You F'Coffee Sir?!!!: The Real Air Hostesses' Handbook (Liz & Julie) [Abridged] [Paperback]

I Am Being Stalked By Air Hostesses No really, I am. They are called Liz and Julie and they keep sending me mildly flirtatious emails. Much as I'd like to think it is just because they find me incredibly attractive it is actually down to the fact that they have a book out and want me to plug it on the blog. Send me a copy, I said. If I like it, I'll mention it. If I don't, I probably won't. You F'Coffee, Sir?!!!: The Real Air Hostesses' Handbook is an insider's account of life as an air hostess. It is frank, alarming, honest (most of the time) and very very rude. Liz and Julie have over 20 years of combined flying experience, have pretty much seen and done everything and have tried their best to fit most of those experiences into this 300 page book. So you have accounts of upgrading passengers in return for Valium, sex in the toilets and the unruly goings on in between flights; examples of incredibly stupid passengers, remarkably (ahem) active flight crew and the pick of in-flight gossip. But at the same time this is a very practical account of life as an air hostess. Liz and Julie take you through their careers from application to interviews, training, their first flights and right up to the present day. It would actually serve as a fantastic guide for women (and men) thinking of embarking upon a career in the industry, but is mainly just a lot of fun. Do not seek out this book if you are scared of flying, finding out about the real goings on behind the curtain probably won't make you feel any better. It is also best avoided if you dislike gratuitous swearing as the girls are rather foul-mouthed, but in a way that is both big and clever. Apart from that, I would suggest it is pretty much for anyone. As far as I can tell this is a self-published book, although they seem to have some good people backing them. It admits to taking a few liberties with the truth but much of the detail is so precise that I cannot doubt that the girls are the genuine article. If I have any criticism at all it is regarding the finished book. It feels a little bit too self-published with a thick glossy cover and bright white paper as well as quite small type. It could also have done with another copy edit. But those are minor quibbles, a good book is a good book and this one is bloody funny too (any book with a chapter that starts with the words 'Here is a funny story about poo..' is a winner as far as I am concerned). Full marks though must go to their website which is an absolute hoot and includes a range of fashion items and a CD you can buy. They really have gone to town on this and it is well worth a browse. At the moment the book seems to be unavailable at Amazon and I don't think it is being widely stocked by the chains. It is precisely the sort of book that one of the big retailers could completely clean up on if they took it under their wing, or something that a major publisher should sign up for big bucks now and re-release it with a big marketing budget next year. I am willing to bet that one of the two will come to pass. Watch this space. --Scott Pack. Commercial Director,The Friday Project.

I am very lucky to have received a copy of this book, which was only one of a few to be distributed for proof reading. As someone who does not work in the airline industry, I really did not know what to expect from this book. I've read 'babylon-esque' books previously and expected this to be of the same stuff. How wrong I was! This book goes way beyond the kinky revelations we all know and (love to) hate. You F'Coffee Sir is a book of real substance, giving amazing insight into the flying world of two air hostesses who have chosen to share their lives with us. The quality of the writing style is a real rarity, in that its narrative excellence made me think I was sat with the girls, enjoying --Ms S.R.Moran. Script writer.

I am very lucky to have received a copy of this book, which was only one of a few to be distributed for proof reading. As someone who does not work in the airline industry, I really did not know what to expect from this book. I've read 'babylon-esque' books previously and expected this to be of the same stuff. How wrong I was! This book goes way beyond the kinky revelations we all know and (love to) hate. You F'Coffee Sir is a book of real substance, giving amazing insight into the flying world of two air hostesses who have chosen to share their lives with us. The quality of the writing style is a real rarity, in that its narrative excellence made me think I was sat with the girls, enjoying their conversations, seeing what they see and doing what they do. As Northerners, the true to life lingo and cheeky, lovable accents of Liz and Julie is apparent in every written word. It really draws you in as a reader! They have written the book as a handbook for budding cabin crew, like a flying bible, but even if this is not your aim you will find it hard to not laugh (and cry) at the experiences these two girls have compiled into this classy, intelligent and exciting read. --M.Hinton

I have recently read a collection of flying novels but nothing even slightly compares the this book, it is "fantastic"- a true insight into the flying industry- no false stories and ridiculous accusations! It is comical, entertaining and an absolute must for anyone with a hint of intrest for the industry- a true handbook for those who want a carrer in the sky and a superb book for enjoying on the beach whilst on your holidays! I loved it and only hope there is a follow up! --Ms S.R.Moran. Script writer.

An amusing and eye-opening glimpse of life (in and out of) uniform. And yes, I'd love to meet the girls. But dare you take this along for in-flight reading?