Doctor Mooze (Paperback)

OK, it’s not on the Internet yet, cos I haven’t like got around to learning how to do that, but I’ve got this copy of Word my Dad lifted from work and put on our PC at home, and I know how to use that. I guess I can put it on the web sometime, but I thought I’d wait til I’ve got a bit more and it’s sort of worth the effort, you know? I mean I can’t see the point in learning how to do all that shit and then get bored with writing this and then it’s all a waste. I mean who’s going to pay for advertising if there’s only like one or two pages you know? I mean doh!

Cool. I’ve done half a page already and it ain’t sooo very hard. Man, that sbentter Matthews, he’s in my class and he’s been trying to do a blog for months now and all he’s got on his is some stuff about when he went on holiday to Portugal. I mean, some of the pictures of women were cool – his Dad had sort of done this sneaky thing where he took photos of like Matthews’ Mom and that – on an air bed – like well stupid she looked, but yeh, his Dad he sort of made sure that there were these like real cool looking girls behind his Mom, so they were in the photo too. And then Matthews he’d sort of used Coral Picture to cut his Mom out and put him in the middle so it looked like these cool girls were like checking him out instead of looking at his Mom and sort of laughing. They kinda looked German in the picture – well my brother Toto said so anyway, and he knows cos he has kinda got these magazines that he keeps hidden in his bedroom and it was sooo funny when like Mom started tidying his room once, and he had to try and get her like, out of the room. It was sooo cool, cos me and Toto were like,
"Heh Mom, there’s like someone at the door"
and Toto said that he’d broken his foot and started hopping around and stuff like a real nonno. I was just like laughing, and Mom she just kept on telling him to like stop "trying to be clever" which made me laugh even more cos he just looked sooo very stooped. Like in the Simpsons or the Osbournes or something, but without the yellow face or silly voice or anything. But like, Matthews site has like got this picture on but we all know it’s not real and stuff and that his Mom is the biggest bowser since Pluto.

So anyway in my blog it’s going to be about real things not pretend stuff like he does, and I’ve done three pages now and haven’t even told you what it is I like to do, o man this is going to be easy after all and maybe I will learn that Internet stuff for putting your blog so people can see it.

I’m going to shoot some rabbits now with Dad. We’ve got a problem with vermin and are willing to take a responsible approach to managing it. That’s what he told the reporter man who smelt when those hippy blokes with beards and ugly women told on him to the papers and the radio people kept coming around to his work and like telling lies about him.
We have to kill the rabbits when it’s dark now so that no one can see us and we’ve got to do it tonight because the man from the fur coat factory is coming around in the morning and we get paid money for them and things. My Dad says that’s like a secret or something, so don’t tell anybody. Specially not reporters from newspapers and stuff
Yours
Panton

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