Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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134 of 135 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Insightful, worthy advice, 3 Sep 2004
By A Customer
I'm a cynic and not one for self-help books, preferring psychology to explain any issues - and I was wary that this was a self-help book. It had all the traits; a bit of a nauseating title laid out in a bad font on a bland cover, had an accolade from the author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus on the back etc...but, it's a very good book, in the vein of Irving D. Yalom. It uses a sympathetic tone to diagnose in a balanced manner, the pros and cons of this personality type, using case studies, cognitive therapy and good old common sense. I'd been struggling with some 'things' and came across the highly sensitive person theory on the internet, which apparently has only come about in recent years, and the more i read about it, the more i felt it totally explained my characteristics. When i saw this book, one of only a few out there as far as i can gather, i thought 'what the hell, it won't hurt'. I was expecting to sift through some bumpf and fluff and get the odd helpful insight, but I've found it to be an amazingly helpful book, which has had an effect like few others. This is the first time i've ever felt compelled to write a review on amazon and I can't recommend it enough. So if you think you're perceived as shy even though you know you're not, if you feel overpowered for some reason, if you feel you have insights that other people don't see, if sometimes you feel like things have lead to you having low-self esteem without knowing why or having a particularly good reason, then give this a go.
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54 of 55 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Un-puttable-downable, 8 Jul 2006
One of the three truly sustaining, and 'un-puttable-downable' books I have read this century.
Aron says a lot of "highly sensitive" people don't appreciate this quality in themselves. The core idea is that some of us are in tune with the subtle, the spiritual, the gentle, loving and kind, and enjoy quiet .... and the flip side is that we are easily overwhelmed (and maybe flare up) by excess stimulus. Whereas most of humanity, in the West anyhow (and especially Americans), appreciate lots of stimulus -- as can be seen from the restless noise everywhere in our cities and the cultural enthusiam for what is "new", "exciting" and an "adventure".
If you are "highly sensitive" (you can find and use Aron's test online to find out) and don't know it, or if you know it but don't love it in you, you may find warmth, comfort and encouragement to be yourself through this book. If someone you love is "highly sensitive", perhaps you will come to understand them better.
Valuable for counsellors too for the same reason: helpful for understanding people.
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72 of 75 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
One not to miss, 24 Mar 2001
By A Customer
Assuming the reader is an HSP (probably most are, like me), the author describes us: "It means you are aware of subtleties in your surroundings...It also means you are more easily overwhelmed when you have been out in a highly stimulating environment for too long, bombarded by sights and sounds until you are exhausted in a nervous-system sort of way...You pick up on the subtleties that others miss. And so naturally you also arrive quickly at the level of arousal past which you are no longer comfortable. That first fact about you could not be true without the second being true as well. It's a package deal, and a very good package." I would agree. I thought I was from another galaxy. I feel stronger knowing that there are enough people out there like me that someone has finally studied us and identified our traits. And now I know why most people don't see the things I do and come to some of the same conclusions. Highly sensitive doesn't mean that we cringe and cry at every little thing that happens or doesn't go our way. It means we are introverted -- we don't get our energy from other people, but from ourselves, from within. This means we require more time to ourselves than most people (about 20% of society is introverted). It doesn't mean that we don't like other people -- we are extremely social beings. What it does mean is that we pick up on slight non-verbal and verbal types of communication that slip past most folks. To complicate matters, it is no secret that Western society does not favor the introverted, and the value of HSPs is generally unrecognized. In fact, the role of many HSPs throughout history has been among the ethical thinkers and leaders, the givers of inspiration. Aron herself is a research psychologist, psychotherapist, and an HSP. Being highly sensitive is her trait, too, and she is right in there with us as she brings credibility to the various problems and issues discussed in this book. She offers facts, case studies, coping and transforming behaviors, and discussion on understanding the trait, general health and medications, re-parenting yourself, social interaction, career choices, relationships and gender issues, and spiritual considerations. I'd make this book required reading for teachers, employers, therapists, and everyone else. Don't ever tell a child they're too sensitive for their own good or help them "overcome" their sensitivity. Revel in it, celebrate it, and support it. Everyone wins.
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by Elaine N. Aron
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