Bring back Anita Blake, 13 Feb 2006

The series has had it’s high points (Guilty Pleasures, Lunatic Café, Obsidian Butterfly) and it’s lows (Narcissus in Chains, Cerulean Sins, Burnt Offerings), but I’ve stuck with it.

But - and it pains me, and brings no pleasure to, to say this - Incubus Dreams is the worst book of the series.

In fact, it’s one of the worst books I’ve ever read.

The Anita Blake started off as action/thriller/horror detective stories, but now they are thinly disguised porn.

If you’ve read the synopsis, that’s not the story. The story runs like this:
Anita Blake whines.
She has sex.
She develops a new and mysterious magical power.
She whines.
She has sex with someone different.
She develops a new and mysterious magical power.
She whines.
She has sex with a few randomly selected male characters different.
She develops a new and mysterious magical power.
She whines.
One or more of her seven official lovers whine.
She has sex with someone new.
She develops a new and mysterious magical power.
She whines.
Repeat for 700 pages. And that’s a day - one day, in Anita Blake’s life.

It’s not the sex that makes this book bad (I like erotic fiction). Neither is it the amount (every 2-3 chapters - bear in mind the chapters are very short - Anita’s panties are off). It’s just that all the shagging serves no purpose.

Like a good porno movie, events in the story are only there to give a reason for Anita Blake to have sex with random - and I do mean random - men she meets. Characters you’ve never heard of appear, seemingly with the only reason to give Anita someone new to have… well… to have.

Reading this you feel like you’ve been sold an anthology of trashy erotic fiction, after being told it’s an action/detective/horror novel.

On the other hand, the blurb could have something to do with the story. I’m about 500 pages into this 724 page tome and there have been two scenes which might - MIGHT - be relevant to the serial killer of vampire storyline (a plot that’s a throwback to the first Anita Blake book, Guilty Pleasures). That’s a trick that LKH has used in Cerulean Sins and Narcissus in Chains - realised she’s 200 pages from the end of the novel, and thought "Damn. Better pack the plot in here."

I’m say this as a big, and loyal, fan of Anita Blake: I wish I hadn’t have bought this book. Cerulean Sins and Narcissus in Chains were bad, but this…

I hope that LKH brings back the Anita Blake I know and love. Until then, I’m staying away from this series.

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