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Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You

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Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You (Paperback)

by Susan Forward (Author), Donna Frazier (Author)

5.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (7 customer reviews)

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This item: Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward

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Toxic Parents; Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life by Susan Forward

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This item: Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward
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Toxic Parents; Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life by Susan Forward
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Product details

Paperback: 272 pages
Publisher: Harper Paperbacks; Reprint edition (Mar 1998)
Language English
ISBN-10: 0060928972
ISBN-13: 978-0060928971
Product Dimensions: 20.1 x 13.5 x 1.8 cm

Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (7 customer reviews)

Amazon.co.uk Sales Rank: 112,558 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

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15 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars easy to understand, great insites, 25 Mar 2001

By	netta111@hotmail.com (U.K.) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You (Audio Cassette)

It is so easy now to see how some people gets their way without you even being aware of it. Or how you know that it is happening but for some reasons can't stop it. Forward, as alway, is clear in her writing, helpful, friendly and deep.

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9 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Definitive Guide on Emotional Blackmail, 29 Dec 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Emotional Blackmail (Paperback)

Susan is brillant on this topic that affects every single person on this planet. It explains the the whole suject with examples. You get the reasons why people use EB and why we respond and ultimately she provides a classic method of dealing with people who use fear, obligation and guilt to manipulate you. It's more than effective. GET THIS BOOK if you want the score on EB.

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19 of 28 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Guilt of the Abused, 24 Nov 2003

By	Sam Vaknin "author of books about narcissisti... (Skopje, Macedonia) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This book describes insightfully the danse macabre that is the abuser-victim dyad. Self-flagellation is a characteristic of those who choose to live with a narcissist (and a choice it is). Constant guilt feelings, self-reproach, self-recrimination and, thus - self-punishment typify the relationships formed between the sadist-narcissist and the masochistic-dependent mate or partner.

The narcissist projects his inner turmoil and drags everyone around him into a swirl of bitterness, suspiciousness, meanness, aggression and pettiness. His life is a reflection of his psychological landscape: barren, paranoiac, tormented, guilt ridden. He feels compelled to do unto others what he perpetrates unto himself. He gradually transforms all around him into replicas of his conflictive, punishing personality structures.

Some narcissists are more subtle than others. They disguise their sadism. For instance, they "educate" their nearest and dearest (for their sake, as they present it). This "education" is compulsive, obsessive, incessantly, harshly and unduly critical. Its effect is to erode the subject, to humiliate, to create dependence, to intimidate, to restrain, to control, to paralyse.

The narcissist deliberately confuses responsibility with guilt and demands compensation for his or her "sacrifices". By provoking guilt in responsibility-laden situations, the narcissist transforms life with him into a constant trial.

The narcissist-victim dyad is a conspiracy, a collusion of victim and mental tormentor, a collaboration of two needy people who find solace and supply in each other's deviations. Only by breaking loose, by aborting the game, by ignoring the rules - can the victim be transformed (and by the way, acquire the newly found appreciation of the narcissist).

The narcissist's partner should not feel guilty or responsible and should not seek to change what only time (not even therapy) and (difficult) circumstances may change. She should not strive to please and to appease, to be and not to be, to barely survive as a superposition of pain and fear. Releasing herself from the chains of guilt and from the throes of a debilitating relationship - is the best help that a loving mate can provide to her ailing narcissistic partner. Sam Vaknin, author of "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited".

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Most Recent Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 stars Very helpful and makes me realise I'm not going crazy!
This book definitely points out some of the typical behavior I have encountered and where I was made to feel bad when I shouldn't. Read more

Published 4 months ago by S. Vara

5.0 out of 5 stars It goes back to childhood
This book should be required reading for us all. I typed "Emotional Blackmail" in, the book came up and the list of blackmailers' threats, including depression is very helpful... Read more

Published 5 months ago by A Customer

5.0 out of 5 stars BLACKMAIL DEFINATELY
I enjoyed this book it helped me to see that i have been emotionally blackmailed throughout my life, if this is the case with you read the book. Read more

Published 5 months ago by E. Oulsnam

5.0 out of 5 stars Total Enlightenment
I have literally just opened my parcel containing my copy of EB and am only on the 4th page! So far I am sat here with my mouth open in shock and disbelief that it makes so much... Read more

Published on 11 Dec 2006 by Ms. Michelle S. Shrimpton

› See all 7 customer reviews...

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