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19 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
this book got me out of a big hole, 13 Oct 2004
By A Customer
It's My Life Now was a real find. After leaving an abusive relationship, with all the adrenalin rush and crisis support, you have to deal with the longer term effects of how the experience has changed you. How do you feel about yourself and your life, after someone has controlled and belittled you for so long?I was very low and anxious, felt "stuck in my recovery" and knew I needed some structure to deal with these kinds of issues. I was initially wary of this book as it is American and co-written by a man, but neither was an issue. This book is very practical, has lots of exercises and ideas of how to move on. It encourages you to assess your own progress by repeating exercises over time. It gives a very straightforward explanation for how abuse gets established, enabling you to reject the idea of blaming yourself for staying (this section is a good one to share with others who don't understand the dynamics). What I found particularly useful was the approach of the authors - written in sympathetic, encouraging, non-judgemental and non-patronising style. This was very affirming. The sections on being let down by friends and families responses (more common than you might expect) and how to support your kids were spot-on. Don't make the mistake, as I did to start with, of trying to read this book cover to cover. This is a book to dip into and pace yourself with. I feel I will return to it many times over the coming years. This is also a great book for professionals who have supported women to leave abuse - to have as a lending resource. Though don't expect it back!
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