Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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15 of 16 people found the following review helpful:
Victims' charter, 14 Feb 2008
Almost single-handedly, John Bradshaw has created the 'shame' industry. Shame is no longer regarded as a useful emotion which prevents us from repeating shameful acts. Instead it is represented as a false and negative condition which is foisted upon us by others.
There are, of course, individuals who carry around a burden of shame that does not properly belong to them. Such instances are mercifully rare and often involve early abuse.
According to this new doctrine, however, we are all victims, who are 'shamed' by other people. Shame is 'toxic' and is instilled into us by our close family, especially by 'toxic parents'. We are thus entitled to feel very sorry for ourselves and very bitter towards our persecutors.
This view of the matter is, of course, extremely popular. We love to be told that we are hard-done-by and that all our resentments are completely justified.
Unfortunately, it doesn't help people to get well.
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28 of 35 people found the following review helpful:
Muddled and self-indulgent, 11 Dec 2007
John Bradshaw appears to have pulled off an old deception, practised for centuries by quack doctors and mountebanks everywhere. He has invented a malady ('toxic' shame), has then persuaded thousands of gullible people that they are afflicted with it - and is now peddling his patent treatment for this fictitious condition.
There is no objective evidence that 'toxic' shame exists. Yet again, hapless parents are being demonised in the eyes of their self-obsessed offspring. This book encourages people to blame others and to avoid taking responsibility for themselves and for the solutions to their own problems.
It will be welcomed enthusiastically by all who love to flounder around in a swamp of self-pity.
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43 of 57 people found the following review helpful:
Shame is a lonely place, 5 Sep 2000
Before reading this book, I was unaware what a big influence shame has on all aspects of life - if we were consistently shamed in childhood, the effects can be devastating. John Bradshaw explains just why shame is such a powerful force and what we can do about it. If you were shamed, you probably think you are alone. Read this book and discover that you are not.
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