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The Burglar Diaries (Paperback)

by Danny King (Author) "'What?' says Ollie, shining the torch in my face for the umpteenth fucking time ..." (more)
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
RRP: £7.99
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Product details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Serpent's Tail (1 Mar 2001)
  • Language English
  • ISBN-10: 1852426640
  • ISBN-13: 978-1852426644
  • Product Dimensions: 19.4 x 13 x 1.8 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
  • Amazon.co.uk Sales Rank: 87,949 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Product Description

Amazon.co.uk Review

A house burglar's memoirs might well be pushing the boundaries of public taste and common decency but make no mistake, The Burglar Diaries is truly a work of comic genius. Look beyond the coarse language and outrageous designs on life and you've got a real diamond of a novel just ripe for the taking.

Danny King writes like a foul-mouthed jack the lad who also happens to possess irresistible storytelling skills and a wicked sense of humour. Bex, the chief protagonist, has long given up on the idea of a straight office job and is content to get by on dodgy dealings and botched jobs, but occasionally he does give in to the odd scruple. For example, despite the encouragement of his hapless mate Ollie, our narrator refuses to extract money from a kiddie's piggy bank and passes up the opportunity to cash in on a wedding ring belonging to a recently deceased old lady. He further redeems himself when, naturally in the line of "duty", he exposes firstly some neglectful parents and later an evil paedophile ring--exploits that earn him a hero's mention in the local 'paper. That said, this is far from a tale of robbing the rich to feed the poor and while Bex is a hugely entertaining creation, his chosen profession will not endear him to every reader.

King's first book is a devilishly funny insight into the mind of a petty criminal with hilarity at every turn. The Burglar Diaries, a remarkable debut from a man with a bright future on the "outside", looks set to ignite a cracking series. --David Thwaites



Product Description

Bristling with a razor-sharp wit, The Burglar Diaries is the first person account of petty thief Bex: a bit of a geezer who, with long time partner-in-crime Ollie, just about gets by on the money he makes from house-breaking in small town suburbia. Not the sharpest tools in the box, Bex and Ollie get into more than their fair share of scrapes, but they stick together, have a laugh, and make enough cash to stay in the pub all weekend. A confident and lippy raconteur, Bex frequently shares his thoughts on life which are as dodgy as he is and offer an hilarious insight into the mind of the petty criminal.
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Inside This Book (Learn More)
First Sentence
'What?' says Ollie, shining the torch in my face for the umpteenth fucking time. Read the first page
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Customer Reviews

13 Reviews
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4 star:
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3 star:
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2 star:    (0)
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Average Customer Review
4.5 out of 5 stars (13 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

 
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Read, 19 Mar 2007
I heard about Danny King from a mate and decided to look him up. I bought the burglar diaries on a tuesday and was done with it by the saturday (pretty fast for me). I've already orderd the other diaries and fully expect them to be at home when i go back for lunch today.

It's written it the first person and is extremely easy to read. The reader gets a solid picture of the main character, without every really being told what he looks like. His views, ideas and thoughts tell you more than any descriptions ever could.

This book would suit anyone who enjoys humour and doesnt mind a bit of swearing. It's an honest account of a man who does what he does and doesnt give a ****.

Buy it now. But leave a light on in your front room if you go out tonight....
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Well worth half-inching, 3 Feb 2004
This is the funniest book I've ever read, and yes, I've read more than one. It's probably the funniest of the three of Danny Kings' 'diaries' (purely fuctional, I'm sure) currently available, in a laugh-out-loud kind of way. The first-hand accounts of bungled burglaries are hillarious, especially when Ollie is caught emptying his bowels in a victim's toilet as they arrive home. Compulsive reading, if it takes you more than a few days to finish there's something wrong with you. By the way, did you lock your windows?
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars The funniest book I ever nicked!, 7 Sep 2001
Danny King's skill for writing like people talk is brilliant. The timing of his one-liners is absolutely spot on, and they are always hilarious. His cast of characters, too, particularly his mate, Ollie, is a truly inspired comic invention. Bloody genius. I didn't 'laugh out loud' though, I screamed. Next installment please.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

4.0 out of 5 stars Amoral, chauvinistic, crude, rude and totally compelling.
If liberal usage of the "f" word or "c" word offends you, read no further; and if you've ever been burgled, I'm not sure you will get into the spirit of the thing. Read more
Published on 25 Jul 2007 by book-worm.biz

5.0 out of 5 stars Honest & Hilarious
I'd never heard of Danny King but stumbled across this book whilst browsing the public library - so glad I did. Read more
Published on 20 Nov 2006 by Ms. G. L. Thirlwall

3.0 out of 5 stars Not as good as I'd hoped
The Burglar diaries is uninspiring.

It's the tale of an average joe with an interest in other people's belongings. Read more
Published on 2 May 2006 by N. Wood

1.0 out of 5 stars A crime against fiction.
Despite the reviews - one of which described this as "a work of comic genius" - this is desperately unfunny and badly written with a series of pointless disjointed episodes... Read more
Published on 9 Nov 2005 by gordon henry

5.0 out of 5 stars A book for anyone who owns anything of value
I loved it. It is extremely addictive reading and the style of King demonstrates what a broad canvas writing can be. Read more
Published on 28 Aug 2001 by adrianmcronin@hotmail.com

5.0 out of 5 stars I couldn't put this book down for two days
I bought this book on recommendation with some hesitation as I was told that the language was a bit strong. Read more
Published on 16 Jul 2001

5.0 out of 5 stars I laughed so much, I cried.
This must be one of the funniest and frankest books available. You might not want to give this book to your grandmother as a gift but you'll certainly want to read it out loud to... Read more
Published on 13 April 2001

5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant! One of the funniest books I have read for ages.
I couldn't stop laughing aloud and reading bits to anyone who happened to be within earshot. Even the introduction is hilarious. Read more
Published on 11 April 2001 by maryanngriffiths@hotmail.com

5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic!
I really enjoyed it - it had me laughing out loud! I can't wait for the next in the series to be published. Read more
Published on 13 Mar 2001

5.0 out of 5 stars This book will make you laugh your teeth out.
Danny King's "The Burglar Diaries" is a treat from start to finish. Packed with laughs (at least one of which involves a concealed kebab) and thrills (at least one of... Read more
Published on 12 Mar 2001

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