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And do I have a lot to write! Mum's just re-married, but how could she marry a man called Roland Butter? What kind of a name is that? He's a total dweeb who sends me coded messages and calls me Cherry Pie. Yuck!
If things get too bad at home I could always drown myself in the school-dinner special - curried compost-heap. I've got my best friend, Skinny Melon, to cheer me up but I'm not sure if even she can save me Roland and his messages or work out what Mum's big secret is...
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