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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
A must read if your situation is in crisis, 17 Nov 1997
By A Customer
I disagree with the comments by sls04@sprynet.com. I believe this is an excellent book but it should not be the only source of reference. Wiener-Davis approach is perhaps the best approach when the situation has reached such a crisis level. In my opinion once the situation is out of crisis then a long term approach should be used to follow-up. Which is why I rate this book an 8 rather than 10. While I am currently going through a divorce, my wife used as her explanation of wanting a divorce, "YOU DID NOT MEET MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS". I was comsumed with guilt until I read the SAME QUOATION in Wiener-Davis' book and the reason people use this as an excuse of wanting out of their marriage. DIVORCE BUSTING help me realize that this was not MY problem but my wife's own failure to interject other external activities into her life. With that I was able to arm myself emotionally and was able to confront my wife with the truth about herself and her situation. My wife's inability to turn the mirror to herself and her unwillingness to change and lack of comittment has led her to take the "easy" way out via blame. DIVORCE BUSTING also help save my friend's marriage. But in his case both him and his wife read the book and both decided to make changes. In fact I'd venture to say that their situation was worst. However they both are committed to each other. Another thing I'd like to point out is Wiener-Davis' assessment of counselors. I can attest to this first hand. During the crisis my counselor labeled me as "passive aggressive". This labelling help "validate" my wife's position. Such labelling only inflames the situation and such labelling is ineffective. For example, is my 9y/o engaged in "passive aggressive" behavior if I have to call his name three time to get his attention. This is the type of ineffective counselling that occurs during a crisis that often assist the other party toward divorce rather than reconciliation. Dispite sls04@sprynet.com comments I highly recommend this book. There is much too much divorce and often times, I believe, marriages can be salvaged.
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by WEINER DAVIS
by Ed Wheat
by Michele Weiner-Davis
by Howard Markman
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