.
The movie don't have real plot also and somehow all men showed as bad and all chicks as victims and as a result chicks don't have choice but serve each other--yeah, whatever. Avoid.

Good soft porn from the early 70's (I think). Olivia Pascal has an incredible body and everyone in the movie wants to grab it! This may sound strange, but I really like the beautiful scenes of old British controlled Hong Kong, which give the movie a nice respectability. The plot: Vanessa is living in a Catholic all girls convent when her uncle dies and leaves her a sting of whore houses in Hong Kong. So, she gets an education quickly on how life revolves around sex, which is new to her.

This movie got 3 stars but I gave it a bonus 4th because I originally watched it on late night cable "back in the day" - ok, enough of that, on to the movie review!

Vanessa Bowling for Movie Score - 133.5 of 300

We here at the Thomason Home for Movie Goodness watch movies... many many movies. We have discs in all formats and across all genres - this would constitute a very special episode of Bowling for movies since this movie falls in that "gray" area with a movie which certainly isn't kept in the front room - this one is FAO (For Adults Only!). But then, you might be cool with that and are now asking yourself - Bowling for Movies? Well, if you haven't read any of our other movie reviews let me fill in the blanks. Using the latest technology and a mixture of pseudo and quasi science, I have developed a formula (which literally has nothing to do with bowling) to capture the pure essence of Hollywood magic... displayed as a score ranging from 0 to 300. A score of 108 would be a "just ok, not particularly good / bad" movie, where a score of 192 would tell you it was a very good movie. Now, break 200 and you've got something really special. Throw too many "gutterballs" will land you under 100 and well - you get the idea. :]

Vanessa - we own the DVD

What's the movie about?
The exotic farce stars German born actress Olivia Pascal as Vanessa... a somewhat shy young woman who begins this adventure as a girl in a convent and ends a sensual women and bordello owner. Um, let's us not kid ourselves - this movie has NEVER been viewed for the story. Overall the film is pretty much just one strange situation to get the cast out of their constraining clothes after another. I use a formula to calculate the actual score and I had some difficulties (I admit it). I never put a movie with basically no real story, no real character development (at least meaningful development) but honestly - I enjoyed the cinematography. They had some very interesting, creative filming. The movie takes place in Hong Kong and the natural surroundings are beautiful. The music is terrible - even for 1977. It was at this point in my musing on this Emmanuelle wannabe that it occurred to me - I noticed the backdrops, the cinematography, the natural beauty of Hong Kong, and the music - I truly have reached middle age.

What I liked:
* Cards on the table - I picked this flick up because I ran across it and recognized the famous (infamous) wicker chair on the beach... I was suddenly back in 1981 and watching late night cable and caught this movie "back in the day" - that beach scene was etched in my mind and I simply had to grab it
* As a product of the 1970's I can appreciate the beautiful women in this movie... there are plenty of them and clothing is optional throughout
* I really liked that my wife didn't say no when I told her what I wanted and why HA! I got away with an eye rolling. I can take that any day

What I didn't like:
* Well, if you pick up this flick you probably won't be too worried about low production value or bad music so I think we can skip this section, this time

Hey, if you have a question about this review, feel free to leave a comment and I will try to answer promptly. I will be leaving more movie reviews with bowling scores so check out my other reviews. Bowling for Movies is in no way affiliated with Amazon nor do I have a website or other business interest - I'm just a dude who watches movies (and dabbles in quasi/pseudo-science) :] Want me to review a movie and score it in an Amazon review - I'd be happy to - if I have it, you'll get it.

Those two reasons are Olivia Pascal. A beautiful woman with a remarkable build. The plot itself is rather silly and only provides reasons for scenes of naked intimacy and some S & M (could have done without that, thank you very much), but Ms. Pascal is a true treat for the eyes.....almost as beautiful as my wife (eat your heart out, fellas).