Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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27 of 27 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Loved this book! It changed all our lives!!!, 20 Aug 1999
By A Customer
My husband and I both loved this book so much and it gave us such great perspective on our children, now 5 and 2 1/2. We have both really relaxed as parents after reading this book and we have gained such a greater understanding into ourselves and why we react to our children the way we do. When my children were both babies, I did not worry about their behavior and was able to give them unconditional love and support. As they got older though, my expectations of them increased and I became uncomfortable with their behavior in many instances (temper tantrums, rude to other adults, unable to share -- normal stuff!). Before reading this book, I constantly worried that my children might end up as "brats" and so much of my son's behavior I interpretted as bratty or felt that if I did not "crack down" on him, he'd end up a "brat." He was continually being put in time outs and worse, spanking him was not unusual. My husband and I hated the constant battles and disciplinary actions which we dreded enforcing and thought there must be a better way. After coming to terms with the way we were parented, we are able to respond calmly and with understanding (most of the time!) when my children do something inappropriate, as opposed to reacting with discipline and control. I now try to take time to look at the behavior objectively and determine if the behavior really does need to be corrected, or if the behavior is normal for where they are at developmentally I am just reacting because of my own personal "baggage." As a result, my relationship with them has GREATLY improved and our home is in harmony most of the time. We have only rarely spanked our child since reading this book and are working toward removing this from our parenting style altogether (difficult for us, since we were both routinely and often spanked as chilren). I can almost always talk my very high-spirited 2 1/2 year old out of a temper tantrum, instead of getting angry/upset or ignoring her and having it escalate from there. It is so touching to me, too that she has started coming to me after she's composed herself after a tantrum or start of one and, completely unsolicited say "Sorry, Mommy" and give me a hug and a kiss because through my love, understanding and empathy, she is learning on her own that tantrums are not the best way to deal with life's problems! My children are generally very cooperative and loving. We are working toward mutual respect and trust for each other for a lifetime. I now see my children obey me out of this love and respect, and not because of fear of punishment. I highly recommend this book to any parent who is unhappy with their current parenting style that may be based on control or intimidation of the children.
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6 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A must read for any parent that loves his or her child., 2 Jan 1999
By A Customer
Harville Hendrix and his wife, Helen, write with humor, humility, and humanity. They offer parents a clear and simple (albeit challenging) plan for developing caring, compassionate, competitive and courageous children. Read it and use it to give your children one of the best gifts in life--- a great start in life. Perhaps Dr. Hendrix's greatest accomplishment is in becoming to readers the loving and wise father and mother that he was cheated from when they both died by the time Harville was six years old.
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3 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Ugh., 25 Feb 1999
By A Customer
I had been told this book supposedly cuts through some of the junk that books of this type suffer from, and was looking forward to it because of that. Unfortunately, it managed to completely dash my hopes on the jagged rocks of inanity. Maybe my expectations were too high, but I was completely disappointed in the lack of practicality in this book. Sure to be a big winner with the intelligentsia in the psychiatric / psychological communities; but every bit as sure to be a loser when it comes to giving solid, practical advice to normal, everyday parents like me.
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