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My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands
 
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My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands (Paperback)

by Chelsea Handler (Author)
3.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)

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Product details

  • Paperback: 213 pages
  • Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing PLC (6 Jun 2005)
  • Language English
  • ISBN-10: 1582346186
  • ISBN-13: 978-1582346182
  • Product Dimensions: 20.8 x 13.7 x 2 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 3.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
  • Amazon.co.uk Sales Rank: 701,799 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Product Description

From the Publisher

A raucous and hilarious memoir of one woman's one-night stands, as told by cult US comedienne and extrovert, Chelsea Handler. Raunchy, acid and laugh-out-loud funny throughout...

‘Many people feel like a one-night stand is something to be ashamed or embarrassed of. I disagree…’

Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea Handler loves men… Lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles Chelsea’s romps through the bedrooms of a host of potential suitors, uncovering what can happen in one night of passion between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated woman.

From her short fling with a Vegas stripper named Thunder to her even shorter fling with a very short man, she recalls her myriad one-night stands with hilarious honesty. My Horizontal Life is a sensationally frank and funny memoir of sexual life, and a gloriously quirky take on why we do the things we do. Whether you have been there yourself or not, its one guilty pleasure you won’t be ashamed to talk about in the morning… --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.



From the Back Cover

‘Hilarious… Frank, funny, and will have you laughing out loud’ B

Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea Handler loves men… Lots of them. In My Horizontal Life she tells of her most memorable one-night-stands, uncovering what can happen in one night of passion between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated woman.

‘A rib-tickling affair that will leave you doubled up in no time… Do we love her tales!’ OK

‘Handler is the leading light of Slapper Lit… We learn about Handler’s past conquests: the stripper with romantic pretensions; the midget who proves more useful as a pillow; the under-endowed teetotaller; the closet gynaecologist. Handler works her way through the lot with gleeful abandon…the gorgeous blonde who has single handedly out-raunched Raunch Culture.’ Observer

‘If the name Chelsea Handler doesn’t mean anything just yet, it will shortly. The girl’s going to be huge… Has to be the funniest and most candid book about shagging ever written by a woman’ Daily Mirror

‘Hilarious’ More!

‘Fascinating… Brutally honest’ Star --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

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Customer Reviews

11 Reviews
5 star:
 (4)
4 star:
 (2)
3 star:
 (1)
2 star:    (0)
1 star:
 (4)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
3.2 out of 5 stars (11 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

 
4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars how low can you go?, 25 Jan 2007
By Els "Els" (Belgium) - See all my reviews
This review is from: My Horizontal Life (Paperback)
I suspected a hilarious book, entertaining, funny, but what a disappointment!! The author is definitely not born with writer's talent.
Despite the formula of telling small independent anekdotes, she doesn't succeed in making it a coherent story. The stories and her language are at times unbelievebly coarse.
The story ends with her comment what a dumb idea she thinks it is to write a book on her experiences. Well, I couldn't agree more: it was indeed an extremely dumb idea!
If I could rate this book 0 stars, I would!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars A good fun read, 2 Aug 2006
By Nadine E. Le-hoste "Louise24" (London) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This is a good read with some laugh out loud moments. Its not really about sex. Its about realising you are going to have to make your excuses and ditch this guy because he is a loser. Its about the amount weirdos you can meet in bar. Its also about growning up and realising what once fun isnt anymore
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9 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars oh dear!, 8 April 2006
By A Customer
This review is from: My Horizontal Life (Paperback)
There's a point in My Horizontal Life where a friend suggests to Chelsea that she ought to write a book about all the men she's been involved with, to which Chelsea responds, "What a dumb idea." Yet, Chelsea does write a book about it - and it turns out to be a particularly dumb book. She should have taken her own advice. There are 18 chapters in total (each dedicated to another so-so scenario in Chelsea's sexual life) yet, for a book that's supposed to be about a woman's sexual adventures, Chelsea only actually sleeps with men in about 7 of the chapters. There are a lot of near-misses. Given that this is supposed to be a book about one night stands and 'sleeping around', these add up to a lot of non-stories.

Not only is the writing very poor (almost like a 16 year old's account of her summer holidays) but this book ultimately comes across as boring and self absorbed. I was expecting an interesting, involving and intelligent insight into a modern woman's attitude towards sex. This was not it. In fact, Chelsea isn't really doing anything different to what thousands of women of a certain generation are doing. Sadly, however, she comes across as desperate and really rather lost. Most of the time she's drunk - and many of her own stories don't portray her in a particularly good light; not because of the subject matter (after all, people have bought the book knowing what it's supposed to be about) but because she just seems very unworldly and immature. There are points where she chooses not to sleep with men for a variety of reasons (one she determines, through his trousers alone, has genitals that are too big. Another has genitals too small - so she sneaks out of his flat). For a woman who holds herself up as a hedonist and lover of men, these aren't quite the actions of a sexually sophisticated adult. And then there are parts of the books that are just offensive - particularly her description of 'midgets'; for example, "Those little midgets have it so easy. Sometimes when I see one, I want to chase it..." It? It??? Followed by, "His mom was a midget too, but his dad was human-sized." Now, politically incorrect humour can be hilarious if handled properly, but this sort of stuff isn't funny, it's just dire. Oh, and Chelsea didn't sleep with this one either because his genitals were too big. Again! She just passed out from excessive alcohol consumption. Again!!!

Really, every sane, mature woman should avoid this book. Trust me - there will be nothing in there that will give you a greater insight into sex in the modern age. If anything, the majority of women have probably been there and done most of what Chelsea's done - just in a more considered way.

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