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So here's the deal: A bunch of sassy scientific types, who all look as though they've spent just as much time lifting barbells as they have beakers, head out into Borneo to find a rare flower that's the "pharmaceutical equivalent to the fountain of youth"--and end up dodging the digestive system of several mutant snakes during mating season. You gotta hate when that happens. If you don't, you soon will, because this in-name-only sequel to Anaconda, 1997's now seminal guilty pleasure, is proof that more does not necessarily mean merrier. The thing isn't even good-bad; it's cheap and completely unmemorable even as popcorn fodder. Director Dwight Little and his posse of screenwriters have neither the budget nor the imagination to come on like a rip-snorting Aliens clone--it’s pretty much one snake at a time, and frankly more concerned with the conniving British baddie (Matthew Marsden) who really, really wants that orchid. The cast of no-names is destined to remain that way, although the chiselled Johnny Messner, as a rugged jungle guide, provides a few hoots in his laughably stoic attempt at Vin Diesel-dom. It's hard to determine who you’d like eaten first. --Steve Wiecking, Amazon.com
Synopsis
Some greedy scientists discover the 'blood orchid' holds the secret to immortality, blooms once every seven years, and only grows deep in the jungles of giant python-infested Borneo. Quickly, an expedition is formed but it's the rainy season and the only boat they can charter is a leaky barge belonging to unshaven Captain Johnson (Johnny Mesner). The cute blonde in the expedition (KaDee Strickland) digs Johnson's stoic demeanour, while her scientist boss (Matthew Marsden) tries to win her through promises of untold riches once they find that orchid. Some of the other potential items on the snakes' menu: Johnson's burly co-pilot (Karl Yune), a handsome ship's doctor (Nicholas Gonzalez), a shrieking techie nerd (Cole Burris), Johnson's pet monkey, and two corporate money-grabbers (Morris Chestnut and Salli Richardson). Of course the only ones who are going to be doing any real grabbing here are the gigantic anacondas, who recognise a boat full of lunch when they see one. They attack from nowhere and are big and fast. As if they weren't enough trouble, there are also poison spiders, a giant crocodile, dangerous waterfalls, explosions, treachery, headhunters, and slimy leeches. Fans of the original may miss Jon Voight, but pretty much everything else--a great mixture of fun, suspense, and both intentional and unintentional laughs--is here, including the healthy tweaking of racial and sexual horror-film stereotypes. Monster movie connoisseurs will find this a meal they can swallow whole and digest for days.
So here's the deal: A bunch of sassy scientific types, who all look as though they've spent just as much time lifting barbells as they have beakers, head out into Borneo to find a rare flower that's the "pharmaceutical equivalent to the fountain of youth"--and end up dodging the digestive system of several mutant snakes during mating season. You gotta hate when that happens. If you don't, you soon will, because this in-name-only sequel to Anaconda, 1997's now seminal guilty pleasure, is proof that more does not necessarily mean merrier. The thing isn't even good-bad; it's cheap and completely unmemorable even as popcorn fodder. Director Dwight Little and his posse of screenwriters have neither the budget nor the imagination to come on like a rip-snorting Aliens clone--it’s pretty much one snake at a time, and frankly more concerned with the conniving British baddie (Matthew Marsden) who really, really wants that orchid. The cast of no-names is destined to remain that way, although the chiselled Johnny Messner, as a rugged jungle guide, provides a few hoots in his laughably stoic attempt at Vin Diesel-dom. It's hard to determine who you’d like eaten first. --Steve Wiecking, Amazon.com
Synopsis
Some greedy scientists discover the 'blood orchid' holds the secret to immortality, blooms once every seven years, and only grows deep in the jungles of giant python-infested Borneo. Quickly, an expedition is formed but it's the rainy season and the only boat they can charter is a leaky barge belonging to unshaven Captain Johnson (Johnny Mesner). The cute blonde in the expedition (KaDee Strickland) digs Johnson's stoic demeanour, while her scientist boss (Matthew Marsden) tries to win her through promises of untold riches once they find that orchid. Some of the other potential items on the snakes' menu: Johnson's burly co-pilot (Karl Yune), a handsome ship's doctor (Nicholas Gonzalez), a shrieking techie nerd (Cole Burris), Johnson's pet monkey, and two corporate money-grabbers (Morris Chestnut and Salli Richardson). Of course the only ones who are going to be doing any real grabbing here are the gigantic anacondas, who recognise a boat full of lunch when they see one. They attack from nowhere and are big and fast. As if they weren't enough trouble, there are also poison spiders, a giant crocodile, dangerous waterfalls, explosions, treachery, headhunters, and slimy leeches. Fans of the original may miss Jon Voight, but pretty much everything else--a great mixture of fun, suspense, and both intentional and unintentional laughs--is here, including the healthy tweaking of racial and sexual horror-film stereotypes. Monster movie connoisseurs will find this a meal they can swallow whole and digest for days.
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