About the Author
Michaela Riedl studied tantric massage at the Diamond Lotus Institute in Berlin and then refined the yoni and lingam massage techniques developed by Annie Sprinkle and Joseph Kramer, founder of the Erospirit Research Institute in California. She directs the AnandaWave Massage Center in Cologne, Germany, and is the author of Yoni Massage. Jürgen Becker gained a completely new level of sexual consciousness by participating in a lingam-yoni massage group led by Michaela Riedl. Inspired to share his experiences he suggested to Michaela that they write this book together. He runs a sexual counseling practice with his partner near Munich.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Chapter 1
MALE SEXUALITY
In the lingam, see the beauty of solidified gold,
the steadiness of the Himalayas,
the tenderness of a growing leaf,
the life-giving strength of the sun,
and the stimulation of its sparkling jewels!
--Linga Purana
EJACULATION
At some point during puberty every boy experiences it: a sweet feeling accompanied by the excretion of a milky liquid from the lingam. For some the first ejaculation comes as a complete surprise, sometimes even completely without touching the lingam, as a “nocturnal emission” during their sleep. Over the following weeks, the growing boy then experiences the sweet sensations that can be caused by the rubbing, stroking, and touching of the lingam.
Unfortunately, today’s youth are not taught how to masturbate lovingly during the course of their sexual education. Masturbation thus becomes for many simply a way to resolve any kind of tension. The youth never understands that his seed is a treasure. He also does not learn to consciously connect masturbation with the act of loving himself and to use it to orient his love life toward sensual fulfillment. Since youth normally receive none or only limited loving explanations and introductions to their sexuality, they often look for sexual stimulation on the Internet rather than connecting the natural desire to touch themselves with more desirable fantasies. These circumstances can make a natural and conscious approach to sexuality--and ejaculation--more difficult, which is also one reason why an increasing number of men suffer from premature ejaculation problems. To enable men to learn how to delay their arousal and how to expand and deepen it sensually, requires bringing consciousness, slowness, acceptance, and a joy for sensual things into their sexuality.
Complete Ejaculation Control
Complete ejaculation control depends on being able to separate ejaculation from experiencing orgasms. Neurophysiologically, orgasm and ejaculation are two completely different processes. The ejaculation itself does not cause the feeling of orgasm but is simply a physical act to move the ejaculate outside of the body. The orgasm itself is an intensive energy experience, and it occurs in men who lack other forms of training within fractions of a second before ejaculation.
The lingam self-massage, combined with the stop-and-go method described below, can help the practice of separating orgasm from ejaculation and allow the experience of energy with the Big Draw. This self-love ritual is also useful if you simply want to learn how to delay and enjoy ejaculation.
Lingam Self-Massage Combined with the Stop-and-Go Method
1. Before you focus on your genitals, remember to touch and massage the rest of your body, especially your stomach, thighs, and nipples.
2. Massage yourself as you like. Stimulate the entire lingam, testicles, and perineum.
3. Pay attention to your arousal curve. Try to trace the beginning of arousal: pay attention to the tingling of the lingam root, observe the stages of erection, note the quickening of your breathing and pulse.
4. Increase the stimulation until just before the critical point of no return, then stop, breathe calmly, and contract your PC muscle around your prostate. You can also delay ejaculation by pressing on your Jen Mo point, gently pulling the testicles downward, squeezing the tip of your lingam with your hand, or simply using your mind to do the same. The most important thing: observe the stages of your arousal and stop at the right time--not too close to the point of no return.
5. If you need fantasies to become aroused, imagine that your lingam is being received by a beautiful yoni, since this comes closest to the reality of sexual experience. It’s best, however, to avoid drifting into fantasies.
6. The key of this exercise is to listen and feel what is happening inside you, to breathe deeply into the pelvis, and to learn to consciously feel your own sexual reactions. Observe closely where you are on an erection scale from 1 to 100.
7. If you are feeling very aroused, visualize your sexual energy flowing upward along your spine up to the top of your head as you inhale, and back down along the front of your body to your perineum as you exhale. Allow your sexual energy to flow and spread throughout your body.
8. Repeat this, stopping and starting several times, until you feel more comfortable with it. Continue to stroke your entire body, to distribute your energy throughout your body, and continue to touch your testicles and perineum. Can you feel your energy spread throughout your body in waves? Can you feel the energy circulating?
9. If you want, you can reward yourself with an ejaculation after some time. Enjoy your orgasm as you would any other and take your time to fully embrace this feeling as it ebbs. If you want to avoid an ejaculation and instead use this energy for yourself--for your health and creativity or for a full-body orgasm without energy loss--you should practice the Big Draw at this point (see the detailed description on page 131). Visualize this sexual energy being distributed throughout your body, being absorbed by all the cells of your body, and allow your body to vibrate or shake lightly.
10. Once you feel reasonably comfortable with this stop-and-go exercise, ask your partner to stimulate your lingam. This is not about using the precise techniques discussed later in the book, but about the awareness of both partners during stimulation. Give hand signals early on as you approach the point of no return and maintain control of your ejaculation to allow the energy to spread throughout your body.
11. When your partner stops the stimulation, breathe deeply. Ask your partner to use strokes to spread your sexual energy from the pelvis throughout your body.
12. If you want, and if it feels right for both of you, reward yourself with an ejaculation, a visualizing of the spread of energy, or the Big Draw.
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