You F'Coffee Sir?!!!: The Real Air Hostesses' Handbook (Liz & Julie) [Abridged] (Paperback)

I Am Being Stalked By Air Hostesses No really, I am. They are called Liz and Julie and they keep sending me mildly flirtatious emails. Much as I'd like to think it is just because they find me incredibly attractive it is actually down to the fact that they have a book out and want me to plug it on the blog. Send me a copy, I said. If I like it, I'll mention it. If I don't, I probably won't. You F'Coffee, Sir?!!!: The Real Air Hostesses' Handbook is an insider's account of life as an air hostess. It is frank, alarming, honest (most of the time) and very very rude. Liz and Julie have over 20 years of combined flying experience, have pretty much seen and done everything and have tried their best to fit most of those experiences into this 300 page book. So you have accounts of upgrading passengers in return for Valium, sex in the toilets and the unruly goings on in between flights; examples of incredibly stupid passengers, remarkably (ahem) active flight crew and the pick of in-flight gossip. But at the same time this is a very practical account of life as an air hostess. Liz and Julie take you through their careers from application to interviews, training, their first flights and right up to the present day. It would actually serve as a fantastic guide for women (and men) thinking of embarking upon a career in the industry, but is mainly just a lot of fun. Do not seek out this book if you are scared of flying, finding out about the real goings on behind the curtain probably won't make you feel any better. It is also best avoided if you dislike gratuitous swearing as the girls are rather foul-mouthed, but in a way that is both big and clever. Apart from that, I would suggest it is pretty much for anyone. As far as I can tell this is a self-published book, although they seem to have some good people backing them. It admits to taking a few liberties with the truth but much of the detail is so precise that I cannot doubt that the girls are the genuine article. If I have any criticism at all it is regarding the finished book. It feels a little bit too self-published with a thick glossy cover and bright white paper as well as quite small type. It could also have done with another copy edit. But those are minor quibbles, a good book is a good book and this one is bloody funny too (any book with a chapter that starts with the words 'Here is a funny story about poo..' is a winner as far as I am concerned). Full marks though must go to their website which is an absolute hoot and includes a range of fashion items and a CD you can buy. They really have gone to town on this and it is well worth a browse. At the moment the book seems to be unavailable at Amazon and I don't think it is being widely stocked by the chains. It is precisely the sort of book that one of the big retailers could completely clean up on if they took it under their wing, or something that a major publisher should sign up for big bucks now and re-release it with a big marketing budget next year. I am willing to bet that one of the two will come to pass. Watch this space. --Scott Pack. Commercial Director,The Friday Project.

I am very lucky to have received a copy of this book, which was only one of a few to be distributed for proof reading. As someone who does not work in the airline industry, I really did not know what to expect from this book. I've read 'babylon-esque' books previously and expected this to be of the same stuff. How wrong I was! This book goes way beyond the kinky revelations we all know and (love to) hate. You F'Coffee Sir is a book of real substance, giving amazing insight into the flying world of two air hostesses who have chosen to share their lives with us. The quality of the writing style is a real rarity, in that its narrative excellence made me think I was sat with the girls, enjoying their conversations, seeing what they see and doing what they do. As Northerners, the true to life lingo and cheeky, lovable accents of Liz and Julie is apparent in every written word. It really draws you in as a reader! They have written the book as a handbook for budding cabin crew, like a flying bible, but even if this is not your aim you will find it hard to not laugh (and cry) at the experiences these two girls have compiled into this classy, intelligent and exciting read. --M.Hinton

I have recently read a collection of flying novels but nothing even slightly compares the this book, it is "fantastic"- a true insight into the flying industry- no false stories and ridiculous accusations! It is comical, entertaining and an absolute must for anyone with a hint of intrest for the industry- a true handbook for those who want a carrer in the sky and a superb book for enjoying on the beach whilst on your holidays! I loved it and only hope there is a follow up! --Ms S.R.Moran. Script writer.

An amusing and eye-opening glimpse of life (in and out of) uniform. And yes, I'd love to meet the girls. But dare you take this along for in-flight reading?

That is one funny, scary and sometimes disgusting book. You Stewardesses rock.

inspirational, hilarious and insightful, liz and julie's book had me giggling from the start.

Liz & Julie are both long haul airline stewardesses working for a major British carrier. Together, they are the secret authors of a hilarious new book looking at the ever-expanding world of aviation and the adventures they have within their industry. Between them, their experience covers 24 years on board in stockings and lipstick, facing the travelling public, and often disgracing the travelling public, as they live a life style which is a mystery to many. They are best friends and flat mates originating from the North East of England, but now blissfully living in Manchester. Their book, "You F'Coffee Sir?!!!" was written in secret during trips away with work, and also during the precious down time at home recovering from long flights. Before deciding to approach publishing houses with the finished work, they set up a MySpace page to test reaction to their cheeky, blunt and honest writing, and have been delighted with the fact that the "Shameless Generation" have embraced their mix of glamorous vulgarity and raw honesty. The book has travel, fabulous destinations, glamour, romance, drama, fashion, and music. It's full of information, it's honest, it's shocking, and it's emotional. It's got loads of good advice and explanations, it's positive, it's life affirming and in the words of their website readers, it's also "as funny as f*ck".

BingBong Ltd are delighted to be involved in this project, and to be part of a book that is going to be a global success. To date we have sold copies of
"You F'Coffee Sir?!!!" to more than twenty countries, and the feedback we have received is beyond any publisher's dream. This book has sparked the imaginations of all of those who have read it. It is these sparks that are igniting interest aound the world, and we expect Liz and Julie to become the
most famous Air Hostesses yet, despite the fact that they insist on remaining incognito.
Book 2 "Let's Get Trollied - The Return Legs!" is well underway ETA March 2008.

Hello everyone! Right, we're not in the UK right now, but we have been asked to add in a bit here by our manager. Because we are lagged and can't sleep, this is the perfect opportunity to eat Skittles and Malteasers and think what we'd like to say.

We say that, honestly, the book is a right loads of laughs and good fun, and we started it for a joke, so that when we snuff it, we will leave something behind that will be of use to future folk, like the Roman shopping lists we saw at Hadrian's Wall. We wanted a snap shot of our flying lives, so we could never forget what a fantastic career this is for people who have patience and a love of larks, but also a sense of care and responsiblity for others. We felt we could pass on true useful detail and help newcomers, but we also knew we had been involved in some pretty mad stuff, and it would be a laugh to read about it.

It has gone fantastic! We have had comments the likes of which would delight JK herself, our reviews have been great, people bother to contact us and say amazing things, they are very fond of us and tell their pals and pass us along. It's just so flattering, kind and most of all astonishing that our funny, enjoyable project has really touched them. We don't want fame, we don't want millions, we just want a nil balance on the Visa cards and a flat in Ibiza so we can go and write more crackers stuff, and piss laughing over a hot Apple Mac and a Cold chardonnay. (Apple Mac computer, Jue says it sounds like a pie from a fast food outlet.) That would be bliss, coupled with a bit of part-time flying and being friends with Jade Jagger.

So, who knows? Maybe this will all come to pass, but if not, our book is doing fab, we're chuffed to bits with BingBong, our CD comes out soon and life is as good as it gets with a packed full time roster, a four hour commute each way to work, and very sore balls. (Of the feet. Must make that clear.)

So we hope you get the book and like it, nah!!! Love it!

Liz & Julie x

Liz & Julie have to remain incognito to avoid action being taken by their employers. Lets just say, they are naughty but very nice!!