Amazon.co.uk Review
A classic and unique self-help book,
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus tackles the perennial problems faced by couples everywhere. Gray tells an allegorical story of the Venusians and the Martians who move to Earth, having enjoyed wonderful and fulfilling relationships with one another for many years. However, as soon as they arrive on this planet, amnesia sets in! They can no longer remember that they are from different planets and all sorts of communication and emotional problems set in. Written in an unpretentious and jargon- free style, Gray's tactic of using "Venusian" and "Martian" to refer to the two genders (and he does comment that these roles are not necessarily based on sexual biology) avoids the dead-end path followed by so many people, of using sweeping statements such as: "men always
" or "women just don't understand
". Instead, he says: "Remember, Venusians are from a different planet, therefore
" or, "Martians need
" This in itself is worthwhile tactic, removing blame-culture and shifting communication onto a new level where it is OK not to be on the same wavelength all the time and not to
automatically understand all your partner's needs. His new naming strategy even manages to be amusing, in a way that many books in this area can fail to be, although the writing tends towards over-simplicity at times.
He discusses every aspect of relationships--but most importantly he does this in practical ways. For example, he lists common statements that a person in a relationship say to their partner, what that person intends them to mean and what the person to whom it is directed actually hears, or thinks they mean. Gray goes on to suggest ways to say what you intended that are more appropriate for the Venusian or Martian audienc--he even compiles lists of translations of common male/female exchanges.
Each chapter takes situations from either the Venusian or Martian side, making the book easy to dip into, as well as enjoyable to read cover to cover. The case for each interplanetary race is put simply and in a very down-to-earth manner, and the book avoids trying to be too clever for its own good.
Some tips from the book: Venusians take note--Martians also have monthly cycles of emotions, and need to retreat into their "cave" every now and then, so Venusians needn't feel shut out when their favourite Martian retreats without a word. The Martians could help by telling the Venusians that while they are retreating right now, they will soon be back out and they will then discuss any concerns the Venusians have. Martians should be reassured that, although Venusians climb down into their well every now and then, it is not that the Martians have hurt them--they too are taking time out. Their favourite Venusian will be back soon, ready to re-embrace their closeness.
The personality of the author shines through, the tone of the book being helpful, friendly and non-judgmental, kind and well-meaning, although the self-help strategy of repeating and summarising points results in the book seeming somewhat directionless. It is nevertheless an essential title for the bookshelf of every self-respecting self-help addict, and is a good place to start for the curious. It does also have some real gems of wisdom and new strategies--all in all, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus is a star guide to understanding the constellations of coupledom. --Alison Jardine
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
About the Author
John Gray is a therapist and author. His books include the best-selling Men Are From Mars, Women
Are From Venus, Men Women and Relationships and Mars and Venus in the Bedroom.
He has a doctorate in psychology and, in addition to his private practice for relationship therapy, has
conducted seminars in major cities for twenty years. He lives in northern California, with his wife,
Bonnie, and their three children.
An internationally recognized expert in the fields of
communication and relationships, John Gray's
unique focus is assisting men and women in
understanding, respecting, and appreciating their
differences. For more than twenty years, he has
conducted public and private seminars to thousands
of participants. In his highly acclaimed books,
audiotapes and videotapes, as well as in his
enlightening lectures and stimulating weekend
seminars, Gray entertains and inspires audiences
with his practical insights and easy-to-use
communication techniques that can be immediately
applied to enrich relationships.
John Gray is a popular speaker on the national
lecture circuit and often appears on television and
radio programs to discuss his work. He has made
guest appearances on such shows as: Oprah, Good
Morning America, The Today Show, Live With Regis,
The View, Politically Incorrect, Larry King Live, The
Roseanne Show, CNN and Company, and many
others. He has been profiled in USA Today, Time
Magazine, TV Guide, People Magazine, New Age
Journal, Forbes, and numerous major newspapers
across the U.S
Dr. Gray's nationally syndicated column reaches 30
million readers in many newspapers.
Internationally, the column appears
in publications in England, Canada, Korea, Mexico
and Israel. The column reaches more than 10 million
readers weekly. Dr. Gray is also a columnist for
Redbook, Brides and Parents magazines.
Dr. Gray is a Certified Family Therapist, Consulting
Editor of The Family Journal, a member of the
Distinguished Advisory Board of the International
Association of Marriage and Family Counselors, a
Fellow and Diplomate of the American Board of
Medical Psychotherapists and
Psychodiagnosticians, and a member of the
American Counseling Association.
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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