Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Beautifully crafted but dark autobiography, 12 Aug 2008
This could be dismissed as just another tragic life story. And if you expect it to be as light and self mocking as his previous books, all of which I've read, you will be disappointed. But it is the sheer magic of his writing that moves me. If writing is communicating then for me he does it in spades. Small birds have eyes "like little seeds" and when a young friend disappears from his group in a crowd, the three remaining hunt for him frantically like "ballerinas on their individual music boxes". It is the story of his relationship, or lack of, from his cold father living in his dysfunctional family. It's not much of a giggle. The final scene, when, in adulthood, he witnessed the love a father feels for his son first hand moved me so much I could not describe it to a friend without breakding down. I don't care whether this is true or not; that hardly matters. It's not what he says but how he says it. I've tried to read two books since and tossed them aside. He's a mighty hard act to follow.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Having a Sociopath for a Father, 5 May 2008
I have read all of Augusten Burroughs' books. Because he is so brutally honest, it's easy to feel as if you know him when you read him. I've felt that way-- as he shares so much and obviously grows emotionally with each book. He had one of the most horrible childhoods imaginable, yet recounts those incidents with an acerbic sense of humor. As readers, we laugh-- but we laugh at the absurdity of the situation. The situation itself was often not quite as funny. It's almost amazing Burroughs survived many of the events he lived through. Another reviewer stated that he survived 'unscathed'. I wouldn't really agree-- I think he survived with some deep emotional scars. Yet, these scars haven't prevented him from managing to work through these issues to lead a worthwhile and loving life. Most people would be permanently damaged-- Augusten Burroughs is truly an incredible and insightful and lucky human being.
It seems as if only the other day I read Burroughs' last book, Possible Side Effects. Yet, I just discovered this book was published and immediately ordered it. I received it this afternoon and finished it this evening.
Not having read any of the reviews at all, I wasn't sure what to expect but I immediately noticed that this book was entirely different from all his previous books. This is an incredible memoir of living with a sociopathic parent. In his past books, he talks about his mother's mental illness, but glosses over his father's. If you read this, you can understand why. He had to be ready to write this. I imagine that writing this book must have been unimaginably painful. Some people would have NEVER been ready to write this. Consequently, it would have been impossible to really mention these events in other books without then devoting the entire book to the father. This book fills in the missing pieces you might have thought existed in Running with Scissors: A Memoir (which, up until now, I thought was the best memoir I've read). In that book, the mother comes off as the crazy one and the father may actually come off as the sometime victim. If you saw the movie Running With Scissors (a brilliant film wrongly marketed as a comedy), you might even feel some unwarranted sympathy for the father and only disdain for his narcissistic mother. However, there was so much more to his story and it's all here.
Augusten Burroughs never refers to his father as a sociopath, but his father fit the very definition. He was completely devoid of any empathy, any love, any concern; a hollow man and an empty shell-- yet full of rage and cruelty. Calculating, he was able to show a different face to the public and saved his mask of kindness for strangers. He was entirely unable and unwilling to show any care to his sons or his wife.
Burroughs recalls many specific events that occurred in his youth-- horribly frightening events that are almost too terrible to contemplate. I was actually going to include a few of these events here, but I decided to delete them. They have to actually be read in context to be believed.
There is one event, though, that Augusten has a memory of from when he was very young. This one includes helping his dad bury a body. It's remained with him for all these years and Burroughs admits he doesn't know if it's true or not. It FEELS true. For decades it has haunted him (and still does) and for years he'd check the internet for any unsolved murders in Amherst during that time frame. That one memory also caused him years of disturbing recurrent dreams where he'd be committing murder and hiding the body.
Finally, as an adult, he decided to find a way to confront his father-- hoping to find that the dream had no basis in reality. Burroughs presented an absurd scenario to his father hoping for the reaction any normal person would give. Instead, the response his father gave Augusten was chilling.
This book is difficult to read. It's one of the saddest stories I have read, yet it is ultimately uplifting, since Augusten presently has a happy and successful life-- and more importantly, a kind and gentle soul. This is the best memoir I've read and I highly recommend it.
Also recommended: The Sociopath Next Door
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0 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Self indulgent drivel, 23 Jun 2008
I really wanted to like this book, having had an alcoholic father myself I thought this would be something I could identify and empathise with. Unfortunately as the book went on it was more of a litany of minor crimes (didn't hug me, Didn't buy me cookies when I asked, only brought me food instead of money etc).I kept waiting for the 'monster' to emerge, whuch ultimately never happened. At the end as an adult Augusten sees another father display love to his child and burts into tears. I couldn't help but feel that he had his whole life to get over this and it was a bit wet! Will have to read his other books for context but really didn't think he had a story to tell here.
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by Augusten Burroughs
by Augusten Burroughs
by Augusten Burroughs
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