You'll Win Nothing With Kids: Fathers, Sons and Football
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'The Fever Pitch of the junior league' SUNDAY TIMES 'It's a fizzingly funny, sad, thoughtful book, and should win White a hatful of awards. He done well, the lad, as they say' SUNDAY TELEGRAPH 'Touching, involving and really quite enthralling... White proves that you can win everything with kids' DAILY TELEGRAPH 'White's loving book evokes all the obsessional doubts and hopes involved in running an Under -14 side... A pleasure to read' INDEPENDENT 'This is a must-read for anyone with their own clutch of would-be Beckhams, either as a parent or coach. It's at turns wry, touching and very funny but always utterly authentic' TIME OUT 'A tart mix of humour and sharp observation' THE FIRST POST 'Extremely entertaining ... has the whiff of bestseller about it' INDEPENDENT ON SUNDAY 'Endearing comedy and raw emotion' INDEPENDENT --Sunday Times
Independent
'Endearing comedy and raw emotion'
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
A wonderful book. So funny you will laugh out loud, accurate to the point of seeing yourself in many of the pages, so moving in places that you will consider what you say next time your lad takes puts on his boots. Brilliant.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
I admit I've done it. I ,ve stood on a touchline and shouted as my progeny has run up and down a lumpy field . "Track back", "Concentrate" "Man On", "For gods sake stop calling the ref a W***er and let me do it". All the time I was doing this I was fully cognisant that I was being every bit as idiotic as the other parents screaming their sagacious advice though I don't think I ever descended to the level of the misanthropic sack of s**t who kept advising his lad to "nobble him son".
Jim White would undoubtedly think I was a fool and of course he would be right. This book is an account of a season spent in charge of Northmeadow Youth under 14,s .White has coached the team for six years and his son is in the team .This immediately puts him offside with me as my afore mentioned progeny fell foul of a manager who played his son ( A gangling clueless lad who clearly didn't want to be there)while better players , including my son languished on the touchline much of the time . It's quickly clear though that White , who is also a football reporter for the "Telegraph", is a far more self aware self decrepitating individual than the boss of that team .He calls himself "The part on the sidelines".
So while he obsesses over the performance of the team and their on-going battle against relegation he can still take time to spot the idiosyncrasies of others around him and the minutiae involved in playing football at this level while pertinently realising his own failings .This makes You'll Win Nothing With Kids( Taken from Alan Hansen's infamous remark about a youthful Manchester United side......they won the league that year) a very amusing book and at times an oddly touching one. There is plenty of conflict , especially when the club want to buy a new kettle, plenty of strife -dog turds on the pitch seem to be a constant bane of the low level football fraternity- yet the most salient edge to this book is the bond between father and son as they endeavour to improve the team.
Talking of improving the team White uses his connections within the game to raid the professional arena for advice , chatting to amongst others Brain McClair ,Jose Mourinho( Working with kids is "The purest kind of football work") ,Ron Atkinson, and Bobby Robson .Their advice is surprisingly helpful too as the team go on an extended cup run .He also questions the motives of anyone taking up a coaching role in kids football .Is it an ego thing or a genuine altruistic desire to improve the lives of others?
Anyone who has watched boys football or even more pertinently had their offspring play at that level will recognise the scenarios and characters that imbibe this book with so much colour . Hopefully it may also help one or two recognise how unacceptable and self defeating their touchline ranting is......but I wouldn't bet on it.
Jim White would undoubtedly think I was a fool and of course he would be right. This book is an account of a season spent in charge of Northmeadow Youth under 14,s .White has coached the team for six years and his son is in the team .This immediately puts him offside with me as my afore mentioned progeny fell foul of a manager who played his son ( A gangling clueless lad who clearly didn't want to be there)while better players , including my son languished on the touchline much of the time . It's quickly clear though that White , who is also a football reporter for the "Telegraph", is a far more self aware self decrepitating individual than the boss of that team .He calls himself "The part on the sidelines".
So while he obsesses over the performance of the team and their on-going battle against relegation he can still take time to spot the idiosyncrasies of others around him and the minutiae involved in playing football at this level while pertinently realising his own failings .This makes You'll Win Nothing With Kids( Taken from Alan Hansen's infamous remark about a youthful Manchester United side......they won the league that year) a very amusing book and at times an oddly touching one. There is plenty of conflict , especially when the club want to buy a new kettle, plenty of strife -dog turds on the pitch seem to be a constant bane of the low level football fraternity- yet the most salient edge to this book is the bond between father and son as they endeavour to improve the team.
Talking of improving the team White uses his connections within the game to raid the professional arena for advice , chatting to amongst others Brain McClair ,Jose Mourinho( Working with kids is "The purest kind of football work") ,Ron Atkinson, and Bobby Robson .Their advice is surprisingly helpful too as the team go on an extended cup run .He also questions the motives of anyone taking up a coaching role in kids football .Is it an ego thing or a genuine altruistic desire to improve the lives of others?
Anyone who has watched boys football or even more pertinently had their offspring play at that level will recognise the scenarios and characters that imbibe this book with so much colour . Hopefully it may also help one or two recognise how unacceptable and self defeating their touchline ranting is......but I wouldn't bet on it.
11 of 12 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
Stuck in an airport I raced through this book - a good read. It's funny as the author describes many scenes i've seen at junior football and also quite moving. But more importantly there are sections of this book that should be required reading for all parents (especially the mouthy ones) of kids who play football, particularly for those who despair and rant at goalkeepers.
And I played football against Jim White. And I can confirm, as he admits in his book, he wasn't very good!
And I played football against Jim White. And I can confirm, as he admits in his book, he wasn't very good!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
a must for anyone who has ever been involved in kids football
if you have ever been invloved in kids football, you will laugh and cringe as you read this (and reognise yourself), a great read.
Published 6 months ago by rob jenkins
you'll win nothing with kids
this is a great read for anyone who has spent any time cheering on a load kids running around a muddy field. Read more
Published 8 months ago by adgoon
Searching for coaching nirvava
At first glance, a book about kids football seems slightly irrelevant. Might as well write a book about painting garden fences or dinner-party cooking disasters. Read more
Published 11 months ago by Eladjouf
Buy it for your coach for Christmas !
One of the boys in my husbands football team bought him this book for Christmas.
I laughed, I cryed, I laughed, I recognised my entire family in that book, although... Read more
I laughed, I cryed, I laughed, I recognised my entire family in that book, although... Read more
Published 20 months ago by Mrs Coach
kids football
Great book if you've ever been involved in kids' football teams. Read it and pick out the people you know.
Published on 31 Mar 2010 by Mr. F. Ryan
Only Mad People Become Kids Football Team Coaches
... And I did it too.
This book explains the year in a life of a coach of a kids team.
If you have ever done it you will laugh knowingly at the authors comments about the... Read more
This book explains the year in a life of a coach of a kids team.
If you have ever done it you will laugh knowingly at the authors comments about the... Read more
Published on 23 Jan 2010 by David L
You'll win nothing with kids
As a coach of an under 14 team I can identify with loads of the stories from this book. I also found the book useful in that being a top journalist the author had access to loads... Read more
Published on 2 Feb 2009 by Inky
Gets better as you read on.
I found Jim White's book rather clichéd and predictable. I began to wonder if it would have made a better read if he'd used even more `poetic license. Read more
Published on 14 Oct 2008 by Tom Willis
A fantastic read
I was briefly tempted to give this book only 4 stars because, in order to really, really appreciate where it is coming from, I think you also need to be a football dad and that... Read more
Published on 20 July 2008 by A. Reeves
It's not just about the football
I loved this book, the on-going story of a man managing a junior football team is intertwined around his feelings about his son growing up and the effect this has on their... Read more
Published on 8 Mar 2008 by Dales
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