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Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits : Secrets of Sustainable Intimate Relationships
 
 
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Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits : Secrets of Sustainable Intimate Relationships (Paperback)

by Deborah M. Anapol (Author)
4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)

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Product details

  • Paperback: 182 pages
  • Publisher: Intinet Resource Center (Mar 1997)
  • Language English
  • ISBN-10: 1880789086
  • ISBN-13: 978-1880789087
  • Product Dimensions: 22.9 x 15.2 x 1.5 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
  • Amazon.co.uk Sales Rank: 524,569 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Adequate intro to an important topic, 6 May 2006
By Chandrama (Scotland, UK) - See all my reviews
What do I think about this book? I admire that she has come out and said "Yes, I feel attracted to and love many people, and yes, it is right and good and OK for me to live that truth." This sounds such a simple statement, and yet how commonly acknowledged and accepted is it in our culture? Barely at all. Much of the book is about the integrity and honesty and "emotional intelligence" that needs to follow this first assertion. I admire and am challenged by the accounts of people succeeding in this.

Some of the book strays into less convincing, peripheral stuff, like asserting that polyamorous relating leads to lower-environmental-impact lifestyles. I feel this dilutes the message, as there are plenty of other coooperative/communal structures (reasonably widely adopted, too) that surely achieve just as much.

I am intrigued by her accounts of the emotional and sexual intensity of multi-partner relationships and encounters. Sounds interesting, challenging, fun - though not the central issue from my point of view, which is: If my heart, sexuality, interest, is drawn to someone, and that feeling is mutual, must it be wrong to honour that? Must those feelings and actions necessarily offend and upset others that I relate to? Must a relationship with one person imply closure of my thoughts, emotions and sexuality to all others? These are the big issues for me, because I perceive that when one closes oneself down in this way, unhappiness and ill health follow.

I would have liked to have read more about polyamorous people and their children. Reason being that so many couples stay together "for the children" and I am interested in whether the anticipated distress of the children is an innate thing (i.e. children inherently want their parents to be in a monogamous relationship) or conditioned (i.e. children get upset when their parents and circle of acquaintance get upset, according to their conditioning in the norms of the culture). Alas, not much in the book to indicate how much has been explored or discovered about that.

Overall, I experienced this short book as a manifesto, or taster, or teaser for a presumably larger literature on the subject. It's a while since it was first published, and the author sounds like one of the pioneers of the "movement" so I'm definitely left feeling intrigued but not yet satisfied. Plenty of references in the book, though, so fine.

Summary: A worthwhile, thought-provoking, but introductory, read.
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