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When I Say No, I Feel Guilty: How to Cope, Using the Skills of Systematic Assertive Therapy

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When I Say No, I Feel Guilty: How to Cope, Using the Skills of Systematic Assertive Therapy (Mass Market Paperback)

by Manuel J. Smith (Author)

4.4 out of 5 stars See all reviews (17 customer reviews)

Price:	�7.99 & this item Delivered FREE in the UK with Super Saver Delivery. See details and conditions
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Product details

Mass Market Paperback: 352 pages
Publisher: Bantam USA; Reissue edition (31 Dec 1975)
Language English
ISBN-10: 0553263900
ISBN-13: 978-0553263909
Product Dimensions: 17.3 x 10.4 x 2.8 cm

Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars See all reviews (17 customer reviews)

Amazon.co.uk Sales Rank: 50,545 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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	72% buy the item featured on this page: When I Say No, I Feel Guilty: How to Cope, Using the Skills of Systematic Assertive Therapy 4.4 out of 5 stars (17) �7.99
	8% buy Assertiveness At Work: A Practical Guide to Handling Awkward Situations 5.0 out of 5 stars (4) �8.99
	8% buy A Woman in Your Own Right: Assertiveness and You 4.6 out of 5 stars (9) �5.19
	7% buy The Disease To Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome 5.0 out of 5 stars (2) �6.99

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Customer Reviews

17 Reviews

5 star:		(12)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(2)

Average Customer Review

4.4 out of 5 stars (17 customer reviews)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

35 of 37 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Most Useful Book That I Have Ever Read, 13 Aug 1999

By A Customer

Many years have passed since I first bought and read Dr. Smith's revolutionary book. I have never found any techniques so universally applicable for dealing with people who don't care about fairness or my feelings. I have successfully used the broken record and fogging techniques to deal with manipulative relatives who want to tell me what to do "to help me" and self-disclosure and the broken record to convince store employees to accept back defective merchandise even if their store policy "doesn't allow" them to do this! This book taught me how to stand up for myself and stop trying to solve everyone else's problems (the store's agreement with a manufacturer or distributor)and focus on getting what I have paid for. I am smiling as I write this because I have just returned from a trip to a major toy retailer whose store manager refused to take back a defective stroller "because you don't have the box." Needless to say, after using Dr. Smith's methods, the manager gave me full credit on my credit card within fifteen minutes. I never needed to become unpleasant or raise my voice. Dr. Smith should be cannonized by the "doormats" of the world. You will be doing yourself a favor if you buy this book!

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14 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A must read, 30 Jan 2004

By	James Coltman "James Coltman" (London) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

So many of us have difficulty asserting our true feelings. How many times have you blown up at someone about something that has nothing to do with the real issue?

This book teaches you that it is okay to express your needs. In an easy to read style Manuel Smith explains the tools that you can use in day to day life to help you be more assertive. He backs his theories up with solid examples that will give you the confidence to put them into practice.

Being assertive doesn't always mean you win confrontations, but after reading this book you will be able to confidently say "No" without feeling guilty.

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14 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The book where my life started to change, 15 Jun 2001

By A Customer

This books gave me a completely different prospective on communicating with other people. In a moment in my life when I was desperate to rise to the heights of sophisticated office politics and "fit" into them I learned that there are other ways to realise my goals and achieve what I want - and a better and simpler. This book is about being assertive, non-manipulative and not allowing to be manipulated either. Once you understand the concept it is brilliant and simple - and applies universally in all life situations. Although I thought that some of the examples of personal liberty provided by the author were somewhat extreme - this only proves the point of the book about not doing what you "should", i.e. don't take it as a literate instruction how to solve your problems.

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Most Recent Customer Reviews

1.0 out of 5 stars absolute nonsense
this book is complete tripe.

it claims men withdraw from women sexually, which is totally unfair and the theories and ideas in it are near impossible to test out as... Read more

Published 2 months ago by T. E. Roberts

4.0 out of 5 stars Extremely useful advice for anyone who knows they are a "soft touch"!
I've had this book for many years, and had cause yesterday to refer to it for advice for a friend. She had accepted a social invitation which she then regretted and still had time... Read more

Published 2 months ago by hiljean

5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful
I read this book way back in the 80s when it first came out and found it tremendously useful vis a vis how to deal with a rather demanding relative and not chew myself to bits... Read more

Published on 16 Mar 2007 by Anastasia Brown

1.0 out of 5 stars When I Say No, I Feel Guilty: How to Cope..........
My husband and I thought that this would be just the book to develop our assertiveness having read previous reviews. Read more

Published on 28 Oct 2005

5.0 out of 5 stars When I Say No I Feel Guilty
I found this book extreemly usefal, I always thought by using the broken record technic I would be considered a rude person, but this book shows just how it can be used without... Read more

Published on 16 Jun 2005

5.0 out of 5 stars An excellent book
This book really helped me with being assertive. I didn't really think I needed much help in this area as I thought I was quite an assertive person except when it comes to asking... Read more

Published on 4 Jun 2005

5.0 out of 5 stars Written 30 years ago but still valid
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. Even though it has been published in 1975, almost 30 years ago, the observations of the author are still valid today. Read more

Published on 25 Aug 2004 by estherrehtse

4.0 out of 5 stars Good all round book
I bought this book for my wife to be at Christmas as she tends to get pushed around a bit here and there, and ended up reading part of it myself. Read more

Published on 4 Jan 2004 by Deanne Beech

5.0 out of 5 stars Great examples and tecniques for avoiding controlling people
I read this several years ago and still use the tools he describes to stop people from controlling my actions. Read more

Published on 5 May 1999

5.0 out of 5 stars excellent for dealing with others and insecurities
I found this book to be excellent in helping me, making my own decisions about myself and not worring about how others felt about everything I did in my life, I found I don't... Read more

Published on 26 Jan 1999

› See all 17 customer reviews...

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