Metal Machine Music [Original recording remastered]

Now I accept it's not for everyone. I first heard it in about 1982, and was pretty much convinced it was a joke. In fact I was almost certain that all four sides of the original LP were exactly the same. And it was undoubtedly the worst thing I'd ever heard in my life. The stories of people buying the latest Lou Reed album (remember that it was released in 1975 while Lou was pretty much at his peak) getting home, putting it on the turntable for thirty seconds and then taking it back to the shop were legendary, and didn't seem entirely unreasonable. Who'd want to listen to listen to 64 minutes and 4 seconds of noise? Nineteen years later I certainly do. I accept thats it's not for everyone. But if you have any musically adventurous bones in your body you must hear Metal Machine Music at least once. You might regret it. But you'll never forget it.

Just make sure there are no dogs in the room.

Actually, Reed adds a little more dynamism than this. First, he messed with the tape, for example sometimes bouncing a track down backwards. Then he created a "closed loop" on the final side of the vinyl album. You know, one of those end-of-album loops that play the same thing endlessly, like the noise at the end of "Sgt Pepper" (1967), or the dripping tap on Pink Floyd's "Atom Heart Mother" (1970), or Daevid Allen's "White Neck Blooze" (1971) which was at least witty, repeating "the last time" over and over. Reed's closed loop mucks up the "art object" appeal of MMM but does actually do something interesting, in that suddenly, from just noise, you get a structure, something approaching a rhythm for the first time. (The CD locks you into the closed loop for a few seconds and then shuts off abruptly.)

Apart from this, no compromises. The noise crashes in and crashes out with sudden edits. The four guitar tracks which make up each piece have no relation to each other -- when one goes quiet, the other three don't react the same way. Once you've heard one minute of it, you've heard the entire hour's duration, essentially. There's no attempt to disguise the fact that this is intended merely as noise -- and like any noise, eventually it turns into music in your ear because you become immune to the surface of the noise and begin to pick out the variations deeper in. But there's no secret message waiting to be heard deep within here, any more than you can pour over the noise of pi and expect to decipher the Lord's Prayer. Four guitars squealing with feedback. Full stop.

However, it's a pretty enthralling noise, and the adventurous will want it just because it's something different, extreme, or "cool". It's hardly the greatest album in the world, and despite claims to the contrary can hardly claim to be hugely influential. Today, noise recordings have been taken to their crystalline limits, and "MMM" seems like a fairly primitive period piece compared to, say, the glory, wonder and brutality that is Masonna. So if one of your mates tries to out-cred you with a copy of "MMM", out-cred him back with a Masonna album. Or, buy yourself a big amp, swivel all the knobs to 11, lean your guitar in front of it, and do it for yourself. Folk art noise attack. Incidentally, after a while Masonna becomes the most psychedelic thing you've ever heard. "Metal Machine Music" is no more psychedelic than the free improvisation act AMM's first album "AMMMusic" (1966) -- the second album "The Shrine Concert 1968" is what Lou Reed would have eventually sounded like if he'd made another ten albums like "MMM". But just getting it out of his system the once seems to have been enough.