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The Emotionally Abused Woman: Overcoming Destructive Patterns and Reclaiming Yourself

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The Emotionally Abused Woman: Overcoming Destructive Patterns and Reclaiming Yourself (Paperback)

by Beverley Engel (Author)

4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (3 customer reviews)

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Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

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Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft
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Product details

Paperback: 244 pages
Publisher: Fawcett Books; 1st Ballantine Books Ed edition (7 Oct 1993)
Language English
ISBN-10: 0449906442
ISBN-13: 978-0449906446
Product Dimensions: 20.1 x 13 x 1.5 cm

Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (3 customer reviews)

Amazon.co.uk Sales Rank: 132,047 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Product Description

Synopsis

Explains how to identify abusive people and situations, what factors can lead to emotional abuse in adulthood, and what attracts women to abusive people.

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	35% buy the item featured on this page: The Emotionally Abused Woman: Overcoming Destructive Patterns and Reclaiming Yourself 4.0 out of 5 stars (3) �6.23
	30% buy Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men 5.0 out of 5 stars (47) �8.28
	14% buy The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing 5.0 out of 5 stars (3) �6.67
	13% buy Stalking the Soul: Emotional Abuse and the Erosion of Identity 4.2 out of 5 stars (13) �6.98

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Customer Reviews

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4.0 out of 5 stars (3 customer reviews)

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44 of 47 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Read this for your own self-esteem., 12 Dec 1996

By A Customer

Engel gives a concise description of what emotional abuse is, and the types of abusers and victims. She helps to uncover the patterns and reasons for abuse, ways to recover from it. Like many women in emotionally abusive relationships, it was very difficult for me to even see it occurring. Her book is a constant reminder of how to stop the cycle, both for me and for my children.

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42 of 59 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Too much based on sterotypical reasons and social myths, 14 Jul 2005

By	Angel "Angel" (Uk) - See all my reviews

If you are an abused woman where the abuse has left you feeling blameful, shameful, guilty and possessing a fragile frame I would strongly not recommend this book as a self help instead purchase a book such as Lundy Bancroft 'Why does he do that? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men' along with the book 'stalking the soul - emotional abuse and the erosion of identity' by Marie-France Hirigoyen. I simply state this as having read the book 'The abused woman' the author Engel continuasouly labels emotional abuse has having stemed from women that where abused in childhood and seems to suggest that these women continue to seek this abusive patterns by seeking out abusive men. She doesn't explore the complex nature of such a situation and other issues surrounding victimisation or abuse nor does she place the responsibility on the abuser but on the victim itself therefore intensifying false feeling of self-blame. She doesn't ask the real question which is why do men do this and why does society let them get away with it? By focusing on these issue's of the victims childhood she is shifting the problem on the victim rather than the abuser. Her knowledge is therefore based on social myths and stereotypical factors not on intense and sensitive research. There are no voices of actual victims in the book. Also, going back to her childhood theory, whether a childhood may have left a victim vulnerable to abuse or not this does not abolish the abuser from his actions and for some victims whether victimised in childhood or not they are not necessarily seeking an abusive partner consciously or unconsciously. On the contrary if someone has been abused as a child other factors to consider is that they would want to end their pain and suffering or having been a witness to someone abusing someone they loved as a parent and seeing that individual suffer would make them want to better themselves and not follow the parents suffering, in some cases rather than be victimised in a relationship they could become abusive. In addition when categorising the different types of women, Engel seems to stereotype women as passive, fragile, vulnerable, dependent etc...women are not necessarily weak creatures and those that tend to be abused will be also strong, will powered, determinated, intellegent and attractive women that are abused because controlling and angry men that abuse are envious beings, insecure of themselves. It does no justice to women as a gender or as a victim. I don't feel that this book anaylses all driven aspects of abuse nor does it really seek to understand and sympathies with the abused. It puts victims all in boxes and lables them, the only reason really given to victims is the suggestion of there abused childhood that is too cliche for my opinion and the victim. I personally found it more self destructing than self constructive but this is my own opinion yet as a former victim I feel that my opinion of it has some credibility.

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book, 14 Aug 2008

By	timeline (UK) - See all my reviews

I am just re-reading this book for the 2nd time and it is absolutely brilliant. Beverley Engel writes like a best friend/the therapist you wish you had, encouraging you to sort out your destructive past once and for all and to become your own person.
I recommend this book to anyone who feels their parent's personalities have had a negative effect on who they are. It gives very clear and readable explanations and examples of how this comes about and what to do about it, so you can move on and be who you were meant to be before your childhood warped your true self! Thank you Beverley Engel!

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