From the Author
Sexy Web Sites and Your Roadmap to PleasureThe inspiration for The Woman's Guide to Sex on the Web came to Cathy and me nearly simultaneously--after working together for 10 years, our lightbulbs often click on at the same time. We had just discovered tons of great sex sites while researching our last book, The New Good Vibrations Guide to Sex. When most people think of sex on the Web they conjure up images of lonely guys surfing for nudie pix--we decided it was up to us to liberate the Web from this unfortunate stereotype (and wouldn't it be fun spending a year surfing sex sites!).
Sure, there are tons of mediocre porn sites and more XXX banner ads than you'd ever care to view (especially using a slow modem), but there are also hundreds of fascinating, quirky, educational, steamy and inspiring sex sites. But most people, especially women, don't want to waste time slogging through the bad stuff, so we found them ourselves and created a roadmap to the good stuff on the Web. And we also found women going online in record numbers, enjoying themselves sexually in ways they'd never dreamed of or been able to in their offline lives--writing erotica in online forums, learning about technique from sex info sites, getting friendly in chat rooms, or shopping for sex toys from the privacy of their own homes. The enthusiasm with which women discussed and revealed newfound aspects of their sexuality (we surveyed hundreds of women), was awe-inspiring. And we're certain there are plenty of men out there who will appreciate a discriminating guide, and a peek into what women are doing online!
What's been interesting to me since the book was published and Cathy and I have embarked on a radio tour across the country, is the extent to which people hold on to the stereotypes about sex on the Web. Sure, we've had mostly positive interviews with folks who have either experienced sex on the Web in a postive way or can relate to its potential for sexual self-empowerment, but occasionally we get a rash of calls from folks who are convinced that sex on the Web is responsible for 1) stealing husbands and 2) corrupting youth.
One caller addressed me as "Ms. Condoning Queen" for suggesting that cybersex was another form of fantasy which can actually improve sexual expression and self-awareness in one's primary relationship, and unleashed a venomous outburst when I suggested that parents use the Web's sex education resources (like Planned Parenthood and Coalition for Positive Sexuality) to inform and educate their kids rather than ban them wholesale from anything remotely sex-related online.
But perhaps my favorite part of the year I spent surfing sex sites was the incredible community I encountered. It's so hard to make new friends in one's everyday life, but online correspondence is simple, appreciated and fun. Sex was just part of what we talked about--I learned about my new friends' families, jobs and dreams. And now I have so many pen pals!
