Carp Fishing on Valium (Hardcover)

Parker's debut novel has more than a hint of the autobiography it was not originally intended to be. But with an unhealthy level of knowlege of the music scene, the beautiful people and the ugly drugs, you cannot help but think of this novel as faction rather than fiction. Carp Fishing On Valium tells the story of Brian Porker, an average Joe with a definite atypical slant. The book begins during his childhood as a sensitive, bird-watching boy, but we are soon taken through his teenage years as a Moddy Boy living the Quadrophenia lifestyle to the full and later in his life through various levels of rock stardom on both sides of the Atlantic. Parker's witty approach to the sometimes traumatic events in Brian's life will leave you laughing out loud in disbelief as the wannabe rock star falls foul of everyone from his fed up, nagging wife to a drug-dealing psychopathic surgeon, to Keith Richards and the rest of the Stones who teach him that the truth really does hurt. With what is probably a 'drug of your choice' induced, laid back approach to life, Brian continues his existence in various guises from a jingle writer to a stand-up comedian who has his boyhood love of bird-watching revived. As each chapter ends Parker manages, with his nonconformist style, to leave you not only wondering what planet this man is from or what medication he is on and is he taking it but also desperate to pick the book up again for the next instalment of Brian's bizarre but surprisingly affecting and oddly poignant journey through life. An interesting first step into the literary world. (Kirkus UK)

From rock music legend Parker comes a debut collection of ten stories, only intermittently engaging, that chronicle the life of a young bird-egg enthusiast who grows up to be a jaded but respected figure in the rock n roll scene.Young Brian Porkers fascination for birds eggs in all their speckled glory, which is the subject of the first story, The Sheld-Duck of the Basingstroke Canal, turns him into an increasingly rapacious collector, until he accidentally drops one of the eggs, cracking it to reveal the fragile, still living form inside. This theme of real life overtaking fantasy is repeated later in Brians life, most notably in Me and the Stones, when the now-respected rocker Porker is invited by Keith Richards to audition to replace the newly dead Mick Jagger (run over by a bus after stumbling off a curb stoned), only to be rejectednot for his lack of musical ability but for the way he fills out his leather pants (or doesnt). While several tales deal with the crassness of the music life, others leave it behind to examine decidedly underclass themes, including encounters with thugs and punks, such as the one in the title story, about two skinheads who threaten Brian and a buddy as they drink and dope their way through a midlife fishing trip, until the buddy drops a name that sends the bully boys slinking away. Chloroform, one of the rawest and best pieces here, pits the pre-rock Brian against dead-end working conditions in an animal testing facility with a slow-witted co-worker, to whom Brian sells a motorbike on the installment plan, only to realize that the buyer hasnt understood the agreement.Despite some original touches, mostly in the earlier stories, the collection overall relies on familiar, effortless images of disillusionment and sordidness. (Kirkus Reviews)

Brian Porker is a dyspeptic and ageing rock star who can never turn down a piece of hash or coke, even when it's quite uncool. This is the story of his life from egg-collecting youth to ornithologist-comedian and everything in between.