Paul Hauck is the author of "How to Love and Be Loved" and "How to Stand Up for Yourself". People can feel guilty about self-interest, but this book shows that self-neglect can hold you back in many ways and prevent you from getting the most out of life. The book offers practical advice about how to assess your goals and abilities positively, and handle opposition and frustration calmly.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
42 of 42 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
Paul Hauck writes throughout in a clear and no nonsense manner, with an underlying humour. He looks at essential self-defeating areas such as not thinking for oneself, faulty thinking, controlling emotions, the widespread problem of excessive passivity, social skills, health and wealth. Much of the help comes not only from Paul Hauck's own wisdom as a clinical psychologist but also from the empowering nature of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy which outlines 11 core irrational beliefs and how we can rethink these and therefore control negative emotions such as anger, fear, procrastination and jealousy. This really helps one see the real self-defeating nature and futily of so many of our thoughts. It is not events or frustrations that effect one but rather our thinking and resulting disturbances. In the section on "enough is enough" he outines 3 invaluable but simple rules adapted from clinical psychologists; Clifford and Charles Madsen which I have found to be invaluable and this together with the "Control Yourself" section has shifted my whole attitude to dealing with perceived difficult situations. Therefore, I can say that this book is a great guide to truly being kinder to yourself and therefore happier.
58 of 59 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Paul Hauck is a Psychologies in USA with a PHD.
Sections covered in this book. What is self neglect, think for yourself, faulty thinking, control yourself, enough is enough, Friendship & social skills, health and wealth, hold your head high.
The section I found the most helpful was the section on "Enough is Enough". It basically talks about people being too passive and being a door mat for others. It explains on how to deal with people with positive re-enforcing the behaviour you require and how to deal with people who behave in a way you do not like......3Rules. If people do something nice to you then do something nice to them. (this is the positive reenfoucement and will ensure that the person is more likely to repeat the nice behaviour). 2. If people do something bad to you, reason with them and continue to do something nice to them. 3. If person continues to do something bad to you and talking/reason does not help then do something equally annoying to them, but do it without anger, guilt, pity or fear of rejection. I am currently using this technique to re-enforce postive & good behaveiour from other people. I also feel that if people are to treat me badly then I now know what I can do about it. The books give plenty of real life example to demonstrate.
It discusses procastiation and how to get over this. The friend ship section talks about things that can hinder friendship ( shyness, anger & selfcenterness).
I have also read "Think your way to happiness" by Windy Dryden and Jack Gordon.
I have found that I am now challenging my negative thoughts about myself and now replace it with more positive rational thoughts. I have also notices how other make generalisation and irration comments about other people and about themselves.
23 of 23 people found the following review helpful
By M. F
Format:Paperback
I bought this book for a friend when I was about 19, and then read it myself. I do not use the title for this review lightly. The book guides you gently through cognitive therapy techniques, and ones way of thinking about things gradually changes for the better. It teaches us not to feel guilty about self-indulgence as long as its not at anothers expense, and enables us to see that its not the situation that causes us stress, but rather how we think about that situation. Otherwise everybody would react the same way to everything wouldn't they?
Dr Hauck manages to cram a huge amount of relevant material into such a slim handy volume. Highly recommended to anyone who wants to feel happier. You don't have to be depressed to appreciate the value obtained here.
Dr Hauck manages to cram a huge amount of relevant material into such a slim handy volume. Highly recommended to anyone who wants to feel happier. You don't have to be depressed to appreciate the value obtained here.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
By Sandy67
Format:Paperback
This book was actually recommended to me not by a friend as is normal for recommendations but by a tea leaf reader. Went to a friends house where a tea leafer reader came to read our tea leaves and one of the things she recommended to me was this book. She said she never had recommended a book to anyone before but felt that I needed to read this book. And for those skeptics out there she was right.
It is a book that I have read on many occasions and revert to often. Would recommend it so much that I have leant it to friends and ended up buying it again recently as realised I couldnt find it, must have given it to a very good friend that needed it more than me! I bought a couple of copies and gave to two other friends who I thought would appreciate it and both thanked me for the recommendation.
I am the eldest of four siblings and putting other people first is what I have done for most of my life. I have had many people in my life who I thought were good friends and have given a lot to others only to feel sometimes used or taken for granted. This book helps you understand that being a little selfish now and then and thinking of yourself is good. It gives great advice and help in overcoming some negative and bad habits we create and helping you let go of people who hold you back and appreciate your true friends who will be understanding. Looking after yourself is not a selfish act and it creates a happier person which is a good thing.
It is a book that I have read on many occasions and revert to often. Would recommend it so much that I have leant it to friends and ended up buying it again recently as realised I couldnt find it, must have given it to a very good friend that needed it more than me! I bought a couple of copies and gave to two other friends who I thought would appreciate it and both thanked me for the recommendation.
I am the eldest of four siblings and putting other people first is what I have done for most of my life. I have had many people in my life who I thought were good friends and have given a lot to others only to feel sometimes used or taken for granted. This book helps you understand that being a little selfish now and then and thinking of yourself is good. It gives great advice and help in overcoming some negative and bad habits we create and helping you let go of people who hold you back and appreciate your true friends who will be understanding. Looking after yourself is not a selfish act and it creates a happier person which is a good thing.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
Brilliant
This book really helps people who are depressed and find it hard to love and accept themselves. It really helped me to learn to look after No. Read more
Published 6 months ago by AnitaAmazon
5.0 out of 5 stars
Practical No-Nonsence Advice
I have read a lot of books on this subject as I am a self-help coach. This is one of the best I have read. Read more
Published 17 months ago by A. M. Quinn
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