Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason: Amazon.co.uk: Alfie Kohn: Books

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Customer Reviews

13 Reviews

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4.3 out of 5 stars (13 customer reviews)

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40 of 40 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Changed the way I parent, 11 Aug 2006

By	Richie C - See all my reviews

This review is from: Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason (Paperback)

I have found this book fascinating and its really changed the way I parent. The 'using any method to get children to behave' principle is ingrained in our culture but the author argues very convincingly that this is very shortsighted.

Has really helped me view what I am doing with my children in another light and changed what I do

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26 of 26 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Completely changed the way I intereact with my child, 3 Mar 2008

By	Snowmoon (Norwich, UK) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason (Paperback)

Like most parents, I have tried start-charts, time-outs, naughty chair, sticker books, you name it. But at the back of my mind there had always been a niggling feeling that these traditional 'methods' were not the right way forward. Unconditional Parenting gave me the power to question those traditional beliefs and the tools to work with my child, to treat him with the respect and unconditional love that every child deserves. So often we enter into parenthood weighted down by our past - how we were treated by our parents. I'm so glad to be able to break that cycle. Read this book and stop treating your children as enemies who must be tamed and controlled.

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16 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Thank goodness I read this while my little one is still a baby - before it was too late!, 30 Mar 2008

By	R. L. Moss (St Helens, UK) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason (Paperback)

What I particularly love about this book is the fact Kohn uses real research and evidence to back up everything he says. Name me some *mainstream* parenting books that can cite as many studies as Kohn does!

And they all say the same thing. Punishments don't work. They don't work in the long term (after all, you wanted to raise a good *adult* didn't you? Not just a "good" child?) but even more surprisingly, they don't always work in the short term, either! And even more astoundingly... neither do rewards!

Thank goodness I read it now instead of waiting until my son had already been subjected to the mainstream (combative, detached, adversarial) parenting endorsed by our culture.

No, don't worry, Kohn does *not* just say "anything goes" and you should let your child do absolutely everything they want to; he gives excellent advice on how to lovingly guide your child into becoming a great adult... whilst not having a melt-down in the supermarket!

I would recommend this to anyone and everyone planning to be parents. I don't often say a book has changed my life, but this one has.

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Most Recent Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 stars If you only want one parenting book... this is the one!
An absolute revelation! Far from being a "lax parenting" bible, this book is a serious reminder that proper parenting is very hard work, but full of rewards. Read more

Published 25 days ago by Nadia Weekes

1.0 out of 5 stars Stating the obvious, no practical suggestions
Disappointed. You could summarise this book in one paragraph love your kids unconditionally and reason with them rather than placing conditions such as time outs, threats and... Read more

Published 28 days ago by Mr. Peter Burns

2.0 out of 5 stars Very disappointing, hyperbole
I had high hopes for this book considering the other reviews, while there are some very valid points and it definitely makes you stop and think about how you parent your children,... Read more

Published 1 month ago by Summertime

5.0 out of 5 stars empowering and humane parenting book
this book has prompted my first book review. i am a parent and a family worker and this book distils all that i have learned through experience, and backs it up with research... Read more

Published 5 months ago by A E Porter

5.0 out of 5 stars Good Premise
The book has a good premise. I think it will be a starting place for parents who really want to change the way they parent. Read more

Published 7 months ago by Ramiel Nagel

3.0 out of 5 stars Disappointed - grandiose plans but no substance
I really liked the central concept of the book, that is you should love your child unconditionally, success or failure, naughty or good, and that the child should know that they... Read more

Published 13 months ago by Freya Fowles

5.0 out of 5 stars Teaching pigeons to play table tennis
When I read psychology as a mature student, a fascinating character, BF Skinner stood out. His methods were all about stick and carrot, and form part of conventional... Read more

Published 17 months ago by Jack Stewart

5.0 out of 5 stars A MUST for all parents!
This book not only makes sense it makes being a parent so much more satisfying and enjoyable. I have been parenting my children in this way and it just gets better and better... Read more

Published 21 months ago by Sophie Boss

5.0 out of 5 stars find out why rewarding is as bad as punishment
I was given this book to read by a friend of mine who reads all parenting and birthing and other children related books, and I mean all of them, all she can lay her hands on :)... Read more

Published on 10 Jan 2007 by trikolka

5.0 out of 5 stars Essential Reading for Parents and Anyone Who Has Ever Been A Child
Alfie Kohn uses real research to back up his conclusions. The book is very readable and easy to understand but the ideas it contains could very well change your life and your... Read more

Published on 31 Jul 2006 by bumbledeb

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	65% buy the item featured on this page: Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason 4.3 out of 5 stars (13)
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Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason (Hardcover)

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