Review
...A broad and varied insight into how people cope with this disparity between idealised and experienced love...the fresh perspective and innovative format adopted by Ben-Ze'ev and Goussinsky means 'In the Name of Love' is an excellent starting point for those beginning research in this area. (
The Psychologist )
Were we lied to by our love songs? Philosopher Aaron Ben Ze'ev and Ruhama Goussinsky look at the contemporary beliefs about romantic love that saturate our poems, movies, books and minds; then they show us the true face of this intoxicating, yet extreme, sometimes even murderous, emotion. Their aims: to revise our basic attitudes about this primordial feeling; to reveal it's power and it's danger; and to offer a new approach to understanding, getting and giving love. It's educated, realistic and smart. (
Helen Fisher PhD, Research Professor, Department of Anthropology, Rutgers University, and author of Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love )
There have been quite a few books on love recentlywe're talking romantic love, erotic love, passionate loveand some have been very good. This book by Aaron Ben-Ze'ev and Ruhama Goussinsky may be the best yet. It starts with the longings that so many people experience, it acknowledges the altruism of love, and it takes in interviews with men who murdered their wives. This perceptive, beautifully written, and fascinating book will make you think. (
Keith Oatley, Department of Psychology, University of Toronto, and author of Emotions: A brief history )
The authors have stripped bare the paradoxes at the heart of our ideals of romantic love. They begin by showing that wife-killers talk just like saccharine pop tunes about love eternal, and that their crime is more than the unfortunate effect of escalating passion. Instead, murder in the name of love stems from a kind of fundamentalism in the ideology of love. This is a shockingly fresh take on an ancient topic, and it makes for a fascinating read. In a time when the possibility of enduring romantic relationships has deteriorated, In the Name of Love offers a novel account of the ideology of romantic love, its surprising staying power, and the prospects for its recuperation. (
Ronald de Sousa, Department of Philosophy, University of Toronto )
Keith Oatley, University of Toronto, author of Emotions: A brief history
There have been quite a few books on love recently--we're talking romantic love, erotic love, passionate love--and some have been very good. This book by Aaron Ben-Ze'ev and Ruhama Goussinsky may be the best yet. It starts with the longings that so many people experience, it acknowledges the altruism of love, and it takes in interviews with men who murdered their wives. This perceptive, beautifully written, and fascinating book will make you think.
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