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Bricks & Torture
 
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Bricks & Torture (Paperback)

by Alan Neale (Author)
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Price: £10.99 & this item Delivered FREE in the UK with Super Saver Delivery. See details and conditions
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Product Description

Wendy-Anne Lake
Alan Neale seems to have excelled... Told with extremely hilarious off-side comments,...Hilarity is finely honed with deep emotion

Book Description
This is a book about purchasing and transforming a house of appalling mediocrity and bad taste into one of acceptability and stylistic calm. ‘So what?’ you say. Well, apart from admonishing you for being quite so pointed and rude, I will then go on to reveal that, rather foolishly, we decided to live amongst the carnage that was the rebirth of a building.

It is a diary of a personal story, but contains most conceivable human scenes and sensations, with a plethora of emotional ups and downs, laughter and tears, pathos, angst, triumph, teetering disaster, frustration, relief, bad language and awful dress sense. I have enjoyed writing it, even if emphatically, I did not enjoy the overall experience, but it has proved to be strangely cathartic.

The premise of the book, and the journey through, sounds deceptively simple, but since the experience was totally unlike anything I imagined, the book follows the same somewhat unstable path. It takes some diversions along the way, since in reality this was necessary to retain some sanity, but then a dead straight passage is rarely as interesting as a meandering change in scene and direction. In any event, the only thing likely to have been either dead or straight during the past 2 years is likely to be inhabiting the kitchen freezer cabinet, although there were a few perilous days in January 2003 when the similarities between the kitchen and the freezer cabinet were hard to detect.

I could tell you that the book is split into three sections, but that would be like pointing out the inadequacies of our rail system – blindingly obvious. Suffice to say that Part 1 is the ‘Where and Why’ (a strange combination of desperation and inspiration), Part 2 is the ‘How – Pt I’ (parting the Red Sea might have been easier), while Part 3 is ‘How (on earth) – Pt II’ (sort of Texas Chain Saw Massacre meets Sound of Music within the arena of the Big Brother House).

I think to say any more would be so much expanded polystyrene – pointless (and very annoying) packaging.

Enjoy!

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