Yellowbeard [DVD]

Graham Chapman was a member of the classic comedy gang Monty Python, so it's not too surprising that "Yellowbeard" plays out like the world's longest Python skit -- tasteless, hilarious, and full of clinically insane characters. It doesn't have much of a plot, but the A-grade comedy actors make up for that much of the time.

Raping/pillaging pirate Yellowbeard (Chapman) has been in prison for twenty years for tax evasion. But since he's never even hinted where his treasure is, Navy Commander Clement (Eric Idle) pretends to add a hundred-forty years onto his sentence, hoping that he'll escape and lead them to the treasure. He does escape, but discovers that his tarty wife (Madeleine Kahn) has transferred his treasure map onto the head of her (and probably his) son Dan (Martin Hewitt).

After trying to decapitate Dan, Yellowbeard agrees to go on an adventure for the treasure, along with a scholarly doctor and an absentminded peer. Only the three of them get kidnapped by a press gang, and so Yellowbeard follows them on board, intent on raping, pillaging, mutiny, and getting back the treasure he took from the Spaniards (Cheech and Chong).

Yeah, it's a pretty thin plot -- the second half has basically no plot at all. But somehow it doesn't really interfere with the enjoyment of the story, especially since the cast is pure comic gold. Heck, it contains half of Monty Python --really, what higher compliment can you pay it than that?

The whole hijinks-on-the-way-to-treasure gets kind of muddled, as does the revenge of Yellowbeard's ex-first-mate. So Chapman and David Sherlock load on the mildly offensive comedy, including a bunch of sailors trying to smuggle prostitutes on board, and kindly Lord Lambourn constantly forgetting who other people are and what they're doing.

The dialogue is even better -- wonderfully weird, sometimes sick ("Look, if you cut my head off it'll start to putrify!" "Do what?" "Putrify, go rotten!" "Yeah, it would ooze a bit, heads do. But I could live with it!"). Sometimes the humor is outright groanworthy, such as one exchange between Idle and John Cleese: "I may be blind, but I have acute 'earing." "I don't care about your jewelry!"

Unsurprisingly, Chapman rules this with his wild-eyed, bloodthirsty, bawdy pirate -- it seems like a a Python character who never made it to the screen. Yellowbeard is great fun, and Chapman has two of his Python pals as well -- Idle as a perpetually frustrated Navy commander, and Cleese as a blind beggar with hearing that should count as a superpower.

Cheech and Chong make some cameos as greedy Spaniards as well, and Peter Cook has an endearing turn as the absentminded Lambourn. As if that wasn't enough, two of Mel Brooks' favorites are on here -- Madeleine Kahn as Yellowbeard's tarty, untruthful wife ("The afterplay was on the rough side, but not fatal, dear"), and Marty Feldman as a creepy little pirate spy. Sadly Feldman died on the last day of this shoot.

"Yellowbeard" is kinda lacking in plot, but it almost makes up for that with a hilarious, slightly demented cast of classic comedy actors, and plenty of quotables. Definitely worth seeing.

After waiting for ages for this it's finally going to be available in Region 2 format! I remember watching this as a kid and I have it on VCR...I'm a big fan of Cheech & Chong and Monty Python..and for example the death of Blind Pew (played by John Cleese) is one of the funniest moments in movies in general...it just works for me. Awesome stuff! Can't wait

I think I had this DVD on order for years. After delays it usualy went completely off the list, but persistence paid off and finaly I got my copy.
and well worth the wait. Did not loose any of the humor over the years (25 years old now) and good to watch.

Yellowbeard is a real pirate. That Jack Sparrow character is a charlatan compared to Yellowbeard. No nonsense, just go out and kill everybody. And when you get killed yourself? That should not stop you. (to be fair: it didn't stop Captain Jack either).

Anyway, if you love pirate movies or good British humor, this is a must-buy.