Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Becoming Drusilla:One Life,Two Friends,Three Genders and one brilliant read, 5 Jun 2008
This is without doubt one of the finest,well written,clever,moving books i have ever read.Everything about this book is excellent from the way it is written to the old fashioned styling of the way the book as been made with a proper binding and drawings (done by Drusilla)between each chapter.
The journey they undertake together is not unlike the whole journey of transitioning because Richard has himself so many doubts and questions he is trying to find answers to.
The actual trip for me was very moving because parts of their journey are through areas i know so well and have a special meaning to me personally.
There are so many books available telling the arduous path of being a transsexual person but after reading a few you find yourself skipping chapters because so many are similar. With this book you will find that once you start reading it you will have great trouble putting it down.
Richard Beards observations on Drusilla,who herself is a very interesting person,are so clever, sensitive and intelligent,he looks at the complete picture,his own feelings,drusilla's feelings and how other people react. If you only ever read one trans-persons story make sure it is this one and if you know anyone who is going down this sometimes very difficult path make sure that they and all their friends,family and work colleges read it because the people who are on the outside may have a very different opinion afterwards.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Inspirational, fun with a feeling of true Friendship, 22 May 2008
It's not often that I pick a book up and instantly feel part of it, drawing on the words on the page and eagerly wanting more. But this book had me hooked from the very first page.
Autobiographies of Transsexuals tend to end up in a standard kind of way, you see the struggles, you see the need to conform and see an individual that seemingly breaks the shackles of a previous part of life, and throws them away. I often feel sad about this, for example Roberta Cowell felt the overwhelming need to stop liking motor cars because she lost an interest in them. It has always comes across to me it seemed she felt it was the right thing to do, and so the need to conform made her shun things she liked rather than embrace her inner self. Happily she allowed her liking to come back but in many other books I have seen people throw a whole chapter of their life away, as though it never belonged to the.
With Dru in "Becoming Drusilla" you get to see a more familiar viewpoint, that it isn't a sin to still like things you always have, that many transsexuals keep an element of femininity and Masculinity of their previous part of life with them, something no different to any other man or woman.
Dru still likes the things she did before, she likes to canoe, to fix motor cars, to go hiking, to work on ships in engine rooms, and drink pints of Beer, all considered manly things to do. For the average person even in our more liberal way of life in the western world this still looks very wrong in the sense of conforming, there is still a perceived way of being who you should be. When someone transitions it is not just difficult for that person, but for friends, partners and families.
When Dru told Richard, a long time friend what she intended to do Richard experiences what many other friends do, thoughts of how?, why?, when?, where?, and the need to know more... for many transsexual people some friends have immense difficulty understanding, or accepting at all, with this book many of those taboo's are covered with Richard writing the biography from his viewpoint, his need to understand more and his need to question himself too in how he feels about what Dru has done. Set around a walk in Wales and sharing a tent, something both of them previously did together before Dru undergoes her change including surgery this book explores Dru's life, how things have changed and how Richard sees things from the perspective of a friend, something that is rarely seen.
The book is full of amusing moments and anecdotes, which had me smiling, nodding with familiarity and laughing in places, but more than that it is a truthful and honest account from a friend who by sharing his own fears and anxieties has gained more knowledge, understanding and acceptance of his friend, and made his and Dru's friendship even stronger.
An inspirational, fun and well written piece of writing on many levels, I thoroughly recommend this book, especially for those who are friends of someone undergoing change or have changed such as Drusilla.
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Groundbreaking and fun!, 13 May 2008
This book is invaluable on so many fronts. First of all it dispels the persistent myth about male to female transsexuals conforming in the extreme to stereotypical ideas of femininity. This new woman, Dru, (formally Drusilla, formerly Drew) feels at home being a woman; she doesn't have to discard all those useful tools picked up through male socialisation in order to feel this. She knows that these are superficial aspects of gender. She cooks, sews and she fixes engines. What is unusual in a transsexual biography and often very funny in this book is that it's mostly about her male friend's difficulties in coming to terms with this. Richard, the author and friend in question, says that Dru is a girl who likes boys things who was born into a boys body. One wonders if she would have been introduced to these `boys' things if she had been born into a girls body. But then, Richard remembers that, over the years that they have been friends, there were also plenty of other boy things that didn't appeal to Dru, such as rugby (in fact all sport) and the way men often discuss women.
Dru is much, much happier living her life as a woman. She says that before she looked normal but felt like a freak but that now she feels normal and looks like a freak. She would prefer it if everyone recognised her as a woman immediately without question but this doesn't always happen, and especially didn't happen when first starting to transition. Richard seems to be overly conscious of how he and Dru would be perceived. He frets over whether people are reading them as `a normal couple' or as `a man with a weird woman' or as `a man with a tranny'? He is often distinctly uncomfortable, for example, when Dru asks for a pint instead of a half in a pub in small town Wales. But really! How old fashioned is that? You can touch Richard's frustration is being unable to pin Dru down on specifics. He wants the defining diagnosis, the defining truth. If only transsexualism was that definite. But of course it isn't, as he eventually and painfully, comes to realise.
The narrative is cantered around a hike they did together in Wales which although useful, serving as a focus in bringing the past up to the present, can be irritating as the occasional reference to their walk, map and directions are distractions from the desire to read more about Dru's life and what she has had to endure in order to realise her true self.
The writing is of course all about Dru, Richard's `manly man' becoming a woman, but you would expect a little bit more self analysis from Richard. Richard disappointingly feels the need to assert his masculinity more definitely and even decides to grow a beard during their walk. Perhaps this is common amongst non transsexuals in trying to reassure themselves that they are definitely 100% male or female. That said, he is determined to overcome his prejudices and maintain their friendship and ultimately he rightly concludes `that the transgender experience demonstrates that girlness and boyness are fantastically resilient And it proves the strength of cultural conditioning'
The path to changing gender is described, (Some would say obstacle course) and there are references to earlier influential biographies of Transsexuals which is interesting and enlightening to those with little knowledge of this history.
The real selling point however, is that's it's a funny and very enjoyable read with some great one liners. This is what grips you and I guarantee you will find this book difficult to put down once you start.
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