Book Description
An unusual and invaluable resource for families, Christian clergy and health professionals who want to find ways of praying after the death of a baby during pregnancy or around birth. This means not only the death of a tiny baby, but also a miscarriage, a stillbirth, an abortion, an ectopic pregnancy, a neonatal death and the grief of infertility and childlessness. It also means the grief of many years ago when the death of a baby during pregnancy was ignored, often at a terrible cost to the parents of the child. This book offers a collection of 21 model liturgies for every situation, including a funeral for a stillborn baby, prayers after miscarriages and the dignified disposal of ashes by a hospital chaplain. As more and more parents are now coming forward for pastoral care in these situations, this is a valuable training text for students at theological training colleges and seminaries. There is some exploration of the theological implications. There is sympathetic description of the hidden grief of miscarriage or abortion. This book explores the strong feelings that are aroused in everyone involved when a baby dies, regardless of the circumstances, and this includes members of the clergy. There are plenty of additional prayers, readings, music, symbols etc. to enable anyone who wishes to tailor a special service as closely as possible to the needs of the people involved. This useful manual contains everything one would require to create a special service of prayer and memorial for a parish or a group of any size: even a large cathedral congregation. This book provides answers to some perennial problems for Christian clergy: what to do after a stillbirth when the parents ask for baptism? What prayers are suitable for a funeral after abortion on grounds of abnormality?
This book is recommended to anyone engaged in pastoral theology. It is a bookshelf must for parish clergy of all Christian denominations. It is a useful source of practical advice for hospital chaplains. Parish workers and Christian counsellors working with men and women still grieving for babies who died many years ago will find that here at last is an answer to their prayers.
From the Author
This book is the culmination of more than five years work, which has taken me on a long journey through the hidden grief of miscarriage, the tragedy of abortion, the anguish of neonatal death and the silent despair of childlessness.
I soon realised that this area of grief is almost entirely unrecognised. There are very few resources available for Christian clergy to underpin their pastoral care for families after a baby has died, whether during pregnancy or around birth. With the help of this book, priests and ministers of all the Christian denominations can also begin to meet this problem with simple and expressive liturgies of prayer and memorial, which the families themselves can help to create.
Through the ten years of this project, which I called Not out of Mind, I was contacted by Christian priests and ministers from all over the English-speaking world. Their creative approach to liturgy and their courageous efforts to create new and theologically sound ways of meeting this emerging area of pastoral care impressed me very much. I decided to gather them into a single volume for the whole world to be able to benefit from the liturgies they created. The material is organised in such a way that anyone can plan a service very simply and easily, even if they have never done such a service before. This is obviously a boon to busy clergy and parish workers.
There is an increasing demand for services of prayer and memorial after miscarriage and stillbirth, and such services are becoming a regular practice in some of the more creative Christian parishes. With this manual as a guide for anyone who wished to attempt this new style of service, I hope that this practice will continue to expand to the benefit of grieving families everywhere.
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