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If You Don't Know Me by Now: A Memoir of Love, Secrets and Lies in Wolverhampton
 
 
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If You Don't Know Me by Now: A Memoir of Love, Secrets and Lies in Wolverhampton [Hardcover]

Sathnam Sanghera
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (104 customer reviews)
RRP: £16.99
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Product details

  • Hardcover: 336 pages
  • Publisher: Viking (6 Mar 2008)
  • Language English
  • ISBN-10: 0670916706
  • ISBN-13: 978-0670916702
  • Product Dimensions: 23.6 x 15 x 3.4 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (104 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 236,457 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Sathnam Sanghera
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Product Description

Jonathan Coe

Told with enormous compassion and the most unexpected dry wit ... What a painful and joyous voyage of discovery!

Andrea Ashworth, author of bestselling memoir Once in a House on Fire

As charming as it is wrenching, as funny as it is haunting, this book is wonderfully unlike any other

Inside This Book (Learn More)
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Customer Reviews

104 Reviews
5 star:
 (84)
4 star:
 (10)
3 star:
 (3)
2 star:
 (3)
1 star:
 (4)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
4.6 out of 5 stars (104 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

48 of 48 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely unputadownable! A witty and courageous story of a fascinating life..., 5 Sep 2009
By 
K. Chahal (London, UK) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
Having grown up a Jat Sikh boy in a working class British family I found I could relate to so much of this book, it's probably the first ever written by someone of our demographic that has received so much praise and I understand been nominated for several prizes. Sathnam's story is as well written as his articles in the Times and Financial Times. His words seem to have the power to capture your imagination while occasionally making you laugh out loud. During several chapters I actually found myself laughing out loud uncontrollably on the tube much to my fellow passengers' amusement. The book also delves into more serious issues around his family's struggles with mental health that left me gasping for air and feeling grateful for the life I had... If you think you're family had issues growing up then reading this will definitely bring you back down to earth! My favourite chapter was the excellent description of the arranged marriage dating process which I can only say is one of the most accurate descriptions of modern day second generation Asian life in Britain and Sathnam continues to add his intellectual dry wit at every occasion. I also respect that he has bought out in the open a number of controversial issues with our community from superstitions to the caste system and social integration problems that apply to not just the Sikh community but many other Asian immigrants in the Western world. I highly recommend this book to anyone that wants to read something original, thought provoking and horizon widening.
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23 of 23 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Humorous, sad and honest, 2 May 2008
By 
R. Collings (London) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: If You Don't Know Me by Now: A Memoir of Love, Secrets and Lies in Wolverhampton (Hardcover)
I have just finished reading this book and found it such a good read that I felt compelled to share this view with anyone thinking of purchasing it.

I am not a fan of the memoir genre but the reviews of this book made me curious and so I purchased it. I laughed and cried when I read it and I was struck by how Sanghera has managed to write a book about his life as a British Asian and yet manage to captivate a much wider audience than this with his tales of growing up in the 1970s and 80s.

The tale of the schizophrenia afflicting his father and sister is tragic and yet full of hope and pride.

This is not only a journey through his past to understand these illnesses but a journey for Sanghera to discover who he is and become more comfortable with this. He does this with such engaging humour that you are full of the admiration his mother must feel for her son.


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21 of 21 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Laugh Out Loud Funny!, 20 Oct 2009
By 
E. S. Dale "Sarah" (London) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
Regular readers of Sathnam Sanghera's column in The Times will already know him for the eloquent and witty wordsmith that he is. It is interesting to learn therefore that he is carved of illiterate parents that speak not a word of English.

Sathnam grew up in a traditional Sikh working class family in Wolverhampton and emerged from it into his middle class media lifestyle in London. He tries (sadly fails) to find true love whilst all the time returning home regularly to endure his mothers plans to arrange him in marriage to a Sikh girl of the "right" caste.

Out of a need to bridge this yawning gap in his double life, Sathnam resolves to write a letter to his mother declaring that he will only marry for love and rejecting her notion of his destiny. The letter forms the penultimate chapter of the book; his mother's response the dénouement.

Sathnam's story is sensitive, thought provoking and most definitely laugh out loud funny. It had me by the end of paragraph one.

The only problem with this book is that it has to end. It's written so beautifully I wanted it to just not stop. Sadly I won't have the delight of reading this great book for the first time ever again. You have that treat ahead of you, so grab yourself a copy, curl up and enjoy!








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