You Cannot Be Serious!
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More About the Author
Product Description
Review
Acclaim for Matthew Norman:
‘That f*cking idiot’ Alan Sugar
‘Moron’ Frank Warren
‘I’m going to do him physical damage’ David Pleat
‘When it comes to ridiculing people in the spotlight there is no one sharper or funnier than Matthew Norman - and I should know’ Peter Mandelson
Product Description
This is a book for the sports lover.
In an Orwellian Ministry of Sport, what ultimate terror would await you in Room 101? Would Tim Henman's choking crush the spirit sooner than the glacial detachment of his parents? Would the philandering of an Ashley Cole or a Will Carling break you faster than the pipe-smoking prissiness of bowlsman David Bryant or the obese bare-chested Geordie football fan in winter? Would it be Neville Neville's unrepentant siring of Phil that cracked you, or the Charidee Fun Runner doing the marathon in the guise of Spiderman? The nasally overexcited John Motson or the mellifluously smug Peter Alliss? How do you rank the self-pitying lunacy of Arsène Wenger against Alex Ferguson's psychotic ranting? Or the shameful innumeracy of referee Graham Poll against umpire Billy Bowden's sinister crook-finger?
Counting down the greatest torments in sport from 101 to number one has been a filthy job. But someone had to do it.
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
20 of 22 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
Ok, I hate Christmas books like this. I hate books called a 100 or 101 anything. They are cheap, lazy, designed to rip off the punter. The title of this book is also crap. It sounds like a book from 30 years ago.
However, it is a book worth buying for two reasons:
One, Matthew Norman is an excellent journalist - one of small band who seem to cross the tabloid / broadsheet divide. Others would include journo's like Marina Hyde and,surprisingly perhaps, Piers Morgan, (but not, obviously, Julie Burchill, who is awful in every media).
Two, Matthew Norman is clearly obsessed with sport, even more than he is with food (and a full body photo of him will testify to his love of grub.)
And there you go, that's it - good writer, great enthusiasm, a rich subject matter, full of idiots and horrible people to belittle, all adds up to good reading material. Maybe the stupid title was the publisher's idea. It's Christmas, lets give Mr Norman the benefit of the doubt.
However, it is a book worth buying for two reasons:
One, Matthew Norman is an excellent journalist - one of small band who seem to cross the tabloid / broadsheet divide. Others would include journo's like Marina Hyde and,surprisingly perhaps, Piers Morgan, (but not, obviously, Julie Burchill, who is awful in every media).
Two, Matthew Norman is clearly obsessed with sport, even more than he is with food (and a full body photo of him will testify to his love of grub.)
And there you go, that's it - good writer, great enthusiasm, a rich subject matter, full of idiots and horrible people to belittle, all adds up to good reading material. Maybe the stupid title was the publisher's idea. It's Christmas, lets give Mr Norman the benefit of the doubt.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
A quite awful book. The writer's jealousy of those with more talent than him shines through. No insightful thoughts or enlightening information is given and the reasons for the choices are rarely justified.
For those who would have enjoyed the intrigue of getting to the end of the book without knowing who fills the top few places this is spoiled by needless referencing of them in the earlier entries.
For those who would have enjoyed the intrigue of getting to the end of the book without knowing who fills the top few places this is spoiled by needless referencing of them in the earlier entries.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
Whilst this is generally a well written book and the contents are, of course, highly subjective I would take issue over his No.1 choice Peter Alliss. Once Mr Norman has reached anywhere near the status of one who is almost universally regarded as a wonderful observer of golf and all within its ambit (how else would he have stayed as a prime commentator not only in the UK but in the USA where they are fearsome in getting rid of broadcasters who don't keep up to the mark) he may be permitted to be so critical but as, in my opinion, he is not, he should be above such vitriol. What is worse is that it makes an unfunny ending to a book that does contain some gems of humour and reduces this reader to near appoplexy.
Footnote: It could be construed, from what is written in the essay, that the dripping acid may be based on some remarks that Mr Alliss had made previously about Mr Norman's writing. I would have thought Mr Norman could rise above that.
Footnote: It could be construed, from what is written in the essay, that the dripping acid may be based on some remarks that Mr Alliss had made previously about Mr Norman's writing. I would have thought Mr Norman could rise above that.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Very amusing book marred by one editorial decision
Let's face it, if asked to come up with 101 people (and occasionally things) which most irritate us about sport, no two sports fans would come up with anything remotely approaching... Read more
Published 4 months ago by Chris Rand
This was a gift
This was bought as a gift so never read it, arrived on time and well packaged. No problems with this purchase
Published 5 months ago by al
Funny in parts
Having read or listened to Matthew Norman for many years, I was not surprised by the contents of this book. But it is quite funny in parts. Read more
Published 7 months ago by Big Andy
Sharp and spiky
Norman's pithy prose may not suit everyone's palate but it's never bland.
He's not afraid to shoot from the hip and more often than not he finds the target. Read more
He's not afraid to shoot from the hip and more often than not he finds the target. Read more
Published 13 months ago by Mr. K. Rance
A book of two halves
When I first received this book I was relieved that finally someone had put my rants on paper. It starts well and is full of quick and witty pieces on the most annoying people in... Read more
Published 16 months ago by conb77
Chalk Flew Up!
I bought this a Christmas present for my teenage nephew based on it being nominated Sunday Times sports book of the year in the Dec 2010 Culture section. Read more
Published 16 months ago by iPod Geek
No Place for Heroes
Matthew Norman is a versatile journalist: political commentator, TV reviewer, restaurant citic and sports writer. Read more
Published 17 months ago by Donald A. Mcintyre
Awful!
Why this tedious moronic rant from a talentless writer was ever published is a mystery. He is obviously envious of any sporting achiever as judging by his photo he looks like he... Read more
Published 17 months ago by Moonraker
Matthew Norman
I heard him on Talksport promoting this book and I was tempted to buy it.During his spiel he mentioned why Ian Botham was in it. Read more
Published 17 months ago by Don Arden
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