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20 of 20 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
The title is a little daunting, but it really makes sense, 28 Nov 2001
By A Customer
Abusive relationships have now reached epidemic status in our society!I have learned some valuable, if not life-saving, lesssons from this book. I had a friend who was beaten by her now ex-husband and couldn't understand why she would tolerate such behaviour. It is a very complex issue, and when I read this book (along with many others - so I have a very rounded experience of such literature - and am not a man-hater), I began to realise that my parents were toxic and that my father's outlook on and approach to life and the legacy he left me, has damaged my self-esteem and consequent expectations of relationships. I have questioned my values over and over again trying to understand why I was unhappy in my marriage, and now I finally understand why! The pattern of abuse was repeating itself through me! I am not to blame for whatever my husband decides to blame me for because he can't deal with - and so projects onto me - his emotional problems! Fortunately, I have learned to cope, through changing my expectations of relationships and life in general. There is hope!! I am still with my husband. I am living consciously now and he is slightly 'inconvenienced' that I am happier now that I value myself more. However, respecting yourself is the only way to lead a happy, fulfilling life!! I am glad I didn't leave my husband as I now know what was wrong with our relationship and how to deal with it, rather than going on to another abusive relationship whereby I repeat the same mistakes over and over again in a futile attempt to try to correct the past. This subject does take a lot of research and understanding, and councelling is good. Fortunately there is increasing awareness of this epidemic in society, and this book, along with "Toxic Parents", helps.
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by Susan Forward
