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18 of 18 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Stress Relief for Those Overly Busy with Work and Family, 15 May 2004
This book is designed for the work-obsessed, and will be most valuable to women who have both demanding jobs and busy home responsibilities. It is easy to turn the demands of others into a compulsion to work all the time. In that process, you can lose sight of yourself and the purposes you want to serve. The main weakness of this book is that it has you take on a great many new activities without letting most of them continue long enough to become good, new habits. Converted into a book from 52 weekly on-line newsletters, this book would have been greatly improved by editing it into a less demanding regimen with more repetition and fewer new things to do. Ms. Richardson is a personal coach, and normally meets with her clientele weekly to check on how they are doing and to give them new direction. She has attempted to match that model by encouraging you to find a friend or a group to provide support for you, and to prescribe (blindly) exercises for your weekly pursuit. Although this one-size-fits-all approach may work fine for some, for many it will not be optimal. I suggest a different approach. Treat this book as a resource guide instead. Start by reading the whole book. Make notes about which sections relate to problems that you are sure you have, and are having trouble dealing with. Then think about how solving these problems with help you have a better life. Next, reorder the sequences to get help for yourself in the areas where you need it first. When doing this, continue with a set of exercises until they become new and improving habits before taking on the next thing. Otherwise, I think you will find your busy schedule simply filled up with new self-oriented activities. If you are not careful, this will just create a different kind of stress, being busier and having spent more money. Most people will find that they need to repeat something 45 to 60 times before it becomes a firmly entrenched habit. Since many of these exercises are to be pursued once a day, I suspect that you will be able to add a new exercise (unless you have a lot of spare time) only about every 6-9 weeks rather than once a week. So if you found all of these exercises helpful, it would take several years to make the adjustment. I see that as good, rather than as slow progress. If you made 4 or 5 major changes in important areas for you in the next year, that would be an exceptionally good year for personal progress. Once you are ready to begin, I commend the first two weeks to you. The first one suggests that you begin by "acknowledging yourself for what you've already acomplished and . . . who you've become over the last year." This perspective is a good one for thinking about where you need to focus and how much progress you need. The second one calls for goal setting. Writing down your goals is the best advice in this book. If you review those goals regularly, you will undoubtedly make a lot of progress. Research on personal progress continuously validates that method to progress. The rest of the book is mostly a set of techniques to break you out of old habits and routines, so that you consciously choose how you focus and spend your time. Having taken a lot of self-improvement courses, I agree with her advice to both keep a journal in many of these areas and to regularly check in with your buddy or self-help group. That provides perspective, structure, as well as motivation to continue. Early in the process, be sure to do one or more of the exercises that is designed to help you reduce your commitments. Otherwise, you will become even more overwhelmed. You have to start doing less of something unimportant before you can do more of something important. This book seems to encourage a lot of self-indulgence . . . massages, new goodies for the house or office, and relaxation. However, that may not be what's missing for you. You may need more excitement and company. So part of the answer may be to go skiing more often, and to have that experience be more companionable by doing it with family and those you love. After you have done the exercises that make the most sense to you, I suggest that you try a few that don't. Sometimes it's hard to understand a message about something you haven't experienced before. For example, I don't like to tidy up, and this book encourages that a lot. I plan to do some straightening up to see if that does add something for me psychologically that I am missing. The exercises and resource materials referred to in the book are stronger than the 52 essays. For that reason, I suggest that you focus on the exercises and resource materials. In the areas where you decide to focus, read at least some of one book on the resource list. The essay material here is pretty sketchy and will not be enough to shift your focus otherwise. After you have finished with the program you have designed, I suggest that you repeat the process I have outlined here. Having had more experience as your own personal coach, you'll be in a better position to design and implement the next program you pursue. If you are no longer overly busy and stressed, consider what besides time and repose are missing from your life and rebalance to create more in those most missing areas. Be deliberate in designing your life to fit what makes you most satisfied with yourself! Then, you can be yourself . . . naturally.
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