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Bollocks to Alton Towers: Uncommonly British Days Out
 
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Bollocks to Alton Towers: Uncommonly British Days Out (Hardcover)

by Jason Hazeley (Author), Robin Halstead (Author), Joel Morris (Author), Alex Morris (Author)
4.3 out of 5 stars See all reviews (23 customer reviews)

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Product details

  • Hardcover: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Michael Joseph Ltd (28 April 2005)
  • Language English
  • ISBN-10: 071814791X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0718147914
  • Product Dimensions: 17.6 x 13.6 x 2.8 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
  • Amazon.co.uk Sales Rank: 90,640 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Product Description

Product Description
An endless train of cars snakes over the horizon towards an expensive afternoon spent amidst the deafening screams of people being splashed, thrown around and hassled by anonymous wannabes trapped in big furry costumes. Why? Is this really the best we can find to occupy our precious spare time? Is this honestly someone's idea of fun? Wouldn't it be better to go somewhere that everyone else hasn't - somewhere with somthing more interesting to say than 'have a nice day' or 'keep your hands inside the car while the ride is in motion'? This is your chance. Turn away from the theme park queue and take a wayward tour of the backwaters and byways of the British tourist trail, celebrating the small, fascinating and unique.

From the Inside Flap
The very best nooks and corners of British tourism. See the world's longest pencil, a mermaid's skeleton and a witch in a bottle. Explore the world's most terrifying bungalow, the village that was stolen and the Victorian theme park that's falling into the sea.

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What Do Customers Ultimately Buy After Viewing This Item?

Bollocks to Alton Towers: Uncommonly British Days Out
62% buy the item featured on this page:
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Customer Reviews

23 Reviews
5 star:
 (16)
4 star:
 (3)
3 star:
 (1)
2 star:    (0)
1 star:
 (3)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
4.3 out of 5 stars (23 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

 
53 of 55 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Better than a wet weekend in Fleetwood!, 24 Jun 2005
By A Customer
My 'young adult' kids bought this as my father's day present - revenge will be mind on our next cagoule clad thermos clutching day trip!

For all those of my generation ( approaching 50 too fast for comfort ) who suffered long childhood journeys in inadequately ventilated cars upholstered in warm black PVC, seaside metal spades so sharp they could take your toe off, and endless games of 'I spy'....this book is for you. With page turning and near 'brysonesk' humour and observation it makes you want more than anything to visit eccentric gems in far off reaches of Britain. Places you did not know existed, but will now add to your itinerary if you're in the area on your next holiday.

British understatement, with a slowly melting ice-cream cone of eccentric nostalgia thrown in.

Are the British the only people that have 'days out'? Does a day out mean leaving home for a period long enough to include at least one meal time? Do the French, or Germans, or even Americans go for 'proper days out'? The French probably go to the market, the Germans to sit in the park and eat too much, and the Americans to the superbowl, or megatrucks, or
Disneyland........but I bet non can compete with the British Lawnmower Museum in Southport, Mother Shipton's Cave and Dripping Well in Knaresborough, or even Gnome Magic in Colchester.

After reading the book you feel cheated that your local crowd-magnet was not listed, but then again do you want the great unwashed descending on your own private 'tourist trap' - I think not. BUY THIS BOOK>>>>>>it's brilliant.

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23 of 25 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Affectionately written labour of love, 14 Mar 2006
By J. D. Carter "Jasondavidcarter" (Sweden) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Bollocks to Alton Towers: Uncommonly British Days Out (Paperback)
It would have been so easy for this book to take the usual tongue in cheek route of mocking the not-quite-the-best that Britain has to offer its tourists. But instead the authors find the joy and charm in the smallest details of the British day out. Lovingly written and evocative it felt like a well meaning dad taking you to a museum 'because he should'. A book that makes you nostalgic for packed lunches and bracing holidays by the sea. I absolutely adore this book, and can't help coming back to it time and time again.
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14 of 15 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars weird but funny, 29 April 2007
By Ms. H. Hughes (wales, UK) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Bollocks to Alton Towers: Uncommonly British Days Out (Paperback)
This book, written by some very annoyed-sounding blokes with a wicked sense of humour, is a guide to Britain's less commercial, more eccentric attractions (pencil museum anyone?) as opposed to just slouching sheep-like off to alton towers or any other theme park where it's considered fun to get vomitted on.

The perfect antidote to the sickly-sweet disney version of "fun", this book lists weird and wonderful places where you can find you own entertainment without anyone telling you to "have a nice day!" or trying to spoon-feed you educational material. Have you, for instance, ever considered visiting the bagpipe museum in northern England or perhaps the ex-"SECRET NUCLEAR BUNKER" in Kent?

I especially enjoyed the entry for "The Ark": a house which isn't even open to the public but is recommended for the sole fact that if you drive past, one day you might catch a glimpse of Jesus (read the book if you want to know what I'm talking about).

Even if you do enjoy sitting in puke-encrusted rollercoasters, it's still worth buying this book for it's typical british humour - I did actually nearly wet myself in places.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

1.0 out of 5 stars Huh?! :S
Ur hello! Lawn Mower Museum!!!
Whoever wrote this book obviously aimed it at older folk who need some inspiration. Cough cough! Read more
Published 1 month ago by Mrs. J. M. Neal

1.0 out of 5 stars Bollocks
I searched for this book under 'comedy' and have to say it hardly raises the mouth corners at any point or at least the third I read didn't. Read more
Published 10 months ago by jonny vegas

5.0 out of 5 stars You just have to visit. . . . . .
I was intrigued by the title and after having visited Alton Tovers, the sentiment of the title was the first attraction for me. Read more
Published 18 months ago by Tox

4.0 out of 5 stars Highlights the less visited attractions in the UK
Intriguing title - I happen to like Alton Towers. It's not just Alton Towers the writers are disdainful towards but theme parks in general, along with any attraction that is... Read more
Published 20 months ago by accadia

5.0 out of 5 stars do not read in public!
I found this book a tremendously funny, oh so accurate about the eccentricities of the British public, and should come with a warning `not to be read on public transport' for fear... Read more
Published 23 months ago by P. LOWE

5.0 out of 5 stars Weird but funny
This book, written by some very annoyed-sounding blokes with a wicked sense of humour, is a guide to Britain's less commercial, more eccentric attractions (pencil museum anyone? Read more
Published on 12 Aug 2006 by Ms. H. Hughes

5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant!
As someone who often finds themselves in search of 'different' days out in Britain, this book served it's purpose beautifully. It's very funny, very British and very quirky. Read more
Published on 26 April 2006 by Christine Richards

5.0 out of 5 stars Uniquely British Attractions That Are Worth Treasuring
I bought this after hearing a radio interview with the authors that made me laugh and the book did the same. Read more
Published on 26 April 2006 by C. M. Perkins

5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful book
A fantastic book that makes you proud to be British. Well written and funny, and completely accurate. Read more
Published on 11 April 2006 by Mark

4.0 out of 5 stars Childhood days out revisited
The authors obviously had great fun writing this book, and visiting the off-the-wall attractions which they describe so clearly. Read more
Published on 6 April 2006 by Sarah Blake

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