Creep [DVD] [2004]

I for one really enjoyed this film... the premise is great for a start, seemingly inspired by that scene in An America Werewolf in London where the commuter is terrorised on the underground, as well as the classic British horror film Death Line, in which Donald Pleasence tracks down inbred cannibals living beneath central London, and, that early scene in Jacob's Ladder, where Tim Robbins gets trapped on the abandoned subway station. Being British, the film doesn't attempt to reproduce the sleek and polished professional style of recent American horror films like The Ring, The Grudge and House of Wax... instead, the filmmakers use a lot of natural and/or available light (the tube station fluorescents, torches, firelight and so on) and a roving handheld camera, which gives the film a sense of danger and an element of grit. The film also makes great use of the tube-station as it's central location, drawing on the obvious labyrinthine qualities of the space, with its winding corridors and chained off dead ends. However, we also get the dark and dingy claustrophobia of the sewer systems, underground passageways and abandoned stations, which are a great place for danger to lurk.

The plot, or at least, the impetus for the plot, is threadbare - but then again, I've yet to see a horror film of this ilk that didn't resort to a series of trite clichés in an attempt to set up the impending horror - with our central protagonist - German party girl Kate - on her way out to meet her friend at a nightclub. Unable to get a taxi, she decides to head for the tube, however, when Kate accidentally dozes off while waiting for the last train, she awakes to find an empty platform, an empty tube station, and all the exits locked off 'till morning. I won't give away anymore of the set up, as this would ruin the effect of the film, however, I will point out that the hackneyed narrative ploys found in the first fifteen minutes eventually give way to a gruesome and admittedly rather tense altercation on a broken down train, which, will set the wheels in motion for the rest of the film.

From here, the film becomes a sort of cat and mouse thriller... with a few gruesome and horrific sidelines along the way. The atmosphere is fantastic throughout, with Smith and his cinematographer Danny Cohen (Dead Man's Shoes) using some clever angles and some nice moody lighting, while the filmmakers even manage to elicit a few jumps from the audience without relying on the old technique of loud, surprising noises (although, this technique IS used on a couple of occasions). There's also a nice interplay between the characters, with Kate happening upon a few other frantic lost souls equally intent on escaping this seemingly inescapable lair. On the performance side of things, I think Franka Potente does an extremely good job (though many seem to dislike her character), as she manages to combine the more character driven moments from films like The Bourne Identity and Storytelling with the physicality and the endless running of erm... Run Lola Run. As for the supporting players, I found Vas Blackwood particularly likable as the amiable George (although his continual catchphrase "I've got kids, man!!" does set him up as something of an obvious victim), whilst Jeremy Sheffield seemed more like a plot-device than a proper character... however, much more impressive were Paul Rattray and Kelly Scott as a pair of homeless junkies, who probably offer the most realistic and believable characterisations of the whole film.

Not wanting to give too much away, but special credit should also go to Sean Harris as the enigmatic "Craig", who gives a great deal of depth to a character that could have, quite easily, become a stock cliché, by approaching him from a similar standpoint to that of Klaus Kinski in Werner Herzog's version of Nosferatu... creating a monster with a shard of integrity, without becoming too empathetic. The scenes in which he goes about his "business" in an abandoned underground medical facility are, for me, the most fascinating (and disturbingly beautiful) scenes in the entire film... the fact that some people found them humorous is a bit of a shame.

Obviously, being a low-budget British "horror" film, Creep isn't without its flaws (tell me of a violent horror film that isn't!!), though, to give it one star is a little over-reactionary. It's certainly a better film than the likes of White Noise, Saw, The Grudge, The Forgotten (...or any other recent horror-related film) and I even enjoyed it more than supposedly celebrated horror films like Night of the Living Dead, Friday the 13th, the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre and A Nightmare on Elm Street (then again, what do I know...? I like European art films and enjoyed generally derided horror films like The Lighthouse, The Bunker and Long Time Dead).

For me, Creep was a continually interesting film, with a great style and atmosphere, and is certainly a film that left me with a lot to think about on a sub-textual level. Fans of gratuitous gore should easily appreciate much of the film's second act... whilst the DVD extras are pretty interesting too.

There is a general rule when reviewing movies that no one tries to make a bad movie...... well here's the exception and my God does the director succeed... in spades.

The movie had a good premise, cruelly wasted for future film makers, involving something nasty lurking in the underground, in the this case the scariest thing to come out of the underground was the film crew. The movie is rife with plot holes.... how does the gormless heroines work mate get in the tube after hours when the place is locked up, why was he carrying a torch, why doesen't she just hit a fire alarm to get out, god knows there are enough of them down there.

Then there is the big baddie, all 8 stone of him with a pretzel for a back who can overpower people much bigger than him (How) and where the hell did he come from, that good old experimental hospital that someone built in the london underground system... silly me that should have been obvious.

Not only that there are numerous instances where he can be killed which could have ended the film mercifully early but these were not taken advantage of, this includes him lying temporarily unconscious and there is a large spear to hand, do you kill him or run away screaming.... I'll leave you to guess. And when he is being held steady and you swing a crow bar at his head and..... miss, God give me strength.

Plot hole follows plot hole by god awful acting and some real pantomime bad "He's behind you" moments of directing which left me speechless.

Overall it was so scary the girl next to me in the cinema was playing games on her mobile while the rest of us yearned for some form of euthanasia to take us out our misery. I had taken to stabbing needles in my eyes as a form of blessed relief.

I am mystified how a certain well known film magazine can give this tripe 3 stars, (which reminds me why can't I give this a minus number) they must either know the director or feel a sympathy for useless directors because they are British.

In summary, just don't do it, don't buy it, rent it or watch it on tv. Trust me on this I am saving you time you could spend more productively watching your garden grow or stabbing yourself with a pitch fork. When you get to the end of your life and look back this will be the part you will regret having wasted your time on.