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It's My Life Now: Starting Over After an Abusive Relationship or Domestic Violence
 
 
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It's My Life Now: Starting Over After an Abusive Relationship or Domestic Violence (Paperback)

by Meg Dugan (Author), Roger R. Hock (Author) "If a couple tells you they never disagree, never argue, never fight, you have to assume one of two things: One, they aren't being completely..." (more)
4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)

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Product Description

Product Description

This text is for women who have recently left an abusive relationship and are attempting to face the challenge of putting their lives back together. During this difficult period, women who have managed to leave the relationship are faced with the scary and daunting prospect of living independently, rebuilding self-esteem and self-worth, and learning how to establish healthy relationships in the future. Many are tempted to return to the abuser and have to mend or re-establish relationships with friends or family. This book provides accessible practical information on how to protect yourself once you've left the relationship, how to get through the difficult emotions that accompany leaving an abusive relationship, and includes exercises that are designed to help women monitor their emotional progress as they get further away from their old relationships.


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If a couple tells you they never disagree, never argue, never fight, you have to assume one of two things: One, they aren't being completely truthful with you or, two, there is something seriously wrong with their relationship. Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews

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4.0 out of 5 stars (3 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

 
19 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars this book got me out of a big hole, 13 Oct 2004
By A Customer
It's My Life Now was a real find. After leaving an abusive relationship, with all the adrenalin rush and crisis support, you have to deal with the longer term effects of how the experience has changed you. How do you feel about yourself and your life, after someone has controlled and belittled you for so long?

I was very low and anxious, felt "stuck in my recovery" and knew I needed some structure to deal with these kinds of issues. I was initially wary of this book as it is American and co-written by a man, but neither was an issue.

This book is very practical, has lots of exercises and ideas of how to move on. It encourages you to assess your own progress by repeating exercises over time. It gives a very straightforward explanation for how abuse gets established, enabling you to reject the idea of blaming yourself for staying (this section is a good one to share with others who don't understand the dynamics).

What I found particularly useful was the approach of the authors - written in sympathetic, encouraging, non-judgemental and non-patronising style. This was very affirming. The sections on being let down by friends and families responses (more common than you might expect) and how to support your kids were spot-on.

Don't make the mistake, as I did to start with, of trying to read this book cover to cover. This is a book to dip into and pace yourself with. I feel I will return to it many times over the coming years.

This is also a great book for professionals who have supported women to leave abuse - to have as a lending resource. Though don't expect it back!

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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars This book is giving me my life back....THANK YOU, 16 May 2004
By Essie Desamours (Atlanta, GA USA) - See all my reviews
I have been out of my abusive relationship for one month. This book is giving me guidance and comfort. I and my daughter are in counseling but, in between my visits, I read this book and it is so applicable to my life. I just feel like shouting to the world that I am healing and no one can stop me. I am going to be a better person than I was before my abuser came into my life. I just wanted to thank the authors of this book. You two are a God send. I can't thank you enough. I have already recommended your book to two women just getting out of an abusive relationship.
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4 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars Two and a half stars, 23 Sep 2004
By A Customer
Parts of the book were quite useful, covering, for instance, the reaction of others and the sense of loss of an intimate relationship (even a bad one) but I found most of the book pretty run-of-the-mill self-help book stuff. The 'tick-the-box rate yourself' assessments at the end of some chapters were pretty useless. 'Tick how many times each of the feelings occur' and 'rate the severity of your feelings on a scale of 0 to 10' showed nothing. The child assessment was laughable, including rating the frequency and intensity of 'not having fun' and placing an asterix by 'suicial thoughts?' to show this 'should be of great concern'.
What can I say?
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