Blood Relic [DVD] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]

I found this to be a fun movie. It's appeal probably lies more so with its campiness and gratuitous nudity than scariness or great film making. If you come across it and have nothing better to do it's worth a look.

The movie is centered around an abandoned Air Force base being renovated by some college students in efforts to turn it into an airplane museum. In the process of fixing things up they come across a voodoo relic that was brought there by a pilot that had formerly served on the base. The relic takes possession of the person wearing it and turns them into a killer. What follows is a one by one picking off while the characters try to figure out what is going on and 'who done it'.

Well, I would have never bought this movie if it didn't have Billy Drago in it. Unfortunately, the movie makes little sense and has really bad actors in it. Billy Drago himself has got so much more potential and I hope to see him soon again on a major big screen. These cheesy quick to video type selections are getting old and I would like to see the "Bad Boy Billy" as a drug lord again like in the old Delta Force 2 days.

Stop me if you've heard this one before...

There's this evil little sculpture thing, like the thing that Max Von Sydow finds in the beginning of the Exorcist. This little sculpture has a really unsavory effect on the people who possess it. The first guy that gets his hands on it is some kind of fighter pilot. He goes all wing-whack and shoots everybody at his Air Force Base.

Now flash forward to 2005. There's a bunch of college kids who are trying to help put together some kind of aviation museum. For some reason, the kids are renovating this museum in the middle of the night, and they all end up getting locked inside. Enter the creepy KILLER! Blood Relic deteriorates rapidly into a fairly standard Teen Slasher flick. They even have the standard couple sneaking off into the back room to make out. The guy is into kinky sex and likes to terrorize his girlfriend with a knife while they enact rape scenarios. You just know where this is going, right? The killer dons a fighter helmet (complete with shaded visor) and pretends to be kinky boyfriend. The girl protests with the usual progression of "Hey, I kinda like that" to "Hey, not so rough" to "Alright, cut it out, it's not funny anymore" to "Aaaaarrrggh!" I wish I had a penny for every time some second rate horror movie pushed this clichéd wreck on unsuspecting viewers.

Fasten your seat belts everyone, this is My Bloody Valentine in an aerospace museum. In the end, there's the standard bad guy twist where the bad guy that you thought was the bad guy isn't really the bad guy. It's kinda funny when you think about it, naming this movie Blood Relic - because that's what this movie is: a relic. A crusty old outdated thing that should probably be left on the shelf to collect dust.

In the opening scene we see an officer going berserk and killing people because he is wearing a dog tooth on a rope, or ancient artifact as the film tells us. Later a group of young adults hold a seance and play strip poker in the hanger with some good results and some bad. Harry (Billy Drago) with a bad personality and dental hygiene runs the place.

If not for the nudity, this would be a pretty bad slasher. Now part of a film 8-pack.

Parental Guide: F-bomb, sex, nudity (Debbie Rochon, Melanie Rademaker, Caitlin Sabins)

Just by looking at the cover most would assume we're dealing with a 1 star event at best. It's the typical super B movie that slaps some creepy image on the cover, which has no relevance to the actual movie, hoping to draw some suckers in. Well we will admit we were suckered, but not because of the cover. It was because of the name Billy Drago aka the immortal Danton Vachs being credited as the main role. Clearly we are a little more then obsessed with the greatest movie in history...Death Ring, and go to great lengths to support any of the horrible actors that were part of the masterpiece. Unfortunately our support sometimes leads us down the road less traveled leaving us bored to tears. The only thing interesting about this mess was the zoom in on Drago's yellow/gray teeth. C'mon man and hook yourself up with a dental plan. We know you're not rolling in the dough, but you must be making at least a few hundred dollars per role.

So as we stated before, the creature of the cover has absolutely nothing to do with the movie itself. In fact the cover had to be the most expensive portion of this entire movie's budget. If there is a plot this may be what it is; At a naval base some guy finds a relic that turns him totally insane. This relic seriously is a little stone monkey that looks like to came straight out of a dollar store. After this nut goes on a killing spree he stashes the monkey relic in a wall. And then he became a little monkey....a little monkey. Flash forward years later and we get introduced to drago that seriously looks like a lesbian at this point in his life. He's doing some renovations to the base, hires a bunch of punk kids, then they all die once one of them finds the relic. That's the entire movie.

So Sid was rooked thanks to the casting of Danton Vachs. Even he couldn't take it anymore and just disappears half way through the film with no explanation of where he went. Since he couldn't have gone to the dentist, he must have gotten a lift from skylord back to Death Ring island. A place where horrible acting receives no judgement. The film was so dull moving that we actually watched in in a sped up form where everyone sounded like mickey mouse. Watching everyone move around all fast actually made it somewhat comical, rendering the film watchable. For anyone possibly interested with Blood Relic we implore you to keep away. However if you do watch it you can only return it one way. You must run down the street screaming "he's gone, the evils gone from here!"